Zanpakutou Workshop

Akugaranwa Itachi
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#761

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:37 am

Bankai


Tenbatsu(Heaven's Wrath): If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time, which varies according to the level of use, the formation of clouds in his vicinity stabilizes and every free particles below the black clouds become eventually charged such that he has complete dominion over their polarities allowing him Tenbatsu. This allows him to generate electric energy from thin air, making it also capable for him to achieve electro switching i.e Arthur can move electrons and lightning from one place to another, it also allows him to switch places with a lightning bolt and thus effectively converting the space around him into superior spatial version of his body; an enormous reservoir of electricity that he is one with and governs. Arthur can also draw down lightning from the clouds since in this state he becomes one with the cloud so therefore can command the lightning in the clouds.

Workings
Here Arthur becomes one with the clouds..this allows him to: can create lightning from thin air.

Draw lightning from the clouds

can switch places with lightning particles.

can switch electrons and lightning within his Environment

can Negate the use of lightning since all the lightning under the clouds and in the clouds are in his control by using the polarities of electrons and Neutrons.

Has Dominion over the electromagnetic Polarities of a lightning.
Range: The Charged Clouds in his Environment...100 diameter Range
:40% reiatsu is given off for its use upon Bankai activation. Has 12 post charge time


Kishin(demon god): This ability converts all of Arthur’s body into a store of massive volume of highly condensed lightning energy that appears constant in a cloaked form on his person, Increasing his manipulation of lightning to vast lengths. With this ability, he can channel and concentrate large of said energy into any part of his body or objects he is in contact with, either for defensive or offensive purposes, and it includes been able to fire off amounts and superior interactions with external electric fields, the conveyance extends to great distances.
Kishin's power is tied to late Kido 30s

Range: 100 meters.

At 0.5% reiatsu drain
@XIII I feel that for Kishin just like what the others do by using bullets to describe what a single ability can do.....The necessary effects you see in Kishin are what the ability offers. E.g
Offers Greater Manipulation of Electricity such that he can make constructs, give lightning into any shape.

Acts as a conduit to channel said lightning to any object or opponent which can be for Defensive and offense purpose.

Acts like a cloak for Defensive purposes with its power equivalent to late Kido 30s

Obtains perception for his eyes can see electric fields and can interact with them over a 100 meter
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#762

Post by XIII » Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:55 am

Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:37 am
If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time
This is the charge time, correct?


@XIII I feel that for Kishin just like what the others do by using bullets to describe what a single ability can do.....The necessary effects you see in Kishin are what the ability offers. E.g
In my reviews, no. I’m strict about how these types of things work. The bullets need to be variations of a core concept or, otherwise modify one particular aspect of an ability. If not, explaining extra details.

For example:

Name: Theravada 
Type: Active [Release] / Passive [Charging]
Element: Darkness/ Fire
Description: Solus' Shadows exist as extensions of his being and are connected to his reiraku by the effects of this power . Using this link, the shadows are able to draw power from him at any point from anywhere. Using the power drawn from the vast wealth of Solus' spiritual energy, the shadows may then release the stored power in one of three forms. 
  • Theravada Onenju Form:
    In this form, Solus' reiatsu is shaped in to bead-like projectiles. 
    • At low levels (1-33), the spheres take the form of large beads and move comparably to bala and can be fired in great abundance. However the heat they hold is very weak. 
      • Heat to power ratio: 10° for every level of power. 
    • At mid levels (levels 34-66), the spheres are comparable to spells like shakkahou in both size and speed. The heat they hold is significantly higher than the predecessor form. 
      • Heat: 20° for every level of power.
    • Finally, in their strong forms (67-99) the sphere become quite massive. As such, they lack speed due to being so bloated with energy. However, these spheres explode on impact to devastating effect while covering a wide area. The heat in these spheres is immense. 
      • Heat: 30° for every level of power.
  • Theravada Homa Form: In this form, Solus' reiatsu is violently expelled in a short ranged burst of dark flames. 
    • Low level (1-33), bursts have a knock back force of one meter per level of power 
      • Heat: 15° for every level of power.
       
    • Mid level (34-66) bursts have a knock back force of three meters per level of power 
      • Heat: 15° for every level of power.
    • High level (67-99) bursts have a knock back force force of 6 meters per level of power 
      • Heat: 35° for every level of power.
      • The Maximum effective range for this ability is 3m in a forward cone.
      • Both the knockback range and the associated temperature are reduced drastically as the burst moves further from the point of origin.
        • The rate of reduction is -33% for every 1m away from the point of origin.
  • Theravada Nirvana Form: In this form, Solus's reiatsu is released in the form of concentrated beams of heated energy. 
    • Low Level (1-33): At these levels the heat to power ratio is 20° for every level of power. 
    • Mid-level (34-66): At these levels, the heat to power ratio is 50° for every level of power. 
    • High level (67-99): At these levels, the heat to power ratio is 60° for every level of power. 
    • The range of the beams is dependent on the power used for them at a power to distance ratio of .5m for every level of power. 
    • Note:All temperatures are measured in °F. 
      • Each level of power is in direct comparison to that of a full powered kidou. 
    Charging Info:
    • Stored energy remains within the "shadows" or dark arms. Additional energy cannot be stored once limbs are charged to full power.
    • Limbs can be charge up to a total power of 100 (in comparison to a kidou spell)
    • Solus can elect to charge or stop charging Theravada as he pleases. By extension, how much he decides to charge the ability is his to decide, so long as it remains within the charge constraints.
    • Charging up to full power requires 3 posts. Full power may be used on the 3rd post.
Charge Time: 
      • Low Level: Instant
[Zetsriel Released Only]
      • Mid Level: 1 post
      • High Level: 3 Posts
    • Once a limb is charged or theravada is used, the energy used for the charge or the release may not return to Solus at any point.

In essence, the core of this ability is “charge energy, and release it”. The manners in which that energy gets released is very specific, as are the properties surrounding those variations. Something like this is acceptable, and it’s a common theme in all of my release type abilities.

Something where you have two or more wildly varying effects, such as: “Shoots lasers from eyes & creates portals to another dimension”, is unacceptable.

Your ability, fell into the latter category, where Increases Stats & Turns you into lightning and gives enhanced lightning control, allows you discharge said energy, etc.
In this case I would call for the ability to be broken up.
Bloated abilities like that are too strong and get away with too much for a single ability slot. An ability needs to focus on one thing, and if so desired, strictly varying up that one thing. I get what you were going for, but it’s a balance issue. That’s it.

However that point gets negated by several other factors. Primarily the fact that you’re beyond the stat increase cap, given that your speed is currently maxed out. Also the fact that you might not have had enough ability slots for the stat increase. Also the extent of the increase was completely left out, and that’s kinda against the rules. So those factors combined with the other listed effects made it utterly impossible to approve.


Aside from that the abilities are mostly fine. The increases to perception I’m hesitant to allow as part of this ability. However as it’s not a stat (yet) it’s fine temporarily, thiugh this may need to be evaluated later.

It’s also likely that the entire approach to stat boosting needs to be evaluated as well, but that’s actually a massively complicated issue that requires an extreme degree of finesse....

Approved pending the response to my fist question, however.

Edit: Neglected to mention that the way your abilities are composed is really weird, honestly. It’s a minor point, but your flavor text (aka the stuff outside the spoilers) kinda does a poor job of explaining the core mechanics of your abilities. At least for Tenbatsu. The “workings” part would serve better as the basic description while the stuff outside could be broken up into smaller bullet points explaining the deeper mechanics. It’s... not really an issue, but I do suggest maybe consider revising how you structured your description.

Feel free to use my abilities as examples. I’ve kinda refined the technique over the many years. You can tell the basics of how my abilities work without ever having to look at the spoilers (generally speaking). Like you look at the description and it’s easy to go “oh, that’s what it does”.
Last edited by XIII on Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:04 am, edited 2 times in total. word count: 1192

One who calls upon the ocean never expects the tsunami.
For beckoning the rains, also tempts the hurricane.
When simple kindling begs the wildfire,
A furious inferno to devour the lands.
And to say a prayer is to provoke the wrath of God.
Know ye not your foolishness?

Akugaranwa Itachi
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#763

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:10 am

XIII wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:55 am
Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:37 am
If Arthur employs his Bankai for a certain amount of time
This is the charge time, correct?


@XIII I feel that for Kishin just like what the others do by using bullets to describe what a single ability can do.....The necessary effects you see in Kishin are what the ability offers. E.g
In my reviews, no. I’m strict about how these types of things work. The bullets need to be variations of a core concept or, otherwise modify one particular aspect of an ability. If not, explaining extra details.

For example:

Name: Theravada 
Type: Active [Release] / Passive [Charging]
Element: Darkness/ Fire
Description: Solus' Shadows exist as extensions of his being and are connected to his reiraku by the effects of this power . Using this link, the shadows are able to draw power from him at any point from anywhere. Using the power drawn from the vast wealth of Solus' spiritual energy, the shadows may then release the stored power in one of three forms. 
  • Theravada Onenju Form:
    In this form, Solus' reiatsu is shaped in to bead-like projectiles. 
    • At low levels (1-33), the spheres take the form of large beads and move comparably to bala and can be fired in great abundance. However the heat they hold is very weak. 
      • Heat to power ratio: 10° for every level of power. 
    • At mid levels (levels 34-66), the spheres are comparable to spells like shakkahou in both size and speed. The heat they hold is significantly higher than the predecessor form. 
      • Heat: 20° for every level of power.
    • Finally, in their strong forms (67-99) the sphere become quite massive. As such, they lack speed due to being so bloated with energy. However, these spheres explode on impact to devastating effect while covering a wide area. The heat in these spheres is immense. 
      • Heat: 30° for every level of power.
  • Theravada Homa Form: In this form, Solus' reiatsu is violently expelled in a short ranged burst of dark flames. 
    • Low level (1-33), bursts have a knock back force of one meter per level of power 
      • Heat: 15° for every level of power.
       
    • Mid level (34-66) bursts have a knock back force of three meters per level of power 
      • Heat: 15° for every level of power.
    • High level (67-99) bursts have a knock back force force of 6 meters per level of power 
      • Heat: 35° for every level of power.
      • The Maximum effective range for this ability is 3m in a forward cone.
      • Both the knockback range and the associated temperature are reduced drastically as the burst moves further from the point of origin.
        • The rate of reduction is -33% for every 1m away from the point of origin.
  • Theravada Nirvana Form: In this form, Solus's reiatsu is released in the form of concentrated beams of heated energy. 
    • Low Level (1-33): At these levels the heat to power ratio is 20° for every level of power. 
    • Mid-level (34-66): At these levels, the heat to power ratio is 50° for every level of power. 
    • High level (67-99): At these levels, the heat to power ratio is 60° for every level of power. 
    • The range of the beams is dependent on the power used for them at a power to distance ratio of .5m for every level of power. 
    • Note:All temperatures are measured in °F. 
      • Each level of power is in direct comparison to that of a full powered kidou. 
    Charging Info:
    • Stored energy remains within the "shadows" or dark arms. Additional energy cannot be stored once limbs are charged to full power.
    • Limbs can be charge up to a total power of 100 (in comparison to a kidou spell)
    • Solus can elect to charge or stop charging Theravada as he pleases. By extension, how much he decides to charge the ability is his to decide, so long as it remains within the charge constraints.
    • Charging up to full power requires 3 posts. Full power may be used on the 3rd post.
Charge Time: 
      • Low Level: Instant
[Zetsriel Released Only]
      • Mid Level: 1 post
      • High Level: 3 Posts
    • Once a limb is charged or theravada is used, the energy used for the charge or the release may not return to Solus at any point.

In essence, the core of this ability is “charge energy, and release it”. The manners in which that energy gets released is very specific, as are the properties surrounding those variations. Something like this is acceptable, and it’s a common theme in all of my release type abilities.

Something where you have two or more wildly varying effects, such as: “Shoots lasers from eyes & creates portals to another dimension”, is unacceptable.

Your ability, fell into the latter category, where Increases Stats & Turns you into lightning and gives enhanced lightning control, allows you discharge said energy, etc.
In this case I would call for the ability to be broken up.
Bloated abilities like that are too strong and get away with too much for a single ability slot. An ability needs to focus on one thing, and if so desired, strictly varying up that one thing. I get what you were going for, but it’s a balance issue. That’s it.

However that point gets negated by several other factors. Primarily the fact that you’re beyond the stat increase cap, given that your speed is currently maxed out. Also the fact that you might not have had enough ability slots for the stat increase. Also the extent of the increase was completely left out, and that’s kinda against the rules. So those factors combined with the other listed effects made it utterly impossible to approve.


Aside from that the abilities are mostly fine. The increases to perception I’m hesitant to allow as part of this ability. However as it’s not a stat (yet) it’s fine temporarily, thiugh this may need to be evaluated later.

It’s also likely that the entire approach to stat boosting needs to be evaluated as well, but that’s actually a massively complicated issue that requires an extreme degree of finesse....

Approved pending the response to my fist question, however.

Edit: Neglected to mention that the way your abilities are composed is really weird, honestly. It’s a minor point, but your flavor text (aka the stuff outside the spoilers) kinda does a poor job of explaining the core mechanics of your abilities. At least for Tenbatsu. The “workings” part would serve better as the basic description while the stuff outside could be broken up into smaller bullet points explaining the deeper mechanics. It’s... not really an issue, but I do suggest maybe consider revising how you structured your description.

Feel free to use my abilities as examples. I’ve kinda refined the technique over the many years. You can tell the basics of how my abilities work without ever having to look at the spoilers (generally speaking). Like you look at the description and it’s easy to go “oh, that’s what it does”.
This is the charge time, correct?
Yeah it's the Charge time.....for about 12 posts if he is engaged with a none lightning User....(12posts) when Engaged with a lightning User, they both charge up the clouds faster so Max is 5posts.
However that point gets negated by several other factors. Primarily the fact that you’re beyond the stat increase cap, given that your speed is currently maxed out. Also the fact that you might not have had enough ability slots for the stat increase. Also the extent of the increase was completely left out, and that’s kinda against the rules. So those factors combined with the other listed effects made it utterly impossible to approve.
Okay I understand which was why the stats increase was removed from my new edit.

Edit: Neglected to mention that the way your abilities are composed is really weird, honestly. It’s a minor point, but your flavor text (aka the stuff outside the spoilers) kinda does a poor job of explaining the core mechanics of your abilities. At least for Tenbatsu. The “workings” part would serve better as the basic description while the stuff outside could be broken up into smaller bullet points explaining the deeper mechanics. It’s... not really an issue, but I do suggest maybe consider revising how you structured your description.

Feel free to use my abilities as examples. I’ve kinda refined the technique over the many years. You can tell the basics of how my abilities work without ever having to look at the spoilers (generally speaking). Like you look at the description and it’s easy to go “oh, that’s what it does”.
Edit: Alright would do that when coming up with a new Zanpacktō. Thanks.... I know I'm poor at explaining and wording an ability....but will work on it.
Last edited by Akugaranwa Itachi on Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:13 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 1511
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#764

Post by XIII » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:15 am

You’re all set then. Approved.

Wording was fine. Kishin was fine. Tenbatsu was just a lil backwards to me, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Don’t sweat it that much.
word count: 27

One who calls upon the ocean never expects the tsunami.
For beckoning the rains, also tempts the hurricane.
When simple kindling begs the wildfire,
A furious inferno to devour the lands.
And to say a prayer is to provoke the wrath of God.
Know ye not your foolishness?

Akugaranwa Itachi
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#765

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:36 am

XIII wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:15 am
You’re all set then. Approved.

Wording was fine. Kishin was fine. Tenbatsu was just a lil backwards to me, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Don’t sweat it that much.
Thanks boss. I have one question though....the Switching that happens in Tenbatsu, is it okay to place the speed at with it occurs to speed of thought?
word count: 64
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#766

Post by PhoenixDayne » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:32 am

Fluxarc wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:17 am
PhoenixDayne wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 12:49 pm

Explain the numbers in the bracket.

OK. So, once the Saishogan is activated, a 15 post countdown begins. At the end of that, it deactivates itself. This is to protect Kara's brain from the incredible strain of processing the Quantum Matrix. The Saishogan 'cools down' for 5 posts, and then can be re-activated. However, if Kara forcibly re-activates the Saishogan before it's cool down is complete, then when next the Saishogan seals itself, all her stats drop one level. And this lasts for the five post cool down.



Explain the numbers and it'll be on Conditional Approval.
@PhoenixDayne
Cool then. Conditionally approved, flex them abilities.
word count: 128

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#767

Post by Fluxarc » Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:11 am

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:32 am
Fluxarc wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:17 am


@PhoenixDayne
Cool then. Conditionally approved, flex them abilities.
HA! Yes! *Scrambles to update profile*
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#768

Post by Itsu » Wed Mar 25, 2020 4:33 pm

Echo Sin of Condemnation


Ability Name: Töten
Command: Face judgement
Description: Centered around Klaüs's core Sin, Töten is a physical representation of the curse of the Sin 'Condemning'. Upon its command phrase, Klaüs is capable of laying the curse that accompanies his Sin, which binds anything to its supernatural detriment upon contact with his Reiatsu aura, body contact or anything made from Klaüs's reiatsu to be cursed to return to its condemned state (doesn't affect Zanpakutoü). For example; if Klaüs decides to curse a wall to be condemned by touching it, the wall instantaneously crumbles into fragments. Metallic objects are condemned to rusted before breaking into dust particles, while energy like entities, looses their molecular compositions that keeps them together, which in turn makes disintegrate into thin air. The effects on sentient beings are however reduced to a great degree for the effects aren't instantaneous but gradually decay over a short period of time. Meanwhile, the effect(s) and level of curse placed on an entity depends on the amount of Reiatsu donated into the said entity. So for bigger entities to be fully condemned, the adequate quantity of Reiatsu will be consumed for its success.
  • Entities must be within an area of 30meters before effects can take place.
    • Sentient beings with higher spiritual energy can completely negate its supernatural detriment, while equal and lower level opponent(s) suffer the effects leaving the lower level opponents to undergo rapid decay.


Ability Name: Zweck
Command: Taste Judgement
Description: Still hovering around his core Sin, Zweck is the second aspect of Klaüs's Echo which possesses the power to condemn the 'Purpose' of matter. This is done by saying the words of command while making ocular contact with the entity he needs to be affect by his Sin. Zweck takes effect(s) when victims make contact with anything made from Klaüs's Reiatsu. For example: The use/purpose of a blade/sword is to cut through anything cuttable, so if the sword gets affected by Zweck, the supernatural detriment of condemnation takes away the purpose of the blade, thereby making unable to cut, no matter how sharp it is. So also if flames get affected by Zweck, they lose their primary purpose which is heat e.t.c. However, Zweck affects anything but sentient beings and cannot be used alongside Klaüs's first Echo ability 'Töten', for one has to stop for the other to work.
Last edited by Itsu on Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:40 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 418
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#769

Post by Itsu » Wed Mar 25, 2020 4:37 pm

Please whoever is readily available between @PhoenixDayne and @Fluxarc should help with the review of the above ability. Thanks
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#770

Post by Fluxarc » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:38 pm

Itsu wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 4:37 pm
Please whoever is readily available between @PhoenixDayne and @Fluxarc should help with the review of the above ability. Thanks
I've got it, Itsu. ;)
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#771

Post by Itsu » Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:13 am

Fluxarc wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:38 pm
Itsu wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 4:37 pm
Please whoever is readily available between @PhoenixDayne and @Fluxarc should help with the review of the above ability. Thanks
I've got it, Itsu. ;)
Thanks
word count: 43
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#772

Post by XIII » Thu Mar 26, 2020 10:56 pm

Not that it needs mentioning, I’ve renamed some of the stances on my Zan and changed the Shikai description to more fully explain its mechanics. No other adjustments have been made at this time.

However I am evaluating several adjustments. Look forward to something soon.

Edit: Further revisions to my Shikai Incoming. I’ve revised the first ability to be more thematically appropriate, and remains mostly unchanged from the previous iteration. There are a few notable tweaks however. The 4th ability has been deleted and replaced with something far more appropriate for the type of Zan this it is (and has become).
Locus Form variations included. And all other currently approved abilities will be modified to have previous mentions/interactions with old abilities removed.


Ability: Hissatsu Ken: Satsui no Senpuu (必殺剣• 殺意の台風, Certain Death Blade: Whirlwind of Murderous Intent)
Element: Wind
Type: Active
Descriptions: An attack designed for the sole purpose of cutting an enemy down at close range (2m). As a result of any of the user’s slashing attacks done while calling out the word “Satsui”. As a result, a strong gust of razor sharp wind known as Hakaze (刃風, blade wind) flows forth from the blade.
  • From Gyouten Shisei: The Hakaze covers a wide (20m) conical area.
    • The concentration of Hakaze becomes much lesser as it moves from the point of execution, making it much less effective as it travels. Conversely, the concentration is much higher at close range thus making the potential to do harm much greater.
  • From Yaten Shisei: Rather than flowing from Reijin, the Hakaze manifests upward from the ground beneath the opponent when the user thrusts forward. It manifests from the air behind the opponent with an upward slash and moves downward. Then from the opposite side of the user’s attack when slashing from either the left or right.
    • In either case, the opponent must be within striking distance of the user.
  • From Shinten Shisei:The Hakaze flows down from above the user and opponent almost like a rain of blades in a 2m radius. From this stance the blades are concentrated in a tighter area, making their potential to do harm significantly greater.
    • Use of this technique from this stance also poses some risk to the user as well.
  • From Muten Shisei: The hakaze flows from Reijin at half the normal distance, but manifests around the target before closing in on them.
  • From Kure Shisei: The command become “Kure Jinpu”, and the hakaze flows along the length of the blade, giving it a serrated edge and bolstering it’s cutting potential.
  • From Yoake Shisei: The command becomes “Yoake Jinpu”, and the hakaze coalesces and flows from above the user and target and falls down to ground like rain.
  • From Nisshoku Shisei: The command becomes, “Nisshoku Jinpu”, and the hakaze flows from the blade and then condenses to form a tight ball of compressed air that will explode with extreme concussive force upon contact.
  • From Getsumei Shisei: The command becomes “Getsu Jinpu”, and the Hakaze flows around the blade. It can then be released, sending a tightly woven cyclone of blades in order to extend the user’s slashing range by 10m. Or, The hakaze can be held round the blade, allowing the hakaze a chance to rip through anything it makes contact with, bolstering the destructive potential of attacks.
Ability: Senmetsu Ken: Seishin Zetsubou no Yaiba (鏖殺剣• 精神絶望の刃, Annhilation Blade: Blade of Soul Despair)
Element: Dark
Type: Passive
Sen Cost: 8
Descriptions: This ability calls upon the fundamentals of the Shinigami, and their ability to guide souls. As a result, the user pulls in lost souls, or extreme quantities of ambient reishi into their blade and empowers it with spiritual energy. The blade then glows blood red with a sinister energy that seemingly mimics that of Quincy reishi weapons. Attacks with this empowered weapon will flooded with this mass of energy, and victims will be continually burned by lingering spiritual energy.

  • The energy produced by this ability is highly, and effectively “toxic” to spiritual beings.
  • This toxic-like energy, continually erodes away at the soul’s structure, causing prolonged damage over a period of time (6 posts).
  • Over the duration of this ability negates the soul/body’s ability to regenerate and repair itself against damage.
    • As such, bleeding wounds will not see the bleeding slowed by the body’s natural responses and will instead bleed profusely.
    • Wounds inflicted by this attack cannot be healed though the use of regenerative abilities while effects persist.
  • Story Only:Given the strong similarities to Quincy abilities, this technique bears the ability to cause Soul Destruction to entities killed by its malice.
  • This skill can also be used with Satsui No Jinpou.
    • In this case the command becomes “Zetsubou no Jinpou”.
    • The effects of combination causes the massive of spiritual energy to be discharged as per Satsui’s rules and stance effects.
      • The exception to this clause is Satsui no Jinpou when performed from the Getsumei Stance.
      • In this case, the spiritual energy is discharged and mixes into the wind.
      • Damage done becomes exacerbated by the effects of the energy, and the lingering effect becomes prolonged by 2 posts.
    • Separately exposed body parts have separate exposure durations.
    • The Blade remains charged until discharged.
    • Unaffected by Bushi no Haiku and Shinigami no Haiku.
      • Despite being unaffected, these effects are triggered automatically upon the activation of Shinigami no Haiku and Reijin’s transition into Locus Form.
      • The blade’s red glow causes a double aura effect when Shinigami no Haiku is active.
Ability: Hissatsu Ken: Satsui no Jinpu [Locus Form] (必殺剣• 殺意の刃風, Certain Death Blade: Murderous Blade Wind)
Element: Wind
Type: Active
Descriptions: An attack designed for the sole purpose of cutting an enemy down at close range (2m). As a result of any of the user’s slashing attacks done while calling out the word “Satsui”. As a result, a strong gust of razor sharp wind known as Hakaze (刃風, blade wind) flows forth from the blade.
  • Locus Form Satsui allows Emi to use all stance effects of this ability without the need to take a stance beforehand.
  • Satsui’s base range becomes 8m in this form.
  • With the use of Sen (1 sen per use), the winds pull all shards of metal from the user’s blade.
    • These blade fragments dramatically increase the destructive potential of this ability.
    • Blades fragments can embed themselves in the targets flesh and open wounds like shrapnel in order to continually cut away at them internally.
    • The concentration of Hakaze becomes quadrupled as per the effects of “Bushi no Haiku’s” 3rd verse.
Ability: Senmetsu Ken: Seishin Zetsubou no Yaiba [Locus Form] (鏖殺剣• 精神絶望の刃, Annhilation Blade: Blade of Soul Despair)
Element: Dark
Type: Passive
Descriptions: This ability calls upon the fundamentals of the Shinigami, and their ability to guide souls. As a result, the user pulls in lost souls, or extreme quantities of ambient reishi into their blade and empowers it with spiritual energy. The blade then glows blood red with a sinister energy that seemingly mimics that of Quincy reishi weapons. Attacks with this empowered weapon will flooded with this mass of energy, and victims will be continually burned by lingering spiritual energy.
  • Locus Form Zetsubou now has the capacity to spread over the victim’s body, over the course of the exposure.
  • Subsequent exposures to the sinister energy resets the duration of all exposed areas and increases the exposure duration by one post up to a maximum of 10 posts.
  • Subsequent exposure, wherein the duration would be increased beyond 10 posts, instead cause the excess energy to explode or burst from the point of contact
  • Effects of Zetsubou can be extended to the Phantom Blades generated by Anbu Zangeki.
Last edited by XIII on Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:11 am, edited 5 times in total. word count: 1282
Reason: Spoiler fix

One who calls upon the ocean never expects the tsunami.
For beckoning the rains, also tempts the hurricane.
When simple kindling begs the wildfire,
A furious inferno to devour the lands.
And to say a prayer is to provoke the wrath of God.
Know ye not your foolishness?

Akugaranwa Itachi
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#773

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:02 am

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:32 am
Fluxarc wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:17 am


@PhoenixDayne
Cool then. Conditionally approved, flex them abilities.
Sorry PD but I'm gonna have to question this judgement here. Arthur had Reverse sight and that ability granted him the possibility of seeing future attacks before it occurs....I seem to remember how crazed you wear and how you shut that down.....Now you are gonna accept this? This isn't a Shikai my brother.....it screams BANKAI.
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#774

Post by PhoenixDayne » Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:03 am

Fluxarc wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:17 am
PhoenixDayne wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 12:49 pm

Explain the numbers in the bracket.

OK. So, once the Saishogan is activated, a 15 post countdown begins. At the end of that, it deactivates itself. This is to protect Kara's brain from the incredible strain of processing the Quantum Matrix. The Saishogan 'cools down' for 5 posts, and then can be re-activated. However, if Kara forcibly re-activates the Saishogan before it's cool down is complete, then when next the Saishogan seals itself, all her stats drop one level. And this lasts for the five post cool down.



Explain the numbers and it'll be on Conditional Approval.
@PhoenixDayne
Sorry. I noticed something while reading your profile this morning.
Your second ability can manipulate sound, light, gravity & illusion?
Should be one, just one and worded to fit only one.
Manipulating sound goes a long way, light too, gravity too and illusion tooooooo.


"* While the Saishogan is active, Kara gains a 50% decrease to her reaction time while evading. In other words, if Kara would ordinarily take 4 seconds to dodge a given attack, with the Saishogan active, she would take 2 seconds, or 2 seconds less. This boost effect only works for threats or objects within Kara's visual field. In other words, if she cannot see an attack, the boost effect doesn't work."

For something this powerful, I believe the cooldown time should be more than just 5 and forceful reactivation should take longer.
5 posts is wayyyy too short and forceful reactivation of 2posts is even shorterrrrrrr.
Last edited by PhoenixDayne on Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:13 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 272

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#775

Post by PhoenixDayne » Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:06 am

Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:02 am
PhoenixDayne wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:32 am


Cool then. Conditionally approved, flex them abilities.
Sorry PD but I'm gonna have to question this judgement here. Arthur had Reverse sight and that ability granted him the possibility of seeing future attacks before it occurs....I seem to remember how crazed you wear and how you shut that down.....Now you are gonna accept this? This isn't a Shikai my brother.....it screams BANKAI.
Please, refrain from insulting me.
It does, that's why I held it on conditional.
His spar decides lots of things, his spar with 13 & Dex. Whether or not he comes under rereview is up to him.
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#776

Post by XIII » Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:18 am

PhoenixDayne wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:06 am
Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:02 am


Sorry PD but I'm gonna have to question this judgement here. Arthur had Reverse sight and that ability granted him the possibility of seeing future attacks before it occurs....I seem to remember how crazed you wear and how you shut that down.....Now you are gonna accept this? This isn't a Shikai my brother.....it screams BANKAI.
Please, refrain from insulting me.
It does, that's why I held it on conditional.
His spar decides lots of things, his spar with 13 & Dex. Whether or not he comes under rereview is up to him.
 ! Moderator Message from: XIII
I suppose this prompts my involvement. From my peering at it, it does in fact give me a sense of Bankai, especially the increase to reflexes. However give them its current status as not a proper stat, it’s technically allowable (for now). Other aspects I’ve yet to fully evaluate, however I shall experience them firsthand and decide from there. Consider this test run a means in which to loosely set a precedent for what is / isn’t allowable for strange one releases.
Oh, and kindly: Revisions to my own shikai posted above. If anyone could examine them with expedited pace that’d be nice.
Last edited by XIII on Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:20 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 225

One who calls upon the ocean never expects the tsunami.
For beckoning the rains, also tempts the hurricane.
When simple kindling begs the wildfire,
A furious inferno to devour the lands.
And to say a prayer is to provoke the wrath of God.
Know ye not your foolishness?

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Kan: 3,559.80 
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#777

Post by PhoenixDayne » Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:22 am

At least, 13 gets it.

Also, I'm noticing lots of things already but after his spar, I'd do a rereview whether they stick or not.
Reason I let his reaction stick was that he wasn't directly influencing his speed, isall.
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#778

Post by PhoenixDayne » Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:45 am

XIII wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 10:56 pm



Ability: Hissatsu Ken: Satsui no Senpuu (必殺剣• 殺意の台風, Certain Death Blade: Whirlwind of Murderous Intent)
Element: Wind
Type: Active
Descriptions: An attack designed for the sole purpose of cutting an enemy down at close range (2m). As a result of any of the user’s slashing attacks done while calling out the word “Satsui”. As a result, a strong gust of razor sharp wind known as Hakaze (刃風, blade wind) flows forth from the blade.
  • From Gyouten Shisei: The Hakaze covers a wide (20m) conical area.
    • The concentration of Hakaze becomes much lesser as it moves from the point of execution, making it much less effective as it travels. Conversely, the concentration is much higher at close range thus making the potential to do harm much greater.
  • From Yaten Shisei: Rather than flowing from Reijin, the Hakaze manifests upward from the ground beneath the opponent when the user thrusts forward. It manifests from the air behind the opponent with an upward slash and moves downward. Then from the opposite side of the user’s attack when slashing from either the left or right.
    • In either case, the opponent must be within striking distance of the user.
Let me get this clearly;
• With a forward thrust, the wind blades come from beneath the ground.
• With an upward slash, hakaze appears behind the opponent.
• With a downward slash, ???????
• Then from either side.
Or you left it at that intentionally?
[*]From Shinten Shisei:The Hakaze flows down from above the user and opponent almost like a rain of blades in a 2m radius. From this stance the blades are concentrated in a tighter area, making their potential to do harm significantly greater.
  • Use of this technique from this stance also poses some risk to the user as well.
[*]From Muten Shisei: The hakaze flows from Reijin at half the normal distance, but manifests around the target before closing in on them.

[*]From Kure Shisei: The command become “Kure Jinpu”, and the hakaze flows along the length of the blade, giving it a serrated edge and bolstering it’s cutting potential.

[*]From Yoake Shisei: The command becomes “Yoake Jinpu”, and the hakaze coalesces and flows from above the user and target and falls down to ground like rain.

[*]From Nisshoku Shisei: The command becomes, “Nisshoku Jinpu”, and the hakaze flows from the blade and then condenses to form a tight ball of compressed air that will explode with extreme concussive force upon contact.

[*]From Getsumei Shisei: The command becomes “Getsu Jinpu”, and the Hakaze flows around the blade. It can then be released, sending a tightly woven cyclone of blades in order to extend the user’s slashing range by 10m. Or, The hakaze can be held round the blade, allowing the hakaze a chance to rip through anything it makes contact with, bolstering the destructive potential of attacks.[/list]
[/spoiler]
Ish cool
Ability: Senmetsu Ken: Seishin Zetsubou no Yaiba (鏖殺剣• 精神絶望の刃, Annhilation Blade: Blade of Soul Despair)
Element: Dark
Type: Passive
Sen Cost: 8
Descriptions: This ability calls upon the fundamentals of the Shinigami, and their ability to guide souls. As a result, the user pulls in lost souls, or extreme quantities of ambient reishi into their blade and empowers it with spiritual energy. The blade then glows blood red with a sinister energy that seemingly mimics that of Quincy reishi weapons. Attacks with this empowered weapon will flooded with this mass of energy, and victims will be continually burned by lingering spiritual energy.

  • The energy produced by this ability is highly, and effectively “toxic” to spiritual beings.
  • This toxic-like energy, continually erodes away at the soul’s structure, causing prolonged damage over a period of time (6 posts).
  • Over the duration of this ability negates the soul/body’s ability to regenerate and repair itself against damage.
    • As such, bleeding wounds will not see the bleeding slowed by the body’s natural responses and will instead bleed profusely.
    • Wounds inflicted by this attack cannot be healed though the use of regenerative abilities while effects persist.
  • Story Only:Given the strong similarities to Quincy abilities, this technique bears the ability to cause Soul Destruction to entities killed by its malice.
Let me get one thing straight and though I find it quite weird for a shinigami to possess a great affinity for quincy's powers (well, it sounds pretty okay given soul king's hazy existence).
How exactly does this stuff erode soul's structure?
[*]This skill can also be used with Satsui No Jinpou.
  • In this case the command becomes “Zetsubou no Jinpou”.
  • The effects of combination causes the massive of spiritual energy to be discharged as per Satsui’s rules and stance effects.
    • The exception to this clause is Satsui no Jinpou when performed from the Getsumei Stance.
    • In this case, the spiritual energy is discharged and mixes into the wind.
    • Damage done becomes exacerbated by the effects of the energy, and the lingering effect becomes prolonged by 2 posts.
  • Separately exposed body parts have separate exposure durations.
  • The Blade remains charged until discharged.
  • Unaffected by Bushi no Haiku and Shinigami no Haiku.
    • Despite being unaffected, these effects are triggered automatically upon the activation of Shinigami no Haiku and Reijin’s transition into Locus Form.
    • The blade’s red glow causes a double aura effect when Shinigami no Haiku is active.
[/spoiler]
Ish okay
Ability: Hissatsu Ken: Satsui no Jinpu [Locus Form] (必殺剣• 殺意の刃風, Certain Death Blade: Murderous Blade Wind)
Element: Wind
Type: Active
Descriptions: An attack designed for the sole purpose of cutting an enemy down at close range (2m). As a result of any of the user’s slashing attacks done while calling out the word “Satsui”. As a result, a strong gust of razor sharp wind known as Hakaze (刃風, blade wind) flows forth from the blade.
  • Locus Form Satsui allows Emi to use all stance effects of this ability without the need to take a stance beforehand.
  • Satsui’s base range becomes 8m in this form.
  • With the use of Sen (1 sen per use), the winds pull all shards of metal from the user’s blade.
    • These blade fragments dramatically increase the destructive potential of this ability.
    • Blades fragments can embed themselves in the targets flesh and open wounds like shrapnel in order to continually cut away at them internally.
    • The concentration of Hakaze becomes quadrupled as per the effects of “Bushi no Haiku’s” 3rd verse.
Ability: Senmetsu Ken: Seishin Zetsubou no Yaiba [Locus Form] (鏖殺剣• 精神絶望の刃, Annhilation Blade: Blade of Soul Despair)
Element: Dark
Type: Passive
Descriptions: This ability calls upon the fundamentals of the Shinigami, and their ability to guide souls. As a result, the user pulls in lost souls, or extreme quantities of ambient reishi into their blade and empowers it with spiritual energy. The blade then glows blood red with a sinister energy that seemingly mimics that of Quincy reishi weapons. Attacks with this empowered weapon will flooded with this mass of energy, and victims will be continually burned by lingering spiritual energy.
Don't understand that bit clearly
[*]Locus Form Zetsubou now has the capacity to spread over the victim’s body, over the course of the exposure.
Subsequent exposures to the sinister energy resets the duration of all exposed areas and increases the exposure duration by one post up to a maximum of 10 posts.
What exactly does that mean?
[*]Subsequent exposure, wherein the duration would be increased beyond 10 posts, instead cause the excess energy to explode or burst from the point of contact
[*]Effects of Zetsubou can be extended to the Phantom Blades generated by Anbu Zangeki.
Isall for now.
Last edited by PhoenixDayne on Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:46 am, edited 1 time in total. word count: 1273

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#779

Post by Fluxarc » Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:45 am

Wuuh boy. O.. O.

Okay. I knew from the get go the Saishogan (Now Ryogan, updated profile incoming) would be divisive.

Manipulating reality is a tough nut to crack RP wise.

Phe, me putting down gravity, Sound and light was about using the most relatable phenomena for reality manipulation, which is incredibly broad. By narrowing it down to those three, I think it narrows the scope and makes it more manageable as an ability. I could just say she can alter all reality, but then she'd turn you into a bullfrog. That would be awkward.

As for the cool down time... 15 posts is the max time for the standard Ryogan, which enhances sight and increases reaction time (none of which are even remotely OP). Now, with the second ability, Ningyo Shiba, that 15 post max drops more quickly since an extra post is deducted per use of Ningyo Shiba over 12 percent reiatsu cost. Simply put, the Ryogan deals faster when special abilities like illusions, reality manipulation and Kyomu are used.

I could reduce the standard time from 15 to 10, or increase the cool down from 5 to 10, but I really feel it's reasonable as it is. Your call, though.
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#780

Post by Fluxarc » Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:52 am

Itsu wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 4:33 pm
Echo Sin of Condemnation


Ability Name: Töten
Command: Face judgement
Description: Centered around Klaüs's core Sin, Töten is a physical representation of the curse of the Sin 'Condemning'. Upon its command phrase, Klaüs is capable of laying the curse that accompanies his Sin, which binds anything to its supernatural detriment upon contact with his Reiatsu aura, body contact or anything made from Klaüs's reiatsu to be cursed to return to its condemned state (doesn't affect Zanpakutoü). For example; if Klaüs decides to curse a wall to be condemned by touching it, the wall instantaneously crumbles into fragments. Metallic objects are condemned to rusted before breaking into dust particles, while energy like entities, looses their molecular compositions that keeps them together, which in turn makes disintegrate into thin air. The effects on sentient beings are however reduced to a great degree for the effects aren't instantaneous but gradually decay over a short period of time. Meanwhile, the effect(s) and level of curse placed on an entity depends on the amount of Reiatsu donated into the said entity. So for bigger entities to be fully condemned, the adequate quantity of Reiatsu will be consumed for its success.
  • Entities must be within an area of 30meters before effects can take place.
    • Sentient beings with higher spiritual energy can completely negate its supernatural detriment, while equal and lower level opponent(s) suffer the effects leaving the lower level opponents to undergo rapid decay.


Ability Name: Zweck
Command: Taste Judgement
Description: Still hovering around his core Sin, Zweck is the second aspect of Klaüs's Echo which possesses the power to condemn the 'Purpose' of matter. This is done by saying the words of command while making ocular contact with the entity he needs to be affect by his Sin. Zweck takes effect(s) when victims make contact with anything made from Klaüs's Reiatsu. For example: The use/purpose of a blade/sword is to cut through anything cuttable, so if the sword gets affected by Zweck, the supernatural detriment of condemnation takes away the purpose of the blade, thereby making unable to cut, no matter how sharp it is. So also if flames get affected by Zweck, they lose their primary purpose which is heat e.t.c. However, Zweck affects anything but sentient beings and cannot be used alongside Klaüs's first Echo ability 'Töten', for one has to stop for the other to work.

Okay, I'm on my phone now so won't post a review right away, but holy crap I love this ability, particularly Zweck. Stuff to iron out, but it's mostly legit. Review soon.
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