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Aegis Raiu
Kan: 1,387.55 
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User Title: [5th Division Captain]Unhinged Lunacy

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#81

Post by Aegis Raiu » Tue Feb 11, 2020 1:08 am

:lol:
Phantom-T wrote:
Wed Jan 22, 2020 11:00 am
Mission Review Request

Name of those involved: Hazuki Ryuga[Capt.]
Division of those involved: 8th Division.
Type: Mission , Skill training
Link: The Zone: Yin & Yang
I'll review this 8-)
word count: 39
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Aegis Raiu
Kan: 1,387.55 
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User Title: [5th Division Captain]Unhinged Lunacy

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#82

Post by Aegis Raiu » Tue Feb 11, 2020 1:11 am

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 10:25 pm
Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:30 pm
Name: Arthur Dayne and Ethririll Pheles
Division: 2nd Division and 13th Division
Type: Spar
Link: [Here]
Not reviewed yet?
I already posted the review for this don't worry about it.

Mission Review Request

Name of those involved: Hazuki Ryuga[Capt.], Daruis Lohr [Capt.], Akutagawa Atsushi [Capt.]
Division of those involved: 8th, 5th and 13th Division.
Type: Spar/Mission
Link: Shadows of the past, Captains might.



Review this if you're up to it instead.
word count: 94
PhoenixDayne
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#83

Post by PhoenixDayne » Tue Feb 11, 2020 3:56 am

Aegis Raiu wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 1:11 am
PhoenixDayne wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 10:25 pm


Not reviewed yet?
I already posted the review for this don't worry about it.

Mission Review Request

Name of those involved: Hazuki Ryuga[Capt.], Daruis Lohr [Capt.], Akutagawa Atsushi [Capt.]
Division of those involved: 8th, 5th and 13th Division.
Type: Spar/Mission
Link: Shadows of the past, Captains might.



Review this if you're up to it instead.
Can't. I'm involved.
word count: 83

Spirited away, One strides on the axis of death and alongside despair. Knowledge isn't finite, Our limit is Us.
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Aegis Raiu
Kan: 1,387.55 
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User Title: [5th Division Captain]Unhinged Lunacy

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#84

Post by Aegis Raiu » Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:15 am

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 3:56 am
Aegis Raiu wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 1:11 am


I already posted the review for this don't worry about it.

Mission Review Request

Name of those involved: Hazuki Ryuga[Capt.], Daruis Lohr [Capt.], Akutagawa Atsushi [Capt.]
Division of those involved: 8th, 5th and 13th Division.
Type: Spar/Mission
Link: Shadows of the past, Captains might.



Review this if you're up to it instead.
Can't. I'm involved.
Yeah that's true. @Fluxarc?
word count: 85
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Fluxarc
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#85

Post by Fluxarc » Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:36 am

Aegis Raiu wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:15 am
PhoenixDayne wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 3:56 am


Can't. I'm involved.
Yeah that's true. @Fluxarc?
Sure. Can. :)
word count: 31
THE CHRONICLES OF KARA
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FLUXARC | KARA MASTERS
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Fluxarc
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#86

Post by Fluxarc » Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:01 am




@PhoenixDayne @Aegis Raiu @Phantom-T


MISSION REVIEW - Shadows of the Past, Captains' Might. |Phantom T (Hazuki), PheonixDayne (Atsuchi), Aegis Raiu (Darius)|


Length
Decent length. I feel like it could have been longer, maybe putting some meat on the Dragon monster's backstory, or really diving into what it was and what its motivations were. I know this was touched on in the first post, but that felt more like a brief biography. Still, it worked for me. (7/10)

Word Organization & Presentation
Hmm. This is where I got a little lost. Now, when I first started reading, I had the soundtrack for Naruto, Heavy Violence (Naruto Vs Sasuke, Final Valley, Rescue Sasuke Arc) playing, and it was awesome. When Hazuki unleashed his exploding shadow crows and they rained down and Darius threw up an incinerating barrier ...god, it was awesome. Or when Atsuchi threw his Hyapporankan and followed up with the flame burst. Chills, man, chills. But there were moments in between where the narration and descriptions kind of ... wobbled, and I got taken out of it. Missing punctuations, shaky grammar, stuff like that. One minute it was like I was watching one of the greatest Naruto or Bleach episodes, and the next I had to push myself to read on. (6/10)


Storyline Creativity & Power Play
The plot was pretty basic, but that's okay. Because where this mission glowed up was in the action. I know I said this before, but ... holy ... friggin ... bazookas. This has to be one of the most epic spars I've read in terms of the sheer rawness and versatility of the action, and how each character played off one another. Okay, I have to say this ... Darius was my personal favorite. Now, don't throw bricks at me. :p. That moment when he lets loose and the massive pillar of flame erupts from him, and he's standing there smiling at Hazuki through the fire ... *screams in nerd*.

The villain was also pretty cool, and when the red eyed kids dropped in, I got Stephen King or John Carpenter horror vibes. Wish they could have battled those demon kids a little longer, but of course Darius just HAD to burn them all up. Show-off ... >__> (8/10)


Final Verdict
In spite of writing that was at times heavy-handed and distracting, and a somewhat flat villain,
'Shadows of the Past, Captain's Might' was a solid action rp, with a standout showing
from the character Darius.

Mission Grade 'B' = 3 CBS
[+2 CBS Points for +25 posts, and an extra 1 CBS point for good old awesometasticness]

Total, 6 CBS points.

Please update all required records as soon as possible.





Last edited by Phantom-T on Sat Feb 15, 2020 3:00 am, edited 2 times in total. word count: 448
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#87

Post by Fluxarc » Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:03 am

Fluxarc wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:44 pm

Name: A Homecoming, Knock Knock (Kara Masters + Aoshi)
Division: 2nd Division
Type: Spar
Link: A Homecoming, Knock Knock

Would like this reviewed before my three-way with Phe and Aegis. Anyone up to it, pretty please?


Anyone reviewing the above mission?
word count: 50
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PhoenixDayne
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#88

Post by PhoenixDayne » Fri Feb 14, 2020 12:51 pm

Fluxarc wrote:
Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:03 am
Fluxarc wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:44 pm

Name: A Homecoming, Knock Knock (Kara Masters + Aoshi)
Division: 2nd Division
Type: Spar
Link: A Homecoming, Knock Knock

Would like this reviewed before my three-way with Phe and Aegis. Anyone up to it, pretty please?


Anyone reviewing the above mission?
Eh, I could.
About done reading it even(nah. Not really)
word count: 70

Spirited away, One strides on the axis of death and alongside despair. Knowledge isn't finite, Our limit is Us.
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Fluxarc
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#89

Post by Fluxarc » Sat Feb 15, 2020 1:35 am

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Fri Feb 14, 2020 12:51 pm
Fluxarc wrote:
Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:03 am


Anyone reviewing the above mission?
Eh, I could.
About done reading it even(nah. Not really)
Thanksabunch!
word count: 35
THE CHRONICLES OF KARA
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PhoenixDayne
Kan: 1,755.90 
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Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:36 am

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#90

Post by PhoenixDayne » Sun Feb 16, 2020 10:23 am

Spar Review; Knock Knock • Home Coming •

First off, to be entirely honest, Kara dominated the entire length of this spar, it was that one-sided, only too few a moment did Aoshi do anything worthwhile.

Length;
It really wasn't decent, length-wise, 80-90% of the posts couldn't exceed 300-500word counts, combining them all really wouldn't yield much. On second thoughts, I guess it was passable, pretty okay, ig.[6/10]

Word Organization & Presentation;
This. . . . . This. . . . I didn't particularly have problems with Fluxarc's RP except in very few instances, where trying to imagine how an action went down was difficult. For Itachi, It was difficult, to put it bluntly, 50-60% of the time. However, there's no way I didn't enjoy this spar, it was cool, seeing the overwhelming pressure of Aoshi and the nigh-infinite ideas Kara applied.
Kara's Score; 8/10
Aoshi's Score; 6/10

Power Play, Godmod Sequences and In-Character ability limits
Well, This is where I'd explore lots!
Firstly, Aoshi, you created several suns within a split second when both speed are practically equal, felt off, was off in a sense, not like your hakuda/swordsmanship trumped hers to give you a greater reaction margin, no! It was more or less disregarding.
Kara, you've adjusted how much you can react, still needs a little adjustment but seeing how high your hakuda and hoho is, it's nothing to be alarmed about, still within strikezone.

And Aoshi, you undermined how potent Kara's strikes can be and about the complaint you made about Kara's utilization of decoy and how she masked her movement with wordplay, that's how you do fake though, it was outstanding the way she pulled it off. Now, My issue at hand, who gave you the info about the current captain of 2nd division and Arthur? It was left untouched. And currently, a shinigami becoming a togabito is still a work in progress, I suggest you refrain from treating Aoshi like a former shinigami until that's done and dusted.
And, I won't be picking a winner in this category for certain, confidential reasons.[7/10]

Storyline;
I don't believe there was a storyline to this, if there was any, I believe it wasn't touched. Still the combat was immersive. Nice spar, anyway.[6/10]

Conclusion
Your typical combat roleplay. It showed an interesting one-sided display from Kara Masters, whom, dominated about the entire length of the spar in both awesome writing, tactics and power-application. Of course, Aoshi had his moments though very few. This spar, despite not having a clear winner, sides with Kara as the Victor through display and categorical points.

Kara; 3CBS Points.
Aoshi; 1CBS Points.
An additional 2 for exceeding 25posts.

A total of 5CBS Points to Kara, and 3CBS Points to Aoshi.
word count: 483

Spirited away, One strides on the axis of death and alongside despair. Knowledge isn't finite, Our limit is Us.
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