Roleplay Workshop

User avatar
XIII
Founder
Kan: 1,357.35 
Posts: 1002
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2017 2:00 pm
User Title: [Slayer of Wretched Lions | The Unseen Deity]
Subtitle: [Sovereign]

Administrator

RP Leader

Roleplay Workshop

#1

Post by XIII » Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:07 pm

This will be a place to submit all forms of RP for review and grading by the Review Team.

Please post all submissions with the following format:
Name:
Division:
Type: (Solo, Spar, Mission, etc.)
Link:
Grading and rewards will be as follows:
  • S: Superior performance. Posts have excellent length and amount of detail and are clearly well thought out. Post also show superior knowledge of the techniques and abilities available and each are used with expert efficiency. Truly an example of going above and beyond. Overall a spar with very, very few flaws.
    Reward for Grade: 5 Levels
  • A: An example of top tier RP. Posts are of great length and detail. Proof that one knows what they are doing. Overall a spar with few mistakes here and there, but nothing critical.
    Reward for Grade: 4 Levels
  • B: A performance among the finer levels of RP. Above average in all fields earns this grade. A level of RP for the truly skilled, though there is room for improvement. Overall a solid performance with mistakes every now and then, some minor, and possibly very few that are a bit more serious, but nothing too troubling.
    Reward for Grade: 3 Levels
  • C: An all around average performance. Nothing of Legendary status, but still decent work. An example of great potential and improving skill, but still there is much to work on. Overall all a decent performance, OK in both quality and detail. Some major mistakes here and there, and possibly a little GM, but nothing too drastic.
    Reward for Grade: 2 Levels
  • D: Definitely a clear sign that things need to be refined. Little to no detail, and posts are short. Overall a performance with a number of obvious mistakes, and clearly shows that a bit of help is needed. GM'ing is apparent in several post here.
    No reward for this Grade
  • F: One and only true failing grade, where performance is in need of drastic improvements. Detail is or almost non-existent, and posts are borderline spam. GM'ing is frequent and over the top. Overall a performance that clearly shows that a lot of help is needed.
    No reward for this Grade
Submissions will be reviewed at the Review Team’s nearest convenience.
Last edited by XIII on Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:15 pm, edited 3 times in total. word count: 374

One who calls upon the ocean never expects the tsunami.
For beckoning the rains, also tempts the hurricane.
When simple kindling begs the wildfire,
A furious inferno to devour the lands.
And to say a prayer is to provoke the wrath of God.
Know ye not your foolishness?

Akugaranwa Itachi
Member
Kan: 316.15 
Posts: 593
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:38 pm
User Title: Black Flash

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#2

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:53 pm

although the winner is already known, I would like for this spar to be graded and points awarded

Name: Arthur Dayne and Killy Lhor
Division: 2nd nd 5th
Type: (Spar)
Link:viewtopic.php?f=239&t=586
word count: 37
For I am Supreme
User avatar
XIII
Founder
Kan: 1,357.35 
Posts: 1002
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2017 2:00 pm
User Title: [Slayer of Wretched Lions | The Unseen Deity]
Subtitle: [Sovereign]

Administrator

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#3

Post by XIII » Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:59 pm

Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:53 pm
although the winner is already known, I would like for this spar to be graded and points awarded

Name: Arthur Dayne and Killy Lhor
Division: 2nd nd 5th
Type: (Spar)
Link:viewtopic.php?f=239&t=586
For now I’ll leave it for either @PhoenixDayne and/or @Phantom-T post their reviews I had them do for this in lieu of my own full review. Should be noted in either case I hadn’t much I didn’t particularly disagree with and I did give them my own personal notes on their respective review. I could do my own (if you ask), but it could take a bit of time. •-• I’ve got 3 other matches that will need to be judged among the various other things that also need my attention. Bare with me here as I am but one man.
word count: 153

One who calls upon the ocean never expects the tsunami.
For beckoning the rains, also tempts the hurricane.
When simple kindling begs the wildfire,
A furious inferno to devour the lands.
And to say a prayer is to provoke the wrath of God.
Know ye not your foolishness?

PhoenixDayne
Kan: 146.45 
Posts: 627
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:36 am

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#4

Post by PhoenixDayne » Fri Jan 25, 2019 11:07 pm

XIII wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:59 pm


For now I’ll leave it for either @PhoenixDayne and/or @Phantom-T post their reviews I had them do for this in lieu of my own full review. Should be noted in either case I hadn’t much I didn’t particularly disagree with and I did give them my own personal notes on their respective review. I could do my own (if you ask), but it could take a bit of time. •-• I’ve got 3 other matches that will need to be judged among the various other things that also need my attention. Bare with me here as I am but one man.
I really didn't review the entire thang. Can I review from the scratch while taking heed of things you pointed out during mine?
word count: 139

Spirited away, One strides on the axis of death and alongside despair. Knowledge isn't finite, Our limit is Us.
User avatar
XIII
Founder
Kan: 1,357.35 
Posts: 1002
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2017 2:00 pm
User Title: [Slayer of Wretched Lions | The Unseen Deity]
Subtitle: [Sovereign]

Administrator

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#5

Post by XIII » Fri Jan 25, 2019 11:12 pm

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 11:07 pm
I really didn't review the entire thang. Can I review from the scratch while taking heed of things you pointed out during mine?
If it results in an even better review than the original (which was fine enough to pass overall) , then by all means please do. Need to be real careful about how much more work I take on for a solid while.
word count: 73

One who calls upon the ocean never expects the tsunami.
For beckoning the rains, also tempts the hurricane.
When simple kindling begs the wildfire,
A furious inferno to devour the lands.
And to say a prayer is to provoke the wrath of God.
Know ye not your foolishness?

User avatar
XIII
Founder
Kan: 1,357.35 
Posts: 1002
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2017 2:00 pm
User Title: [Slayer of Wretched Lions | The Unseen Deity]
Subtitle: [Sovereign]

Administrator

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#6

Post by XIII » Sat Jan 26, 2019 12:23 am

XIII wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 11:12 pm
PhoenixDayne wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 11:07 pm
I really didn't review the entire thang. Can I review from the scratch while taking heed of things you pointed out during mine?
If it results in an even better review than the original (which was fine enough to pass overall) , then by all means please do. Need to be real careful about how much more work I take on for a solid while.
Actually @PhoenixDayne and @Phantom-T hold off on posting/skiing the reviews. I’m having them carry out (at least) their round 2 as it was supposed to be intended originally. Save any input until after round 2 has completed please.
word count: 123

One who calls upon the ocean never expects the tsunami.
For beckoning the rains, also tempts the hurricane.
When simple kindling begs the wildfire,
A furious inferno to devour the lands.
And to say a prayer is to provoke the wrath of God.
Know ye not your foolishness?

User avatar
konami31
Kan: 0.00 
Posts: 483
Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:20 am
User Title: [8th's Vice Captain] Void Emperor

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#7

Post by konami31 » Wed Mar 20, 2019 7:20 am

Name: Dugu Wuque
Division:8th division
Type: Solo Training
Link: Link
word count: 11
At all eras and underneath the heavens, I'm the strongest
PhoenixDayne
Kan: 146.45 
Posts: 627
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:36 am

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#8

Post by PhoenixDayne » Wed Mar 20, 2019 2:03 pm

:arrow:
konami31 wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 7:20 am
Name: Dugu Wuque
Division:8th division
Type: Solo Training
Link: Link
I'll go through this later. It is lengthy, daym.
But any other person can do so before I take this up tho.
word count: 43

Spirited away, One strides on the axis of death and alongside despair. Knowledge isn't finite, Our limit is Us.
User avatar
Phantom-T
Kan: 589.15 
Posts: 563
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2017 2:28 am
User Title: Shadow Walker

Hall of Fame

Administrator

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#9

Post by Phantom-T » Mon Mar 25, 2019 4:23 am

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 2:03 pm
:arrow:
konami31 wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 7:20 am
Name: Dugu Wuque
Division:8th division
Type: Solo Training
Link: Link
I'll go through this later. It is lengthy, daym.
But any other person can do so before I take this up tho.
Is it still open for grabs?
word count: 58

Image
Hazuki Ryuga + Kin Ryuu || Like a shadow, I am and I am not
PhoenixDayne
Kan: 146.45 
Posts: 627
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:36 am

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#10

Post by PhoenixDayne » Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:00 am

Phantom-T wrote:
Mon Mar 25, 2019 4:23 am
PhoenixDayne wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 2:03 pm
:arrow:
konami31 wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 7:20 am
Name: Dugu Wuque
Division:8th division
Type: Solo Training
Link: Link
I'll go through this later. It is lengthy, daym.
But any other person can do so before I take this up tho.
Is it still open for grabs?
He said I shouldn't review it.
That I should leave it be for you, man.
Not my business anymore, you may have it.
word count: 92

Spirited away, One strides on the axis of death and alongside despair. Knowledge isn't finite, Our limit is Us.
User avatar
Phantom-T
Kan: 589.15 
Posts: 563
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2017 2:28 am
User Title: Shadow Walker

Hall of Fame

Administrator

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#11

Post by Phantom-T » Wed Mar 27, 2019 12:28 am

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:00 am
Phantom-T wrote:
Mon Mar 25, 2019 4:23 am
PhoenixDayne wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 2:03 pm
:arrow:

I'll go through this later. It is lengthy, daym.
But any other person can do so before I take this up tho.
Is it still open for grabs?
He said I shouldn't review it.
That I should leave it be for you, man.
Not my business anymore, you may have it.
@PhoenixDayne OK, I've got this. Thanks anyway.
@konami31, I usually handle reviews of this nature over at the weekends, so you'd have to exercise more patience with me.
Last edited by Phantom-T on Wed Mar 27, 2019 12:35 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 111

Image
Hazuki Ryuga + Kin Ryuu || Like a shadow, I am and I am not
Akugaranwa Itachi
Member
Kan: 316.15 
Posts: 593
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:38 pm
User Title: Black Flash

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#12

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Wed Apr 03, 2019 3:52 am

Coming over to Arthur Dayne


Just Like in the case of Killy there were noticeable improvement with your approach and battle tactics. You seemed to also boost up your creativity but got some facts mixed up and some played out of hand in the process.
Akugaranwa Itachi wrote: ↑”Tenbatsu.”[1] He said in such a way that it could be passed as a whisper. At the word, Arthur’s hair changed from its pure white nature to a long Jet Black hair that reached all the way to his waist, each strand of hair stood up for they were excited due to the high volume and intensity of electricity moving through his body. Arthur’s white pupil and iris turned black. The atmosphere below the black clouds kept showing flashes of lightning and thunder was clearly heard from above in the clouds.
Starting with this, Tenbatsu as I recall doesn’t give Arthur the ability to physically alter his form or appearance as the case maybe. Judging by his profile, the physical changes which manifested at the mention of tenbatsu was one meant to have occurred at the activation of your bankai a few post back and not Tenbatsu. This was a big information miss representation on your part and I suggest you take time to go through your profiles before and after your posts.
Arthur’s senses was massively improved for he had gained twice the perception Kishin already gave him when Tenbatsu became active. This was because, The Electrons in each of his cells became ten times excited than they already were with Kishin, this gave rise to his body becoming light so much so that the very air itself became denser than Arthur.
Here again, I really don’t know in full details the relationship of Tenbatsu to Kishin, but using words like “massively improved”, “twice the perception” and “ten times more excited” felt exaggerated/overplayed since it was not expressly stated in Arthurs profile to be in that form. However, this is not much of an issue since Tenbatsu does grant you some level of improved relationship with your element. I only suggest you watch out for cases like this in other not to give off the wrong idea of an ability having more power than it normally should.
Normally, the time taken to charge Tenbatsu would have been extended, however, it was so fortunate that his opponent had to be a lightning user and as such, they both contributed to heating up the atmosphere.
Here, I like the fact you pointed this out though at first I didn’t see the need to, since “Tenbatsu” as an ability was not specific on how many posts or time it took to charge up in the first place. However, knowing Tenbatsu as it is, it’s only natural there should have been one in the first place and if such was the case I suggest you make this clear (the required post count needed to activate Tenbatsu) in your post and profile for future references.
With the activation, a surge of electric current was released from his body which would spread all the way across the arena ground as the floor to which they stood would become engulfed with black electricity. Anyone standing inside the arena would instantly be electrocuted. Arthur would hover on the air as he began to rise higher so much so he was at the very top of the Coliseum and was now looking down at Killy, as the floor that Killy and his clones stood on as well as the whole floor inside the arena began to melt_and would eventually turn into lava. This occurred only because of how much intense heat his lightning in Bankai produced so much so that anyone that was hit by the wave of electricity would unavoidable be turned to ash.
So yeah, everything was nice up until the point where we got thing melting and turning into lava. Naturally I get what you were trying to drive at with lightning maintaining intense heat and all. However, causing random blasts, fire outburst would have done it. with that said, I don’t believe lightning charges maintain enough influence with the earth to melt and turn the floors to lava especially in the manner you applied them.
Akugaranwa Itachi wrote: ↑ Lightning strikes would keep coming down at his opponent as the man standing below him in his attempt to use a lightning rod to attract the lightning coming at him. Such futile move only proved the certain extent of the man’s naivety. The lightning rod the man standing below him would have no effect on Arthur’s lightning, this was because the power to control the polarity of his lightning was at Arthur’s whims and also because the lightning coming from the clouds all had Arthur’s Reiatsu in it, so much so that magnetic pole which the man had created one which Arthur was certain was not meant to be for from all he had seen from his opponent, the ability to control the magnetic properties of metal(That is the polarity) was something that differed from just creating and controlling metals. Creating metals do not necessarily mean that one would be able to whip out a magnetic pole at moments notice. And as such, Arthur’s lightning from the clouds ranged on, it came in from all parts of the arena in different direction as they, they would ignore the poles set by his opponent for the lightning was made such that it would not be attracted by his opponent’s metals. They moved to impale and properly destroy his opponent. The lightning strikes would continue to drop from the clouds continuously till Arthur decides to call them of their hunt if he so wished for it.
Okay, coming to this, I believe we are having laws mixed up somewhere, its not a necessity to explain your maneuvers with scientific theories. However in this case I believe the laws are all mumbled up somewhere.

Going by basic science, I do know that once electrical charges or ionization reaches a certain stage within the clouds, the negative electrons reach out for the earth which I believe is mostly positively charged. It is also good to know that metals, trees, people and building also release this positive energy which attracts lightning. Going by that simple fact changing the polarity of your lightning would mean generally repelling it from all positively charged particles which at the end of the day mean nullifying your own attack.

However, putting your attack in a less complicated non scientific backed up manner would have given you some desired effect you wished.


Secondly, by simply creating metal, the user of said ability does not generally need to change the polarities of his or her rod to be able to attract lightning; they are naturally good conductors and as such tend to attract bolts of lightning already directed towards its path or at a distance proportional to the size of the metal rod. From what I remember lightning generally reaches out on its own. However, as long as a metal stake has been planted within a few feet or before its intended location it quickly magnetizes to said metal, sinking its charges into it.

Some lightning bolts would strike at the pillars in the coliseum, and at the huge stones that drops upon impact. They would all emit a lightning charge current as the pillars would attempt to crumble, break and fall. This would give rise to the Coliseum itself attempting to collapse for the pillars holding it were now destroyed. Arthur would connect to the electron hovering above his opponent’s head as he would switch it with a lightning charge from the clouds, and immediately one of the pillars which had be struck with lightning now emitted an electric charge would appear above his opponents head as Arthur would attempt to drop the large pillar stone on the man’s head.

Arthur would switch an electron hovering at his opponent’s back with a lightning bolt from the clouds as he had already connected himself to it and he would immediately switch places with the lightning bolt to appear behind his opponent while the lightning bolt would be seen where the tall man once floated. Appearing at a speed faster than his hoho which was very much what Teleportation was, Arthur whipped his hand with all his might in an attempt to impale his fist which was coated with the condensed electricity generated by Kishin and also having a metal gauntlet at lightning speed. If contact was made, then his opponent’s spinal cord would be shattered thus rendering him immobile. His movement, his Teleportation, Electrotransporation, was as a result of Tenbatsu which converted Arthur’s space/environment to a superior spatial space/environment that Arthur was one with.
Okay, I don't remember seeing matter switching or replacement in your ability description. I don't really get the mechanism behind this switch and the limitations or range of influence. Please en-devour to stick to the scope of your abilities which can be easily understood from its description.


Wait a minute, Teleportation? at a speed faster than your shunpo?, again I must say i didn't see this coming either, Tenbatsu does grant you a lot, However the blueprint on how this ability works is also missing in the description. I suggest you retreat from applying this in battle till its slightly hinted within your ability description.
This actually irks me this is because It is boldly written in the ability description....check below.





Tenbatsu(Heaven's Wrath): If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time, which varies according to the level of use, the formation of clouds in his vicinity stabilizes and every free particles below the black clouds become eventually charged such that he has complete dominion over their polarities allowing him Tenbatsu. This allows him to generate electric energy from thin air, effectively converting the space around him into superior spatial version of his body; an enormous reservoir of electricity that he is one with and governs.


1) I think I have explained this before during the first time I submitted this ability for review. I said

When the Formation of the clouds in Arthur’s Vicinty Stabilizies, He gains Dominion that is total control over every polarity below the black clouds. By Domion it means total and complete control over the said particles and their polarities. This means Just as it will take for Arthur to move an electron from his head to the sole of his feet, from his right hand to his left hands that is how it is easy for him to move one electron from point A-to point B.


2) I also stated when asked that Arthur is also considered a charged particle....please check the Blue highlighted words. Arthur is One with Electricity this means that he is also considered a Charge particle in this aspect.


3) The bolder part states Effectively converting the space around him into a spatial version of himself This means that Athur has the ability to teleport himself by changing places between electrons around his vicinity. Seeing as he can move the charged electrons and he has control over them and himself.... it takes no effort to move one electron and another and thus he can easily switch places with an electron particle.


Changing places with an electron is very difficult which is why, in my post, Arthur first had to create a lightning charge at point B, switch location of an electron in point A with the lightning Charge, the lightning charge appears at Point A while the Electron appears at point B and Since Arthur is also a Charge particle he can then switch places with the Lightning Charge at point A thus appearing at point A.



So please Tell me, how is it not written in Tenbatsu ability that Arthur can’t Teleport from the above Explaination.


Everything is stated there. Everything I did in that post is stated in that ability clear so what else do you want from me? Shinoda who reviewed and approved it and Kira to whom I showed this ability to understood all its workings at first glance because everything was very clear.


Here again, I really don’t know in full details the relationship of Tenbatsu to Kishin, but using words like “massively improved”, “twice the perception” and “ten times more excited” felt exaggerated/overplayed since it was not expressly stated in Arthurs profile to be in that form. However, this is not much of an issue since Tenbatsu does grant you some level of improved relationship with your element.


I specifically designed Tenbatsu to be connected to everything in my Zan....Hence Kishin and Tenbatsu are connect since In Tenbatsu Arthur is one with electricity.
Last edited by Akugaranwa Itachi on Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:04 am, edited 2 times in total. word count: 2164
For I am Supreme
User avatar
Phantom-T
Kan: 589.15 
Posts: 563
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2017 2:28 am
User Title: Shadow Walker

Hall of Fame

Administrator

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#13

Post by Phantom-T » Wed Apr 03, 2019 2:58 pm

Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 3:52 am
Coming over to Arthur Dayne


Just Like in the case of Killy there were noticeable improvement with your approach and battle tactics. You seemed to also boost up your creativity but got some facts mixed up and some played out of hand in the process.

Akugaranwa Itachi wrote: ↑”Tenbatsu.”[1] He said in such a way that it could be passed as a whisper. At the word, Arthur’s hair changed from its pure white nature to a long Jet Black hair that reached all the way to his waist, each strand of hair stood up for they were excited due to the high volume and intensity of electricity moving through his body. Arthur’s white pupil and iris turned black. The atmosphere below the black clouds kept showing flashes of lightning and thunder was clearly heard from above in the clouds.
Starting with this, Tenbatsu as I recall doesn’t give Arthur the ability to physically alter his form or appearance as the case maybe. Judging by his profile, the physical changes which manifested at the mention of tenbatsu was one meant to have occurred at the activation of your bankai a few post back and not Tenbatsu. This was a big information miss representation on your part and I suggest you take time to go through your profiles before and after your posts.
Arthur’s senses was massively improved for he had gained twice the perception Kishin already gave him when Tenbatsu became active. This was because, The Electrons in each of his cells became ten times excited than they already were with Kishin, this gave rise to his body becoming light so much so that the very air itself became denser than Arthur.
Here again, I really don’t know in full details the relationship of Tenbatsu to Kishin, but using words like “massively improved”, “twice the perception” and “ten times more excited” felt exaggerated/overplayed since it was not expressly stated in Arthurs profile to be in that form. However, this is not much of an issue since Tenbatsu does grant you some level of improved relationship with your element. I only suggest you watch out for cases like this in other not to give off the wrong idea of an ability having more power than it normally should.
Normally, the time taken to charge Tenbatsu would have been extended, however, it was so fortunate that his opponent had to be a lightning user and as such, they both contributed to heating up the atmosphere.
Here, I like the fact you pointed this out though at first I didn’t see the need to, since “Tenbatsu” as an ability was not specific on how many posts or time it took to charge up in the first place. However, knowing Tenbatsu as it is, it’s only natural there should have been one in the first place and if such was the case I suggest you make this clear (the required post count needed to activate Tenbatsu) in your post and profile for future references.

With the activation, a surge of electric current was released from his body which would spread all the way across the arena ground as the floor to which they stood would become engulfed with black electricity. Anyone standing inside the arena would instantly be electrocuted. Arthur would hover on the air as he began to rise higher so much so he was at the very top of the Coliseum and was now looking down at Killy, as the floor that Killy and his clones stood on as well as the whole floor inside the arena began to melt_and would eventually turn into lava. This occurred only because of how much intense heat his lightning in Bankai produced so much so that anyone that was hit by the wave of electricity would unavoidable be turned to ash.
So yeah, everything was nice up until the point where we got thing melting and turning into lava. Naturally I get what you were trying to drive at with lightning maintaining intense heat and all. However, causing random blasts, fire outburst would have done it. with that said, I don’t believe lightning charges maintain enough influence with the earth to melt and turn the floors to lava especially in the manner you applied them.


Akugaranwa Itachi wrote: ↑ Lightning strikes would keep coming down at his opponent as the man standing below him in his attempt to use a lightning rod to attract the lightning coming at him. Such futile move only proved the certain extent of the man’s naivety. The lightning rod the man standing below him would have no effect on Arthur’s lightning, this was because the power to control the polarity of his lightning was at Arthur’s whims and also because the lightning coming from the clouds all had Arthur’s Reiatsu in it, so much so that magnetic pole which the man had created one which Arthur was certain was not meant to be for from all he had seen from his opponent, the ability to control the magnetic properties of metal(That is the polarity) was something that differed from just creating and controlling metals. Creating metals do not necessarily mean that one would be able to whip out a magnetic pole at moments notice. And as such, Arthur’s lightning from the clouds ranged on, it came in from all parts of the arena in different direction as they, they would ignore the poles set by his opponent for the lightning was made such that it would not be attracted by his opponent’s metals. They moved to impale and properly destroy his opponent. The lightning strikes would continue to drop from the clouds continuously till Arthur decides to call them of their hunt if he so wished for it.
Okay, coming to this, I believe we are having laws mixed up somewhere, its not a necessity to explain your maneuvers with scientific theories. However in this case I believe the laws are all mumbled up somewhere.

Going by basic science, I do know that once electrical charges or ionization reaches a certain stage within the clouds, the negative electrons reach out for the earth which I believe is mostly positively charged. It is also good to know that metals, trees, people and building also release this positive energy which attracts lightning. Going by that simple fact changing the polarity of your lightning would mean generally repelling it from all positively charged particles which at the end of the day mean nullifying your own attack.

However, putting your attack in a less complicated non scientific backed up manner would have given you some desired effect you wished.

Secondly, by simply creating metal, the user of said ability does not generally need to change the polarities of his or her rod to be able to attract lightning; they are naturally good conductors and as such tend to attract bolts of lightning already directed towards its path or at a distance proportional to the size of the metal rod. From what I remember lightning generally reaches out on its own. However, as long as a metal stake has been planted within a few feet or before its intended location it quickly magnetizes to said metal, sinking its charges into it.
Some lightning bolts would strike at the pillars in the coliseum, and at the huge stones that drops upon impact. They would all emit a lightning charge current as the pillars would attempt to crumble, break and fall. This would give rise to the Coliseum itself attempting to collapse for the pillars holding it were now destroyed. Arthur would connect to the electron hovering above his opponent’s head as he would switch it with a lightning charge from the clouds, and immediately one of the pillars which had be struck with lightning now emitted an electric charge would appear above his opponents head as Arthur would attempt to drop the large pillar stone on the man’s head.

Arthur would switch an electron hovering at his opponent’s back with a lightning bolt from the clouds as he had already connected himself to it and he would immediately switch places with the lightning bolt to appear behind his opponent while the lightning bolt would be seen where the tall man once floated. Appearing at a speed faster than his hoho which was very much what Teleportation was, Arthur whipped his hand with all his might in an attempt to impale his fist which was coated with the condensed electricity generated by Kishin and also having a metal gauntlet at lightning speed. If contact was made, then his opponent’s spinal cord would be shattered thus rendering him immobile. His movement, his Teleportation, Electrotransporation, was as a result of Tenbatsu which converted Arthur’s space/environment to a superior spatial space/environment that Arthur was one with.
Okay, I don't remember seeing matter switching or replacement in your ability description. I don't really get the mechanism behind this switch and the limitations or range of influence. Please en-devour to stick to the scope of your abilities which can be easily understood from its description.

Wait a minute, Teleportation? at a speed faster than your shunpo?, again I must say i didn't see this coming either, Tenbatsu does grant you a lot, However the blueprint on how this ability works is also missing in the description. I suggest you retreat from applying this in battle till its slightly hinted within your ability description.
This actually irks me this is because It is boldly written in the ability description....check below.





Tenbatsu(Heaven's Wrath): If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time, which varies according to the level of use, the formation of clouds in his vicinity stabilizes and every free particles below the black clouds become eventually charged such that he has complete dominion over their polarities allowing him Tenbatsu. This allows him to generate electric energy from thin air, effectively converting the space around him into superior spatial version of his body; an enormous reservoir of electricity that he is one with and governs.
Ok, All I can see here is a general overview which doesn't really hint on any ability. IT'S an open book to claim whatever comes to mind which I must say is not proper. I may be wrong and there might be a working principal, with various limitations, forgone alternatives and ability ranges based on various skills possessed. But as it is here or as you have stated from your ability profile, this is generally saying "I can use lightning or electrons anyway I see fit because I am a charged particle".

1) I think I have explained this before during the first time I submitted this ability for review. I said

When the Formation of the clouds in Arthur’s Vicinty Stabilizies, He gains Dominion that is total control over every polarity below the black clouds. By Domion it means total and complete control over the said particles and their polarities. This means Just as it will take for Arthur to move an electron from his head to the sole of his feet, from his right hand to his left hands that is how it is easy for him to move one electron from point A-to point B.
SO let me get this straight are you trying to say all you can do with this ability is teleport from point A to B?

If so at what range is B too far a position to move to?
2) I also stated when asked that Arthur is also considered a charged particle....please check the Blue highlighted words. Arthur is One with Electricity this means that he is also considered a Charge particle in this aspect.
Okay going by what I've seen so far I already have a lot of questions but I will mention a few.

What does being a charged particle really mean to you?
Do you sink into a metal rod when stabbed with one?
Can you in effect claim permeability or omnipresence based on your newly gained properties?
How does being a charged particle encourage teleportation?


3) The bolder part states Effectively converting the space around him into a spatial version of himself This means that Athur has the ability to teleport himself by changing places between electrons around his vicinity. Seeing as he can move the charged electrons and he has control over them and himself.... it takes no effort to move one electron and another and thus he can easily switch places with an electron particle.
So how long does it take you to charge up this enviroment and at what Reiatsu cost?

Does this mean you switch place with sentient beings since they too exist within your spatial zone?
Changing places with an electron is very difficult which is why, in my post, Arthur first had to create a lightning charge at point B, switch location of an electron in point A with the lightning Charge, the lightning charge appears at Point A while the Electron appears at point B and Since Arthur is also a Charge particle he can then switch places with the Lightning Charge at point A thus appearing at point A.
Had you stated this mechanism on your ability description with a possible range, speed of transition and any other condition which might have been proposed by the reviewer. The ability "Teleportation" would not have been one so easily mistaken for another when reviews are being conducted.

As it stands I don't know how possible that mechanism is but it seems doable. However without much light on it the use of it would always end up with you holding the shorter end of the straw in a spar situation.

So please Tell me, how is it not written in Tenbatsu ability that Arthur can’t Teleport from the above Explaination.
The explanations you've stated so far are complete work of art embedded within your thought. I could find none of this within the ability description both quoted here and within your personal profile. Always endeavour to update them if approved by a zanpaktou review mod cause a spar reviewer does not exist within your thought and would always go by what he sees and understands.

Therefore in this case just saying your enviroment is electrically charged while you are a reservoir is not enough to grant you Teleportation.
Everything is stated there. Everything I did in that post is stated in that ability clear so what else do you want from me? Shinoda who reviewed and approved it and Kira to whom I showed this ability to understood all its workings at first glance because everything was very clear.
Sorry to say this but your definition of clear eludes me. If you have a look and the ability concept quoted below. You would spot without doubt the capabilities and limitations of the named ability. What the user can or cannot do and at what point his reach can extend to.
Wrathful Oath
Using her particle control ability Kara is able to kinetically charge solid objects by accelerating their particles, effectively energizing them. This allows her to create explosions, even out of thin air.

To create explosions, objects must be charged up a hundred percent, which drains 3.0% of Kara's energy for solid objects of mass equal to her own; the explosive energy released (for objects of mass equal to Kara's) is the equivalent of a full-powered Shakkaho/Red Fire Cannon Hadou. Objects will explode once Kara releases her telekinetic hold on them, allowing her to fire off charged objects at opponents. Kara's explosions are accompanied by bright flashes, force and heat waves and loud bangs- like every other explosion.

Like transmutation, kinetic charging takes 20 seconds (10 seconds where there is physical contact) for objects of a mass equal to Kara's. A less than hundred percent charge on an object typically results in intense combustion, rather than an explosion i.e. really hot flames, for combustible objects.

Wrathful Oath shares the same range of effect, and range consequences, as Kara's base particule manipulation ability, Sovereign.
Follow that example and you would have more than a few people understanding you.


Here again, I really don’t know in full details the relationship of Tenbatsu to Kishin, but using words like “massively improved”, “twice the perception” and “ten times more excited” felt exaggerated/overplayed since it was not expressly stated in Arthurs profile to be in that form. However, this is not much of an issue since Tenbatsu does grant you some level of improved relationship with your element.


I specifically designed Tenbatsu to be connected to everything in my Zan....Hence Kishin and Tenbatsu are connect since In Tenbatsu Arthur is one with electricity.
Like I said I have no major issue with this, as I am well aware abilities can relate with each other.
Last edited by Phantom-T on Wed Apr 03, 2019 3:14 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 2862

Image
Hazuki Ryuga + Kin Ryuu || Like a shadow, I am and I am not
Akugaranwa Itachi
Member
Kan: 316.15 
Posts: 593
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:38 pm
User Title: Black Flash

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#14

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Wed Apr 03, 2019 3:58 pm

Phantom-T wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 2:58 pm
Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 3:52 am
Coming over to Arthur Dayne


Just Like in the case of Killy there were noticeable improvement with your approach and battle tactics. You seemed to also boost up your creativity but got some facts mixed up and some played out of hand in the process.

Akugaranwa Itachi wrote: ↑”Tenbatsu.”[1] He said in such a way that it could be passed as a whisper. At the word, Arthur’s hair changed from its pure white nature to a long Jet Black hair that reached all the way to his waist, each strand of hair stood up for they were excited due to the high volume and intensity of electricity moving through his body. Arthur’s white pupil and iris turned black. The atmosphere below the black clouds kept showing flashes of lightning and thunder was clearly heard from above in the clouds.
Starting with this, Tenbatsu as I recall doesn’t give Arthur the ability to physically alter his form or appearance as the case maybe. Judging by his profile, the physical changes which manifested at the mention of tenbatsu was one meant to have occurred at the activation of your bankai a few post back and not Tenbatsu. This was a big information miss representation on your part and I suggest you take time to go through your profiles before and after your posts.
Arthur’s senses was massively improved for he had gained twice the perception Kishin already gave him when Tenbatsu became active. This was because, The Electrons in each of his cells became ten times excited than they already were with Kishin, this gave rise to his body becoming light so much so that the very air itself became denser than Arthur.
Here again, I really don’t know in full details the relationship of Tenbatsu to Kishin, but using words like “massively improved”, “twice the perception” and “ten times more excited” felt exaggerated/overplayed since it was not expressly stated in Arthurs profile to be in that form. However, this is not much of an issue since Tenbatsu does grant you some level of improved relationship with your element. I only suggest you watch out for cases like this in other not to give off the wrong idea of an ability having more power than it normally should.
Normally, the time taken to charge Tenbatsu would have been extended, however, it was so fortunate that his opponent had to be a lightning user and as such, they both contributed to heating up the atmosphere.
Here, I like the fact you pointed this out though at first I didn’t see the need to, since “Tenbatsu” as an ability was not specific on how many posts or time it took to charge up in the first place. However, knowing Tenbatsu as it is, it’s only natural there should have been one in the first place and if such was the case I suggest you make this clear (the required post count needed to activate Tenbatsu) in your post and profile for future references.

With the activation, a surge of electric current was released from his body which would spread all the way across the arena ground as the floor to which they stood would become engulfed with black electricity. Anyone standing inside the arena would instantly be electrocuted. Arthur would hover on the air as he began to rise higher so much so he was at the very top of the Coliseum and was now looking down at Killy, as the floor that Killy and his clones stood on as well as the whole floor inside the arena began to melt_and would eventually turn into lava. This occurred only because of how much intense heat his lightning in Bankai produced so much so that anyone that was hit by the wave of electricity would unavoidable be turned to ash.
So yeah, everything was nice up until the point where we got thing melting and turning into lava. Naturally I get what you were trying to drive at with lightning maintaining intense heat and all. However, causing random blasts, fire outburst would have done it. with that said, I don’t believe lightning charges maintain enough influence with the earth to melt and turn the floors to lava especially in the manner you applied them.


Akugaranwa Itachi wrote: ↑ Lightning strikes would keep coming down at his opponent as the man standing below him in his attempt to use a lightning rod to attract the lightning coming at him. Such futile move only proved the certain extent of the man’s naivety. The lightning rod the man standing below him would have no effect on Arthur’s lightning, this was because the power to control the polarity of his lightning was at Arthur’s whims and also because the lightning coming from the clouds all had Arthur’s Reiatsu in it, so much so that magnetic pole which the man had created one which Arthur was certain was not meant to be for from all he had seen from his opponent, the ability to control the magnetic properties of metal(That is the polarity) was something that differed from just creating and controlling metals. Creating metals do not necessarily mean that one would be able to whip out a magnetic pole at moments notice. And as such, Arthur’s lightning from the clouds ranged on, it came in from all parts of the arena in different direction as they, they would ignore the poles set by his opponent for the lightning was made such that it would not be attracted by his opponent’s metals. They moved to impale and properly destroy his opponent. The lightning strikes would continue to drop from the clouds continuously till Arthur decides to call them of their hunt if he so wished for it.
Okay, coming to this, I believe we are having laws mixed up somewhere, its not a necessity to explain your maneuvers with scientific theories. However in this case I believe the laws are all mumbled up somewhere.

Going by basic science, I do know that once electrical charges or ionization reaches a certain stage within the clouds, the negative electrons reach out for the earth which I believe is mostly positively charged. It is also good to know that metals, trees, people and building also release this positive energy which attracts lightning. Going by that simple fact changing the polarity of your lightning would mean generally repelling it from all positively charged particles which at the end of the day mean nullifying your own attack.

However, putting your attack in a less complicated non scientific backed up manner would have given you some desired effect you wished.

Secondly, by simply creating metal, the user of said ability does not generally need to change the polarities of his or her rod to be able to attract lightning; they are naturally good conductors and as such tend to attract bolts of lightning already directed towards its path or at a distance proportional to the size of the metal rod. From what I remember lightning generally reaches out on its own. However, as long as a metal stake has been planted within a few feet or before its intended location it quickly magnetizes to said metal, sinking its charges into it.
Some lightning bolts would strike at the pillars in the coliseum, and at the huge stones that drops upon impact. They would all emit a lightning charge current as the pillars would attempt to crumble, break and fall. This would give rise to the Coliseum itself attempting to collapse for the pillars holding it were now destroyed. Arthur would connect to the electron hovering above his opponent’s head as he would switch it with a lightning charge from the clouds, and immediately one of the pillars which had be struck with lightning now emitted an electric charge would appear above his opponents head as Arthur would attempt to drop the large pillar stone on the man’s head.

Arthur would switch an electron hovering at his opponent’s back with a lightning bolt from the clouds as he had already connected himself to it and he would immediately switch places with the lightning bolt to appear behind his opponent while the lightning bolt would be seen where the tall man once floated. Appearing at a speed faster than his hoho which was very much what Teleportation was, Arthur whipped his hand with all his might in an attempt to impale his fist which was coated with the condensed electricity generated by Kishin and also having a metal gauntlet at lightning speed. If contact was made, then his opponent’s spinal cord would be shattered thus rendering him immobile. His movement, his Teleportation, Electrotransporation, was as a result of Tenbatsu which converted Arthur’s space/environment to a superior spatial space/environment that Arthur was one with.
Okay, I don't remember seeing matter switching or replacement in your ability description. I don't really get the mechanism behind this switch and the limitations or range of influence. Please en-devour to stick to the scope of your abilities which can be easily understood from its description.

Wait a minute, Teleportation? at a speed faster than your shunpo?, again I must say i didn't see this coming either, Tenbatsu does grant you a lot, However the blueprint on how this ability works is also missing in the description. I suggest you retreat from applying this in battle till its slightly hinted within your ability description.
This actually irks me this is because It is boldly written in the ability description....check below.





Tenbatsu(Heaven's Wrath): If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time, which varies according to the level of use, the formation of clouds in his vicinity stabilizes and every free particles below the black clouds become eventually charged such that he has complete dominion over their polarities allowing him Tenbatsu. This allows him to generate electric energy from thin air, effectively converting the space around him into superior spatial version of his body; an enormous reservoir of electricity that he is one with and governs.
Ok, All I can see here is a general overview which doesn't really hint on any ability. IT'S an open book to claim whatever comes to mind which I must say is not proper. I may be wrong and there might be a working principal, with various limitations, forgone alternatives and ability ranges based on various skills possessed. But as it is here or as you have stated from your ability profile, this is generally saying "I can use lightning anyway I see fit because I am a charged particle".

1) I think I have explained this before during the first time I submitted this ability for review. I said

When the Formation of the clouds in Arthur’s Vicinty Stabilizies, He gains Dominion that is total control over every polarity below the black clouds. By Domion it means total and complete control over the said particles and their polarities. This means Just as it will take for Arthur to move an electron from his head to the sole of his feet, from his right hand to his left hands that is how it is easy for him to move one electron from point A-to point B.
SO let me get this straight are you trying to say all you can do with this ability is teleport from point A to B?

2) I also stated when asked that Arthur is also considered a charged particle....please check the Blue highlighted words. Arthur is One with Electricity this means that he is also considered a Charge particle in this aspect.
Okay going by what I've seen so far I already have a lot of questions but I will mention a few.

What does being a charged particle really mean?
Do you sink into a lightning rod when stabbed with one?
Can you in effect claim permeability or omnipresence based on your newly gained properties?
How does being a charged particle encourage teleportation?


3) The bolder part states Effectively converting the space around him into a spatial version of himself This means that Athur has the ability to teleport himself by changing places between electrons around his vicinity. Seeing as he can move the charged electrons and he has control over them and himself.... it takes no effort to move one electron and another and thus he can easily switch places with an electron particle.
So how long does it take you to charge up this enviroment and at what Reiatsu cost?

Does this mean you switch place with sentient beings since they too exist with within your spatial zone?
Changing places with an electron is very difficult which is why, in my post, Arthur first had to create a lightning charge at point B, switch location of an electron in point A with the lightning Charge, the lightning charge appears at Point A while the Electron appears at point B and Since Arthur is also a Charge particle he can then switch places with the Lightning Charge at point A thus appearing at point A.
Had you stated this mechanism on your ability description with a possible range, speed of transition and any other condition which might have been proposed by the reviewer. The ability "Teleportation" would not have been one so easily mistaken for another when reviews are being conducted.

As it stands I don't know how possible that mechanism is but it seems doable. However without much light on it the use of it would always end up with you holding the shorter end of the straw in a spar situation.

So please Tell me, how is it not written in Tenbatsu ability that Arthur can’t Teleport from the above Explaination.
The explanations you've stated so far are complete work of art embedded within your thought. I could find none of this within the ability description both quoted here and within your personal profile. Always endeavour to update them if approved by a zanpaktou review mod cause a soar reviewer does not exist within your thought and would always go by what he sees and understands.

Therefore in this case just saying your enviroment is electrically charged while you are a reservoir is not enough to grant you Teleportation.
Everything is stated there. Everything I did in that post is stated in that ability clear so what else do you want from me? Shinoda who reviewed and approved it and Kira to whom I showed this ability to understood all its workings at first glance because everything was very clear.
Sorry to say this but your definition of clear eludes me. If you have a look and the ability concept quoted below. You would spot without doubt the capabilities and limitations of the named ability. What the user can or cannot do and at what point his reach can extend to.
Wrathful Oath
Using her particle control ability Kara is able to kinetically charge solid objects by accelerating their particles, effectively energizing them. This allows her to create explosions, even out of thin air.

To create explosions, objects must be charged up a hundred percent, which drains 3.0% of Kara's energy for solid objects of mass equal to her own; the explosive energy released (for objects of mass equal to Kara's) is the equivalent of a full-powered Shakkaho/Red Fire Cannon Hadou. Objects will explode once Kara releases her telekinetic hold on them, allowing her to fire off charged objects at opponents. Kara's explosions are accompanied by bright flashes, force and heat waves and loud bangs- like every other explosion.

Like transmutation, kinetic charging takes 20 seconds (10 seconds where there is physical contact) for objects of a mass equal to Kara's. A less than hundred percent charge on an object typically results in intense combustion, rather than an explosion i.e. really hot flames, for combustible objects.

Wrathful Oath shares the same range of effect, and range consequences, as Kara's base particule manipulation ability, Sovereign.
Follow that example and you would have more than a few people understanding you.


Here again, I really don’t know in full details the relationship of Tenbatsu to Kishin, but using words like “massively improved”, “twice the perception” and “ten times more excited” felt exaggerated/overplayed since it was not expressly stated in Arthurs profile to be in that form. However, this is not much of an issue since Tenbatsu does grant you some level of improved relationship with your element.


I specifically designed Tenbatsu to be connected to everything in my Zan....Hence Kishin and Tenbatsu are connect since In Tenbatsu Arthur is one with electricity.
Like I said I have no major issue with this, as I am well aware abilities can relate with each other.
[/quote]


Ok, All I can see here is a general overview which doesn't really hint on any ability. IT'S an open book to claim whatever comes to mind which I must say is not proper. I may be wrong and there might be a working principal, with various limitations, forgone alternatives and ability ranges based on various skills possessed. But as it is here or as you have stated from your ability profile, this is generally saying "I can use lightning anyway I see fit because I am a charged particle".

Forgive me but if you cannot seem to understand explaination of 1 Above then there is no need for me to stress myself on this. It is obvious to me right now that you just want to claim that you did not see the explaination. Because if you did, you would Understand what the word Spatial Version of himself refers to in this case.

Let it be known now that I am in by no means claiming anything. Exactly what my ability states is how I employ it. I created it, hence I know how it works and it’s working best.

So how long does it take you to charge up this enviroment and at what Reiatsu cost?
Again I would prefer you head to the Zan workshop to see where I answered this Question when Shinoda asked. However, I will say it here once more.

From the moment My Bankai is activated, 40% of my Reiatsu is given off for just charging Tenbatsu, which is why once it’s done and I start using it it appears as though I don’t use up Reiatsu. To mitigate this painful draw back, I had to invest a lot in Reiatsu.

It’s Charge time, Phantom-T can you honestly say I haven’t told you this before? Lol i’ll Say this again. It take a Charge time of about 12post. The reason I didn’t add this in the description was for security reasons. If my opponents know it take 12posts Charge before I can use Tenbatsu what do you think will happen? They would try to end me before the time runs out.

What does being a charged particle really mean?
Do you sink into a lightning rod when stabbed with one?
Can you in effect claim permeability or omnipresence based on your newly gained properties?
How does being a charged particle encourage teleportation?
Please am gonna have to refer you to my first post. My explaination is there.

Let it be known that Arthur is by no way Permeable. Being one with Electricity does not mean he has to be the Element Electricity itself. Being one with your sword means your sword is like your second hand and legs. That kind of thing. I don’t know what is so hard to get there?


How does being a particle encourage Teleportation? Please I am gonna have to refer you to 1 of my first post. I already described and answered that question. I don’t know if you read it or skipped it. If you didn’t please go through it again. And again Please stop OVERLOOKING THE WORD SPATIAL VERSION OF HIMSELF. The word SPATIAL is enough to give off What it means.


By being a charged particle, he is able to connect to the electric field of an Electron or lightning charge hence THE SPATIAL MOVEMENT TAKES PLACE. FLying Thunder god is a spatial ability, Sasuke’s reningan is a spatial ability.....should I list more?

Therefore in this case just saying your enviroment is electrically charged while you are a reservoir is not enough to grant you Teleportation.
An Enormous reservoir of Electricity which he governs and he is one with

I am certain you saw this in the ability description....so how on earth is my reservoir not enough??? Very funny.

SO let me get this straight are you trying to say all you can do with this ability is teleport from point A to B?
My God are you feigning ignorance or is it that you just turning a blind eye to what is written?


Teleportation is not the only thing I can do with it. The reason for this debate was because whomever reviewed this claimed that I did something that was not in my ability description....this is only to correct that notion.


You asked what being a Charged particle means right? Lmao by having total dominion over elections and their polarities, It is no feat for Me to create lightning from tin air, freeze lightning(Not using ice, just saying cause I am gonna assume that is what you are gonna think.....considering the things I have seen so far) Take it more like suspending a flash of lightning in the clouds. Rain down lightning from the clouds and so on. By being a charged particle it is easy to connect myself to the electric field of a lightning and electron....thus the total control occurs.

Does this mean you switch place with sentient beings since they too exist with within your spatial zone?
No, if it did it would be stated.
Had you stated this mechanism on your ability description with a possible range, speed of transition and any other condition which might have been proposed by the reviewer. The ability "Teleportation" would not have been one so easily mistaken for another when reviews are being conducted.

The range is already stated. The formation of the clouds below his vicinity stabilizes and every particles below the black clouds becomes eventually charged Thus allowing Tenbatsu


This already speaks of the range. If I am to go by numbers it should cover 100meters


The explanations you've stated so far are complete work of art embedded within your thought. I could find none of this within the ability description both quoted here and within your personal profile. Always endeavour to update them if approved by a zanpaktou review mod cause a soar reviewer does not exist within your thought and would always go by what he sees and understands.

It is funny but everything I have said is what is written. If you cannot find it then the fault lies with you not me. Because I have names two people already who have seen what you did not see. Lol

Follow that example and you would have more than a few people understanding you.
Thank you but i’m Good. If you cannot get it. Then I will make sure to find someone who gets it to review any spar I take. Starting with @Kira and @Shinoda
Last edited by Akugaranwa Itachi on Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:02 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 3966
For I am Supreme
PhoenixDayne
Kan: 146.45 
Posts: 627
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:36 am

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#15

Post by PhoenixDayne » Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:14 pm

I'd have called XII into this but he has too much on his plate right now.
Tagging a non-manager/mod is strictly frowned upon. As such, I'd need you to clear off Kira's name.
Shinoda, whom isn't available rn, cannot review.
That leaves the option of Fluxarc or I.

But before I call for Fluxarc, I'd need to say this again.

Don't... I repeat, don't omit anything; which you did by omitting the 12posts limit.
Ooc information cannot be used IC, as such, your basis of anyone ending you before the 12posts[Which is obviously much] reaches, your goal should've been achieved. And I believe, when tenbatsu is active, you have the upper hand, meaning, they'd try to outlast you.

Again, Shinoda may or may not have noticed.
But indirectly, you're multi-adding to an ability with the "obscure" descriptions.
Something I frowned upon but obviously, I was painted black.

Again, I'd or Fluxarc would need to review this ability of yours.
I knew it'd cause problems seeing how unclear it is.


Hold on, I'm coming.


Edits.


What?
You need 12posts for tenbatsu to be activated?
And it was activated within how many posts?
Last edited by PhoenixDayne on Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:17 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 208

Spirited away, One strides on the axis of death and alongside despair. Knowledge isn't finite, Our limit is Us.
PhoenixDayne
Kan: 146.45 
Posts: 627
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:36 am

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#16

Post by PhoenixDayne » Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:27 pm

Tenbatsu(Heaven's Wrath): If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time, which varies according to the level of use, the formation of clouds in his vicinity stabilizes and every free particles below the black clouds become eventually charged such that he has complete dominion over their polarities allowing him Tenbatsu. This allows him to generate electric energy from thin air, effectively converting the space around him into superior spatial version of his body; an enormous reservoir of electricity that he is one with and governs.
According to your description;
There is basically no charge time and there's no elaboration of what you exactly mean as superior spatial version of yourself. Here's becoming rowdy.
I can't even visualize feats you can perform with this; it basically speaks nothing.

Kishin(demon god): This ability converts all of Arthur’s body into a store of massive volume of highly condensed lightning energy that appears constant in a cloaked form on his person, Increasing his manipulation of lightning to vast lengths. A side effect is the even more excited state of his body cells at their most basic level, causing further increase to his innate speed and reflexes to be awakened in him. With this ability, he can channel and concentrate large of said energy into any part of his body or objects he is in contact with, either for defensive or offensive purposes, and it includes been able to fire off amounts and superior interactions with external electric fields, the conveyance extends to great distances.


While I don't even know which that grants you teleportation; I don't even know where it was stated.
The range even.




I'd love if you'd explain everything you mean here.
word count: 293

Spirited away, One strides on the axis of death and alongside despair. Knowledge isn't finite, Our limit is Us.
Akugaranwa Itachi
Member
Kan: 316.15 
Posts: 593
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:38 pm
User Title: Black Flash

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#17

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:30 pm

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:14 pm
I'd have called XII into this but he has too much on his plate right now.
Tagging a non-manager/mod is strictly frowned upon. As such, I'd need you to clear off Kira's name.
Shinoda, whom isn't available rn, cannot review.
That leaves the option of Fluxarc or I.

But before I call for Fluxarc, I'd need to say this again.

Don't... I repeat, don't omit anything; which you did by omitting the 12posts limit.
Ooc information cannot be used IC, as such, your basis of anyone ending you before the 12posts[Which is obviously much] reaches, your goal should've been achieved. And I believe, when tenbatsu is active, you have the upper hand, meaning, they'd try to outlast you.

Again, Shinoda may or may not have noticed.
But indirectly, you're multi-adding to an ability with the "obscure" descriptions.
Something I frowned upon but obviously, I was painted black.

Again, I'd or Fluxarc would need to review this ability of yours.
I knew it'd cause problems seeing how unclear it is.


Hold on, I'm coming.


Edits.


What?
You need 12posts for tenbatsu to be activated?
And it was activated within how many posts?

Dude did you read that spar? If you did then you would have seen where i states that the reason for the short charge was because Aegis and I were both using lightning, which speed up the heating of the atmosphere..... If I was faced with a non lightning user like I did with Konami....I would not use Tenbatsu so fast. Did I use it? No....


You saw that right??? If you didn’t then it’s not my fault.
word count: 298
For I am Supreme
Akugaranwa Itachi
Member
Kan: 316.15 
Posts: 593
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:38 pm
User Title: Black Flash

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#18

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:34 pm

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:27 pm
Tenbatsu(Heaven's Wrath): If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time, which varies according to the level of use, the formation of clouds in his vicinity stabilizes and every free particles below the black clouds become eventually charged such that he has complete dominion over their polarities allowing him Tenbatsu. This allows him to generate electric energy from thin air, effectively converting the space around him into superior spatial version of his body; an enormous reservoir of electricity that he is one with and governs.
According to your description;
There is basically no charge time and there's no elaboration of what you exactly mean as superior spatial version of yourself. Here's becoming rowdy.
I can't even visualize feats you can perform with this; it basically speaks nothing.

Kishin(demon god): This ability converts all of Arthur’s body into a store of massive volume of highly condensed lightning energy that appears constant in a cloaked form on his person, Increasing his manipulation of lightning to vast lengths. A side effect is the even more excited state of his body cells at their most basic level, causing further increase to his innate speed and reflexes to be awakened in him. With this ability, he can channel and concentrate large of said energy into any part of his body or objects he is in contact with, either for defensive or offensive purposes, and it includes been able to fire off amounts and superior interactions with external electric fields, the conveyance extends to great distances.


While I don't even know which that grants you teleportation; I don't even know where it was stated.
The range even.




I'd love if you'd explain everything you mean here.

Looks like you guys don’t take your time to go through things if you did, you would have seen where I explained the reason I did not add the Charge time. And you would see where I stated the range just now to Phantom T.

While I don't even know which that grants you teleportation; I don't even know where it was stated.
The range even

Wait, you didn’t read the reply for Phantom T’s post did you??? If you did you would know Tenbatsu also give Teleportation and u would have seen the explaination. So I suggest you scroll up and take your time to read things through.
word count: 416
For I am Supreme
Akugaranwa Itachi
Member
Kan: 316.15 
Posts: 593
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:38 pm
User Title: Black Flash

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#19

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:38 pm

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:27 pm
Tenbatsu(Heaven's Wrath): If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time, which varies according to the level of use, the formation of clouds in his vicinity stabilizes and every free particles below the black clouds become eventually charged such that he has complete dominion over their polarities allowing him Tenbatsu. This allows him to generate electric energy from thin air, effectively converting the space around him into superior spatial version of his body; an enormous reservoir of electricity that he is one with and governs.
According to your description;
There is basically no charge time and there's no elaboration of what you exactly mean as superior spatial version of yourself. Here's becoming rowdy.
I can't even visualize feats you can perform with this; it basically speaks nothing.

Kishin(demon god): This ability converts all of Arthur’s body into a store of massive volume of highly condensed lightning energy that appears constant in a cloaked form on his person, Increasing his manipulation of lightning to vast lengths. A side effect is the even more excited state of his body cells at their most basic level, causing further increase to his innate speed and reflexes to be awakened in him. With this ability, he can channel and concentrate large of said energy into any part of his body or objects he is in contact with, either for defensive or offensive purposes, and it includes been able to fire off amounts and superior interactions with external electric fields, the conveyance extends to great distances.


While I don't even know which that grants you teleportation; I don't even know where it was stated.
The range even.




I'd love if you'd explain everything you mean here.



Spatial has to do with space. Space has to do with Teleportation.....superior spatial version of himself....this should tell you what it means.
word count: 326
For I am Supreme
Akugaranwa Itachi
Member
Kan: 316.15 
Posts: 593
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:38 pm
User Title: Black Flash

RP Leader

Re: Roleplay Workshop

#20

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:40 pm

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 4:27 pm
Tenbatsu(Heaven's Wrath): If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time, which varies according to the level of use, the formation of clouds in his vicinity stabilizes and every free particles below the black clouds become eventually charged such that he has complete dominion over their polarities allowing him Tenbatsu. This allows him to generate electric energy from thin air, effectively converting the space around him into superior spatial version of his body; an enormous reservoir of electricity that he is one with and governs.
According to your description;
There is basically no charge time and there's no elaboration of what you exactly mean as superior spatial version of yourself. Here's becoming rowdy.
I can't even visualize feats you can perform with this; it basically speaks nothing.

Kishin(demon god): This ability converts all of Arthur’s body into a store of massive volume of highly condensed lightning energy that appears constant in a cloaked form on his person, Increasing his manipulation of lightning to vast lengths. A side effect is the even more excited state of his body cells at their most basic level, causing further increase to his innate speed and reflexes to be awakened in him. With this ability, he can channel and concentrate large of said energy into any part of his body or objects he is in contact with, either for defensive or offensive purposes, and it includes been able to fire off amounts and superior interactions with external electric fields, the conveyance extends to great distances.


While I don't even know which that grants you teleportation; I don't even know where it was stated.
The range even.




I'd love if you'd explain everything you mean here.



Spatial has to do with space. Space has to do with Teleportation.....superior spatial version of himself....this should tell you what it means. The space around Arthur is connected to him, it is like a part of his body....please just go through my first post before saying it speak of nothing.
word count: 355
For I am Supreme
Post Reply

Return to “Bleach RP HQ”