[7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#81

Post by Aegis Raiu » Sun Sep 03, 2017 11:09 am

Akugaranwa Itachi. I have been observing and making my inputs to you via P.M and yet you've paid no heed to either myself nor the willing leaders of the 7th who've treated you with no less every bit of respect as should. As a Senior Officer of the 2nd Division, you have disappointed that status and your actions thus far has left me no choice but to step in and take action. Following the previous complaints about you here, here and here on the same issue, you have now been seen repeating the same now, even worse disrespecting and insulting a Mod who has brought out her time and effort to see all works out for you and the Forum in general. As a result, your current Zan is hereby revoked for public use. Continuous use of your current Zan in any thread is now forbidden and will remain so till properly reviewed and up to standard. You're hereby required to submit it in full at the 2nd Division's Zan review thread for a full review with all the suggested changes already in place.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#82

Post by Vladkre33 » Sun Sep 03, 2017 4:26 pm

Vladkre33 wrote:
Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:07 am
Zanpakutou

Base Appearance: Elijah's Zanpakutou is not a katana, but a five foot long cleaver he can wield with one hand. The last foot of the blade protrudes and retracts at a fourty five degree angle, much like an axe to enhance cutting strength.

Element: ?????

Shikai

Name: Morbid Minuet

Command: Devour

Appearance: Once summoned, Morbid Minuet takes the shape of a chainsaw. One that is caked with rust and spanning a length of seven feet.

Passive Abilities:

Name: The Icon of Dominance
Effect: Within five meters of Elijah's person, his reiatsu is extremely dense. This allows him to project his killing intent to a wavering or weak willed foe. The target may believe Elijah has already struck them, or believe he has vanished from sight.

Name: The Predator
Effect: Elijah's already jagged teeth and claws sharpen and harden tenfold, effectively making him a living weapon.

Active Abilities:

Name:One Foot in the Grave
Effect: Elijah can summon 3 corpses from the earth beneath his feet. They are not mobile and as such have to be manually used by Elijah however he deems fit.

Name: Haunted
Effect: Elijah can project any sound(barring Zanpakutou abilities)he naturally makes one hundred meters from his person. This includes the whir of his chainsaw, his footsteps, or his own growling.

Bankai

Name: Death's Last Requiem

Appearance: In Bankai, the blade extends to ten feet long, and appears to glisten with blood on the blades. In this state it's difficult for even Elijah to wield the weak with one hand.

Passive Abilities

Name: Beast Loose in Paradise
Effect: An upgraded version of Icon of Dominace that increases the effect range to 10 meters and strengthens the potents hallucinations. Can affect people equal to his reiatsu level.

Name: Evil Never Dies
Effect: Once per spar/mission/event, Elijah can rise to his feet if incapacitated in combat. Once in this state he is impervious to pain and does not bleed. It lasts for three posts and can only be disabled by once again subduing Elijah. His initial wounds to nor regenerate and therefore will hinder him if they are such wounds (Amputated limbs, vaporized parts, etc).

Name: I Walk With Death
Effect: This ability activate's alongside Evil Never Dies. It causes a phantom blade of a sound to follow Elijah's weapon swings. This blade has a two second lag behind the weapon, but can interact with physical objects. It deactivates when Evil Never Dies does.

Active Abilities

Name: Terrorscape
Effect: An upgraded version of Haunted that allows Elijah to project absolutely any sound he can conceive of with a two hundred meter radius.

Name: Embrace the Ending
Effect: Elijah can summon the corpse of absolutely anything he has ever killed. He can form them into massive walls or simply toss them at an opponent and their numbers seem limitless.
Just touching up some wording, making things more defined, and changing an ability in bankai.

Shikai

Name: Morbid Minuet

Command: Devour

Appearance: Once summoned, Morbid Minuet takes the shape of a chainsaw. One that is caked with rust and spanning a length of seven feet.

Passive Abilities:

Name: The Icon of Dominance
Effect: Within five meters of Elijah's person, his reiatsu is extremely dense. This allows him to project his killing intent to a wavering or weak willed foe. The target may believe Elijah has already struck them, or believe he has vanished from sight. Can be used on foes one reiatsu level under his own.

Name: The Predator
Effect: Elijah's already jagged teeth and claws sharpen and harden to the density of steel, effectively making him a living weapon.

Active Abilities:

Name:One Foot in the Grave
Effect: Elijah can summon 3 corpses from the earth beneath his feet. They are not mobile and as such have to be manually used by Elijah however he deems fit.

Name: Haunted
Effect: Elijah can project any sound(barring Zanpakutou abilities)he naturally makes one hundred meters from his person. This includes the whir of his chainsaw, his footsteps, or his own growling.

Bankai

Name: Death's Last Requiem

Appearance: In Bankai, the blade extends to ten feet long, and appears to glisten with blood on the blades. In this state it's difficult for even Elijah to wield the weak with one hand.

Passive Abilities

Name: Beast Loose in Paradise
Effect: An upgraded version of Icon of Dominace that increases the effect range to 10 meters and strengthens the potents hallucinations.

Name: Evil Never Dies
Effect: Once per spar/mission/event, Elijah can rise to his feet if incapacitated in combat. Once in this state he is impervious to pain and does not bleed. It lasts for three posts and can only be disabled by once again subduing Elijah. His initial wounds to nor regenerate and therefore will hinder him if they are such wounds (Amputated limbs, vaporized parts, etc).



Active Abilities

Name: Cannibal Cuisine
Effect: Upon entering Bankai, Elijah can unhinge his jaw to inhuman proportions, much like a snake. This allows his already enhanced teeth to attack a wider area.{Should this be passive?}

Name: Terrorscape
Effect: An upgraded version of Haunted that allows Elijah to project absolutely any sound he can conceive of with a two hundred meter radius.

Name: Embrace the Ending
Effect: Elijah can summon the corpse of absolutely anything he has ever killed. He can form them into massive walls or simply toss them at an opponent and their numbers seem limitless. This puts an immense strain on his reiatsu, and should he not be in his "Evil Never Dies" state, overuse of this ability will force him into it.
"An Immovable Wall of Flesh, ever rising, until the end."

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#83

Post by Asano » Sun Sep 03, 2017 5:13 pm

Name: The Icon of Dominance
Effect: Within five meters of Elijah's person, his reiatsu is extremely dense. This allows him to project his killing intent to a wavering or weak willed foe. The target may believe Elijah has already struck them, or believe he has vanished from sight. Can be used on foes one reiatsu level under his own.

Name: Beast Loose in Paradise
Effect: An upgraded version of Icon of Dominace that increases the effect range to 10 meters and strengthens the potents hallucinations.
As I mentioned before, be wary of the practicality of this ability. I may suggest making this a bit more illusory/mind-altering based than it seems to be currently. May bet better suited to achieving your desired effects than leaving to the mental fortitude of the targets. Also it should be noted that reiatsu naturally induces fear should it be considerable enough.
Name: Evil Never Dies
Effect: Once per spar/mission/event, Elijah can rise to his feet if incapacitated in combat. Once in this state he is impervious to pain and does not bleed. It lasts for three posts and can only be disabled by once again subduing Elijah. His initial wounds to nor regenerate and therefore will hinder him if they are such wounds (Amputated limbs, vaporized parts, etc).
Same warning as before still applies. The events in the Pit were a bit too close to the edge there.

Name: Cannibal Cuisine
Effect: Upon entering Bankai, Elijah can unhinge his jaw to inhuman proportions, much like a snake. This allows his already enhanced teeth to attack a wider area.{Should this be passive?}
Should be a passive and should probably say “unhinge and stretch”.


Aside from the few notices, it’s fine. Consider it approved.

It would come in a blur, and seek to lay waste to them all.
In a flash, the beast sought to let loose a calamity crafted by its own hands.
Its sole purpose to leave nothing but charred remains and ash...


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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#84

Post by Vladkre33 » Mon Sep 04, 2017 10:51 am

So something more along these lines?

Name: The Icon of Dominance
Effect: Within five meters of Elijah's person, his reiatsu is extremely dense. This allows him to create illusions within the area.Targets may believe Elijah has already struck them, or believe he has vanished from sight. Can be used on foes one reiatsu level under his own.

And

Name: Cannibal Cuisine
Effect: Upon entering Bankai, Elijah can unhinge his jaw and stretch it to inhuman proportions, much like a snake. This allows his already enhanced teeth to attack a wider area or swallow a grown man whole.
"An Immovable Wall of Flesh, ever rising, until the end."

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#85

Post by Silverdrake » Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:14 am

A few comments from the peanut gallery:
Vladkre33 wrote:
Sun Sep 03, 2017 4:26 pm
Name:One Foot in the Grave
Effect: Elijah can summon 3 corpses from the earth beneath his feet. They are not mobile and as such have to be manually used by Elijah however he deems fit.
The wording "at his feet" would not allow the use you made here with corpses summoned from the ceiling. Change to summoning within an area. Does it need to be from actual earth or any surface? Example, in a metal or wooden room.
Name: Haunted
Effect: Elijah can project any sound(barring Zanpakutou abilities)he naturally makes one hundred meters from his person. This includes the whir of his chainsaw, his footsteps, or his own growling.
Change to "within one hundred meters of his person" unless you mean for the sounds to always be 100m away.
Name: Death's Last Requiem

Appearance: In Bankai, the blade extends to ten feet long, and appears to glisten with blood on the blades. In this state it's difficult for even Elijah to wield the weak with one hand.
What does "wield the weak" mean?
Name: Evil Never Dies
Effect: Once per spar/mission/event, Elijah can rise to his feet if incapacitated in combat. Once in this state he is impervious to pain and does not bleed. It lasts for three posts and can only be disabled by once again subduing Elijah. His initial wounds to nor regenerate and therefore will hinder him if they are such wounds (Amputated limbs, vaporized parts, etc).
Suggested rewords:
"Once per release". A mission or event could span multiple days and therefore multiple releases.
Existing wounds do not regenerate, and any that prevent use of a body part continue to hinder him.
Name: Terrorscape
Effect: An upgraded version of Haunted that allows Elijah to project absolutely any sound he can conceive of with a two hundred meter radius.

Name: Embrace the Ending
Effect: Elijah can summon the corpse of absolutely anything he has ever killed. He can form them into massive walls or simply toss them at an opponent and their numbers seem limitless. This puts an immense strain on his reiatsu, and should he not be in his "Evil Never Dies" state, overuse of this ability will force him into it.
"Absolutely" is unnecessary (it's stated absolutely). :p

Fix typo > within.

Suggested reword:

"Elijah can summon the corpse of anything he has ever killed, and do so in seemingly limitless number. He can form them into massive constructs, animate them to attack, or simply toss them at an opponent."

This wording allows the flesh golem and attack wave you used here.

Added in 5 minutes 40 seconds:
Vladkre33 wrote:
Mon Sep 04, 2017 10:51 am
Name: Cannibal Cuisine
Effect: Upon entering Bankai, Elijah can unhinge his jaw and stretch it to inhuman proportions, much like a snake. This allows his already enhanced teeth to attack a wider area or swallow a grown man whole.
Reword for clarity:

Effect: Upon entering Bankai, Elijah can unhinge his jaw, much like a snake, and stretch it to inhuman proportions. This allows his already enhanced teeth to attack an area wide enough to swallow a grown man whole.

Comparison where it belongs. Gives the scope of the area.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#86

Post by Vladkre33 » Wed Sep 06, 2017 5:07 pm

Ahhh, thanks for those Drake.

This should be the proper descroption

Name:One Foot in the Grave
Effect: Elijah can summon 3 corpses any surface within a 40 meter area.. They are not mobile and as such have to be manually used by Elijah however he deems fit.

"Wield the weak" Is an error on my part. It should say "Wield the blade".

And thank you for all the wording changes, I really needed those.
"An Immovable Wall of Flesh, ever rising, until the end."

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#87

Post by Silverdrake » Sat Sep 09, 2017 3:47 pm

Vladkre33 wrote:
Wed Sep 06, 2017 5:07 pm
Name:One Foot in the Grave
Effect: Elijah can summon 3 corpses any surface within a 40 meter area.. They are not mobile and as such have to be manually used by Elijah however he deems fit.
"Elijah can summon 3 corpses from any surface individually within a 40 meter area"

So it can be from different surfaces as he chooses. Is it always 3 or up to 3? Is the area radius or diameter?
And thank you for all the wording changes, I really needed those.
Ye're welcome. :)
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#88

Post by Silverdrake » Sat Sep 09, 2017 4:15 pm

Current (formerly?) approved technique:

Spirit kick
The user channels reiatsu to the bottoms of her feet, grabs reishi from the immediate area, and expels it explosively to create a brief, short-range movement (not more than 5 meters). The effect is nearly instantaneous, allowing the user to dodge otherwise undodgeable attacks or situations. (Cost: as level 10 kidou)


Requested change:

Name - Reishi Armor

Description: Tatsuki channels reiatsu to one or more areas of her body and draws in reishi, binding it to her reiryoku to create hardened surfaces. Her reiatsu may also be channeled into her zanpakutou for the same effects. The armor may be reinforced one time for duplicate cost. The armor and reinforcement is permanent until worn off or dispelled.

Reiatsu consumption - One kidou level-equivalent per percentage of body covered. Each zanpakutou blade or released weapon counts as 5%.

If cast on appropriate areas, Tatsuki may attack using force that would otherwise cause damage to herself or the zanpakutou. Reinforcement can be shaped to an extent (example: create claws or spikes, sharpen blunt surfaces or vice versa).

Several normal strikes or a single heavy one from opponents within Tatsuki's power range (Tatsuki's reiatsu control vs opponent's attack skill) will wear off the base armor and require it to be recast over that area.

Reinforced armor will wear off from several strikes up to one power range higher than Tatsuki's, or special techniques and powered strikes from opponents within her range.

Armor used to block an attack of greater power than as stated above will shatter after mitigating proportional damage, and cannot be recast for one post.

Alternate Use:

Reishi Burst

Bound reishi can be explosively expelled to:
1. enable near-instantaneous movement over short distances (max 5m for base armor, 10m for reinforced).
2. add power to attacks ^Blunt attacks gain similar knockback increase.
3. create an ablative counterforce

Any of these uses will require the armor to be recast over that area.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#89

Post by Aegis Raiu » Sat Sep 16, 2017 10:35 am

<<BANKAI>>

Zanpakuto's full name: Kagutsuchi.
Release command: Bankai! Hageshīdesu Fenikkusu! (Raging Phoenix)

Appearance: Upon activation, a spiralling outward burst of wind and red coloured spiritual energy strong enough to distort vision and knock back opponents up to twice his size a few meters back, violently emits from Darius to reveal a unique appearance created from the union of souls, Darius' hair assumes a gold fiery colour and extends a few inches longer, becoming rigid and spiky upwards. Two thin gold bangs curve downwards on both sides of his face like bear cannine teeth and his eyes adopt the same gold yellow aura. Darius' muscle tones become more pronounced and exposed as his clothings become sleeveless and ragged body-fitting black Shihakkusho with a thin blue obi(sash) tied in a knot around his waist. He loses his waraji(brown sandals) and sports on an ankle-length jika-tabi(traditional split-toe Japanese socks). His gauntlets remain physically unchanged but also expand slightly to accommodate his increased arm size.

BANKAI ABILITIES
Element: Earth and Fire

Abilty 1
Element: Phoenix fire
Ability name: Kyōka sa reta taiyō no kagayaki(Enhanced solar radiance)
Type: Passive
Description: When this ability is activated, Darius gains a pair of 6m long wings made entirely of flames which can cocoon him entirely if need be. It is attached to his Reiraku by powerful strands of Reishi and as such cannot be seperated from him. His ability to create and manipulate high intensity flames become finetuned with immense heat reaching 30,000℉ to achieve offensive and defensive purposes, as well as flight. As he uses this ability he naturally emits immense levels of suffocating heat on the surrounding environment that could cause weaker opponents to perspire for air. His flight proficiency and maneuverability is dependent on his Reiatsu level.
*His flames gain a sticky attribute, as they now stick to materials that naturally dont burn such as stone till it is rent to ashes. This excludes sentient beings/weapons(Zanpaktou) but their clothes are still subject to the initial effect until extinguished.
*Darius is not affected by this flame as it is made from his Reiatsu.
*The power and intensity of the flame is dependent on the amount of Reiatsu he focuses.
Ability 2
Element: Earth and Fire
Ability type: Passive
Ability name: Jishin; Gōremu no sakusei (Earthquake; Golem creation )
Ability description: Upon activation, the earth within a 150m radius quakes violently (comparable to a level 9.0 magnitude earth quake), splitting apart large areas of the earth to reveal hot dense liquids otherwise known as magma. These are heated molten earth from the earth's core reaching intensely heated temperatures and pressure. Such that it actively explodes from the pool in form of pillars at random or by command. Darius is now able to construct and manipulate a massive lava golem of nearly 200ft. It is capable of spewing large streams of magma from its face, as well as shoot out its fist as a fast moving projectile.
*Contact with the lava would result in major 3rd degree burns and excruciating pain.
Abilty 3
Element: Earth and fire
Ability: Yōgan-jūno ugoki(Lava beast movement)
Ability type: Passive
Ability description: Darius typically assumes an energized form that emits intense golden light and heat. Now completely covered in fiery energy, Darius' impulses are heightened, granting him mobility and strength increase by one level.
*Unprotected physical contact with Darius in this state would result in the same effect as making contact with the lava.
*Darius is not affected by the lava as it is made from his Reiatsu.
Ability 4
Element: Earth
Ability name: Terramanipulation
Description: An upgraded version of terramanipulation, Darius gains finetuned control over all forms of earth over a wider area of 100m.
*He retains his vibrations sensing on the earth as ripples, remaining unable to guage the power of said individual.
Ability 5
Element: Phoenix fire
Ability name: Amaterasu no noroi(Amaterasu's curse)
Type: Active
Description: Once per spar and usually as a last resort, the clouds darken and block out the sun as though a heavy thunderstorm was in play and five(5) expanding rings of fire appear on the earth at a 10m gap from eachother covering a 50m radius with Darius at its epicenter. A manifestation of his true power comes forth as a massive spiralling pillar of yellow flames violently erupts upwards from the earth within a 50m radius in a massive devastating blast. Comparable to a level 99 Kidou.

Ability 6
Ability Type: Passive
Ability name: Maddodoragon; Sokkansei chikyū torappu(Mud dragons: quick-drying earthtrap)
Ability Description: The surrounding earth quakes briefly before three(3) snake-like dragons made entirely of mud_erupt violently upwards from the earth beneath the target/targets, packing along with them powerful concussive force strong enough to break a tree trunk on impact. However, from their mouths they spew large powerful streams of sticky, quick-drying mud that move as powerful mud waves, enough to engulf a 50m radius of dry land in a river of mud. The uniqueness of this technique comes in the mud's ability to dry rapidly once anything/person is caught in it, thus engulfing them completely and trapping them in a thick layer of solidified earth.
*This mud wave is slowed when it absorbs water_as it soaks up large bodies of water like a sponge.
*Said mud will remain as liquid mud until it comes in contact with something/someone before engulfing it and solidifying.
*The mud dragons will remain active and will be manipulated by Darius for the duration of his Bankai.
*Darius is unaffected by this mud as it is made from his Reiatsu.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#90

Post by Asano » Mon Sep 25, 2017 10:39 pm

I’ve revised both my Shikai and Bankai a bit. For Shikai I’ve moved the stance thing and tweaked things a bit in regards to how blade resonance works, especially in regards to Chikyuu. I’ve added a new 4th ability in place of the old one. If it’s too much for the Shikai, I’ll add in the same restrictions as the Bankai’s Iaijutsu, or the silencing effect. Although with the drawbacks I’ve imposed I feel it’s fine.
Edit: No I think I’ll add in the silencing affect.

For Bankai, I’ve expanded its weaknesses by making even the sheath unusuable. Additionally I’ve added a silencing effect on the user, preventing the user of techniques requiring their name to be called. Lastly I’ve added in a cooldown time between the use of each of the Bankai’s abilities.

Zanpakutou: Reijin
Sealed state appearance: Reijin in its sealed state is a standard Katana with four-pointed star as it’s guard.

Shikai:
Name: Reijin (霊刃, Spirit Blade)
Release Command: Kirisuteru (切り捨てる, cut away)
Inner World:
Image
Spirit Appearance:
Image
Shikai Appearence: In it’s shikai state, Reishi becomes a much more ornate. The blade itself become white, with a golden stripe running the tip down the middle of the blade to the hilt. The guard transforms and resembles a blossoming lotus flower.
Shikai Description: Reijin is an old spirit with an incredible fondness for tradition and fundamentals. The old spirit of the blade holds such discipline in high reverence. This discipline comes in the form of three stances called Shisei. When techniques are executed from either stance, Reijin's power resonates and forms harmony with the soul of Blademaster and allows the full potential of the the blade to be realized. When blade resonance occurs, one of three uniques mark known as Sen (閃, flash) appear on the blade.

The stances are as follows:
  • Gyouten Shisei (暁天の姿勢, Dawn Sky Stance): In this stance, the user stands with their left foot is forward, with the sword held pointing upright. The hilt is positioned just in front of the right shoulder, and the blade should leaning slightly to the behind the user’s head. This stance is derived from the Hassou stance, and is the most balanced of the three.
    • Techniques executed from this stance creates the Gyouten Sen (暁天の閃). It looks like a 4-pointed star.
  • Yaten Shisei (夜天の姿勢, Night Sky Stance):
    In this stance the sword is held out in front of the body with the point of the blade angled near the floor or near the waste. This stance is derived from the Gedan stance, and and serves as the defensive and deceptive stance.
    • Techniques executed from this stance creates the Yaten Sen (夜天の閃). It looks like a crescent moon.
  • Shinten Shisei (震天の姿勢, Quaking Heaven Stance): In this stance, the sword held raised above the head with the tip pointing back while the blade faces. This stance is derived from the Joudan stance and serves as the more aggressive of the three stances.
    • Techniques executed from this stance creates the Shinten Sen (震天の閃). It looks like a tomoe.
  • Muten Shisei (無天の姿勢, No Sky Stance): A stance separate from the other three. Muted Shisei on essence has no defined form, or refers to any stance not recognized by Reijin.
    • Techniques done from in this stance do no create Sen.
  • Only one of each Sen, up to a total of three, can exist at any given point in time.
Shikai Abilities:

Ability: Hissatsu Ken: Suimei (必殺剣•水明, Certain Death Blade: Shimmering Water)
Element: None
Type: Active.
Descriptions: An attack designed for the sole purpose of cutting an enemy down at close range (2m). As a result of any of the user’s slashing attacks done while calling out the word “Suimei”, a trail of hundreds of smaller slashing blades known as hakaze (刃風, blade wind) is formed. Upon manifestation, the mass of small blades appears like sunlight reflecting off gentle waters.
  • From Gyouten Shisei: The Hakaze covers a wide (20m) conical area.
    • The concentration of Hakaze becomes much lesser as it moves from the point of execution, making it much less effective as it travels. Conversely, the concentration is much higher at close range thus making the potential to do harm much greater.
  • From Yaten Shisei: Rather than flowing from Reijin, the Hakaze manifests upward from the ground beneath the opponent when the userthrusts forward, from the air behind the opponent with an upward slash, and from the air on the opposite side when slashing from either the left or right.
    • In either case, the opponent must be within striking distance of the user.
  • From Shinten Shisei:The Hakaze flows down from above the user and opponent almost like a rain of blades in a 2m radius. From this stance the blades are concentrated in a tighter area, making their potential to do harm significantly greater.
    • Use of this technique from this stance also poses some risk to the user as well.
  • From Muten Shisei: The hakaze flows from Reijin at half the normal distance.
Ability: Hissatsu Ken: Anbu Zangeki (必殺剣•暗部斬撃, Certain Death Blade: Dark side slashing)
Element: None
Type: Active
Descriptions: An attack purely steeped in the art of deception. When the user attacks and calls out “Anbu Zangeki”, a phantom hand appears and quickly draws an ephemeral blade to make its attack. Upon manifestation, appears as if death itself is seeking to claim the life of its victims.
  • From Gyouten Shisei: The phantom hand manifests from the user’s chest, and thrusts it’s blade forward at the target.
  • From Yaten Shisei: The phantom hand manifests from the user’s shadow and slashes directly towards the the opponent.
  • From Shinten Shisei: The phantom hand manifests anywhere within a 1m distance from user and swings however the user pleases.
    • The phantom hand from this stance cannot manifest from any of the locations tied to the other stances.
  • Cannot be used without first assuming a defined stance.
  • This skill can be used in conjunction with ”Suimei”.
    • In this case the command becomes “Suimei Zangeki”.
    • The Emphemeral blade also generates a second Hakaze, albeit to a lesser degree than the original blade.
    • The direction in which the ephemeral blade’s Hakaze flows is dependent on the stance used and the direction of the attack (where applicable).
  • This skill can also be used with Chikyuu Zangeki.
    • In this case the command becomes “Anbu Nikushimi”.
    • The effects of the emphemeral blade’s uheaval are dependent on the stance used.

Ability: Hissatsu Ken: Chikyuu no Nikushimi Zangeki (必殺剣•地球斬撃の憎しみ, Certain Death Blade: Hatred of Earth Slash)
Element: None
Type: Active
Descriptions: After gaining Sen, the user draws on the full power of the blade. Making use of this power, they cut into or at the earth while calling “Chikyuu Zangeki” to cause an upheaval. Upon upheaval, it appears as if a dragon sleeping beneath the earth is awakening with righteous fury.
  • From Gyouten Shisei: By cutting into the earth from this stance, the user causes a numerous small shards of sharp stone (or whatever other material) to fly forward at the opponent. The more strength driven into the attack the further and faster the debris moves.
    • Only usable after gaining the Gyouten Sen.
    • The effective range is 25m.
    • The number of stones flung forward is 250.
  • From Yaten Shisei: By cutting into the earth from this stance, the user either directs dust and debris into the targets eyes, or creates a large cloud of dust around themselves.
    • Only usable after gaining the Yaten Sen.
    • The dust cloud covers an 8m radius.
  • From Shinten Shisei: By directing the power of the blade at the earth from this powerful stance, the user causes six large chunks to rise up in all directions covering a 5m radius. These large portions of upturned earth can be used as cover, or can strike opponents from below, sending them backwards or upwards.
    • No direct contact needs to be made to trigger the effects. The force from the swing is sufficient enough to produce the effect.
  • From Muten Shisei This technique can take the same form as when done from any of the stances, however the effects and ranges are halved.
Ability: Bushi no Haiku (武士の俳句, Smaurai’s Haiku)
Element: None
Type: Passive
Description: After gaining Sen, the user draws on the true power of the blade by consuming it and increasing the strength of their voice. In response to the user’s strengthened voice, Reijin works harder and the potential any techniques used thereafter is increased. However doing so results in dissonance, thus preventing additional resonance for a short time. Additionally the use of this power strains the user’s voice, preventing them from using it for a short period of time. As such, techniques requiring their name to be called, including Kidou, cannot be used during this time.
  • Daiichi no Inbun (第一の韻文, First Verse):
    Flowers bloom in spring.
    • Doubles the range, the potency, and all other associated effects all techniques.
      • Consumes one Sen.
      • Prevents the creation of new Sen for 2 posts.
      • Use of the first verse silences the user, preventing the use of any ability requiring its name to be called including Kidou for 1 post.
  • Daini no Inbun (第二の韻文, Second Verse):
    Bushi draw their blades and weep.
    • Triples the range, the potency, and all other associated effects all techniques.
    • Consumes two Sen.
    • Prevents the creation of new Sen for 3 posts.
    • Use of the first verse silences the user, preventing the use of any ability requiring its name to be called including Kidou for 2 posts.
  • Daisan no Inbun (第三の韻文, Third Verse):
    For blood taints the earth.
    • Quadruples the range, potency, and all other associated effects all techniques.
    • Consumes three Sen.
    • Prevents creation of new Sen for 4 posts.
    • Also silences the user, preventing them from using any technique requiring a name to be called including Kidou for 3 posts.
    • Bankai cannot be activated during the silence period.


    Bankai:

    Name: Tenka Reijin (天下霊刃, Peerless Spirit Blade).
    Description: Upon activation of Bankai, the blade must be sheathed. This act represents the user staking their life, and the whole of their existence on the strength and wisdom of the sword. Doing so allows the user to perform three immensely powerful Iaijutsu, at the cost of leaving the user vulnerable.
    Appearance: Tenka Reijin takes the form of an old rusted version of its Shikai appearance.
    • While This Bankai is active, the user cannot draw or otherwise make use of the blade or its sheath except to perform Iaijutsu.
    • Additionally the user is silenced, preventing them from using ability any requiring its name to be called, except for Iaijutsu.

    Ability: Uta no Ken (歌の剣, Blade song)
    Type: Active
    Element: Dark/Light
    Description: The songs sung by Tenka Reijin comes from the proof that it is a blade forged by the perfect harmonization of the user’s inner most strength, and the blade’s razor sharp edge. Regrettably, the joining results in a sorrowful tale told in three songs. By resonating with the user, the blade sings out it tragic tale, and with it calls forth destruction. Each time the blade resonates (or has resonated) a unique mark known as Sen (閃, flash) appears on the blade.
    • Daiichi no Uta: Kasha (第一の歌•華奢, First Song: Wheel of Flowers)
      Story:
      The first song is the tale of a fierce typhoon that sweeps through the lands, laying waste to countless innocent lives. Appearing amidst the wreckage a bed of cherry blossom petals upturned and thrown about by the storm. A sight as ugly as it was beautiful. When man was able to rebuild from the calamity, they forsook the gods that allow such misfortune to befall them, and turned to lives of sin and sacrilege.
      Description: This ability is an empowered version of Suimei Zangeki, where rather than creating two Hakaze of thousands of blades following the attack of the user, and the first phantom blade. A second phantom blade manifests to create a third Hakaze of hundreds of blades. Following the attack, a bed of cherry blossoms is left behind, much like the one in the story.
      • Where Hakaze flows from can be the same as anywhere the Hakaze flows when used from any of the three unique Shisei.
      • Can only be used if exactly one Sen is present.
      • This song causes resonance to occur.
      • The blade must be immediately sheathed to rest it’s voice following this attack, and cannot be drawn for one post.
    • Daini no Uta: Mangetsu (第二の歌•満月, Second song: Fullmoon)
      Story:
      The second song is a tale of when the gods left man behind. Unable to forgive the endless flow of sin, the gods turned their back on mankind and left the world in complete darkness. The ceaseless black drove many mad and to death by their own hands, while others remained hopeful as the delusion or memory of moonlight gave them the will to live. It was a befitting punishment. To be forever lost to madness, or to be killed by it. The gods cared too much dirty their hands and erase their creations on their own, but leaving mankind to further undo themselves weighed much less on the hearts of the gods for a time...
      Description: This ability is an empowered version of Chikyuu no Nikushimi Zangeki. This ability first violent upturns the earth, and creates a dense cloud of dust that blots out all natural sources of light. Amidst the seemingly never-ending darkness, the user’s reiatsu coalesces in the sky to form a small shimmering light in the far off distance recreating the memory of moonlight from the story. This reiatsu moon creates the illusion of light within the darkness, and the illusion of the user’s image preparing to launch a massive attack appears directly in front the opponent. After darkness has taken a firm hold, a barrage of ten thousand small rock shards bombards the victim.
      • The cloud remains in place and will continue to blot out all light until somehow dispersed, or when the Bankai is sealed.
      • Can only be used with exactly two Sen present.
      • This song causes further resonance to occur.
      • The blade must be sheathed immediately after this attack to rest its voice, and cannot be drawn again for 3 posts.
      • True light returns after at the start of the user’s next post, if the techniques is not.
    • Saigo no Uta: Midaare Setsugekka (最後の歌•乱れ雪月花, Final Song: Disturbance of Snow, Moon, and Flowers).
      Story:
      This song was first sung by the sorrowful gods after realizing their folly. This song foretells their ultimate demise by their own hands. Ashamed and upset by their overly harsh response to mankind the gods reasoned that they too deserved the same fate for their transgressions. The heavens and all of creation would be plunged into the ultimate state of chaos, ridding them, mankind, and all mistakes from existence.
      Description: The ultimate iaijutsu, and culmination of all of Reijin’s techniques. The result is an occurrence that can only be described as pure chaos.

      This powerful attack comes in three phases. First, a chilling darkness sweeps over the land, binding self, friend, and foe alike. While blinded by the dark, the user trusts that the blade will see the attack strike true, and swings to initate the second phase.

      A blizzard of steel as cold as winter erupts and flows outward as the user swings their blade. The result is a jarring shift from pitch-blackness to a gentle white, as tens of thousands of Hakaze blade’s saturate the landscape and seek to cut away all in their path. When finished, the blades litter the ground to paint the image of a frozen wasteland. From there the final phase initiates.

      The phantom of the blade appears in full, revealing its faceless figure. It is dressed in the torn attire of a shogun that fought for 10,000 days and 10,000 nights without rest. The phantom hangs its head in sorrow, and turns away in fear of its own power and swings a moment after the user’s attack. This swing creates a second storm, this time of blinding light. However, rather than the snow-like blades of the first swing, this second storm steel as warm as cherry blossom petals in the spring erupts from the phantom blade and flows forward.
      • If two Sen are present before Bankai is activated, a third Sen is created as soon as Bankai is activated.
        • As such, no other technique can be used, and the blade must remain sheathed until Midare Setsugekka is used.
      • This technique cannot be used until three Sen have been created.
      • None of Reijin’s other techniques can be used after all three Sen are present.
      • The radius of both storms cover is 150m.
      • After the darkness falls, the user cannot see or sense anything until after they swing their blade.
        • This effect is permanent until the blade is used, or until the Bankai is sealed.
        • The phantom however can see its target before it makes its attack.
      • While the first storm feels cold, and the second feels warm neither has an ice or fire affinity. This is merely a side-effect of the lack and abundance of light.
      • Upon completion of this technique, the blade must and the user must allow their voices to recover.
      • The blade is then forcibly sheathed, and reverts to its sealed state.
      • It cannot be drawn again for the remainder of the battle, and the user’s voice remains silenced for the rest of the battle.

It would come in a blur, and seek to lay waste to them all.
In a flash, the beast sought to let loose a calamity crafted by its own hands.
Its sole purpose to leave nothing but charred remains and ash...


Alpha
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#91

Post by Alpha » Fri Sep 29, 2017 8:08 pm

Zanpakuto:Bishamon
Sealed state:It comes in a dangerous form of a katana with a black hilt and an extremely sharp blade,on the hilt a long dangerous chain flows out and quietly wraps itself within Masamune' s clothings,this chain has a piercing like end

Shikai:Its Release Command is Banish


Type:Spatial manipulation

Uses:By moving the Sword Masamune can open rifts that lead to a matterless dimension,Masamune often refers to this action as "Banishments" which allows him to make his sword create voids/portals through which his zanpakuto can pass through and hit targets who are at times out of his range due to him seemingly cutting through space
TECHNIQUES

1)NAME:Threshold
Type:Active
This move allows black to slash through space and actually hit people who are not in any way close to him,this tecnique seems to have about a 20-25miles radius


2)Name:Banishment
Type:Passive


This is an ability manifested by black's chain alone which permits him to wrap itself around an opponent's body part through mind control,whichever body part that is touched by this chain seemingly warps the body part to the "null dimension" this leaves such body part open to attacks by Bishamon



3)Name:Banished
Type:Active

With this move black projects reiatsu into his zanpakuto and forcefully slashes the air before him,thus opening a gigantic rift that forcefully forces in anything before it





Release appearance:After the release the Sword doesnt really switch appearance,except for the elongation of the hilt and the appearance of ancient kanji markings on the blade that represent an ancient prayer


Spirit Personality:Bishamon is a female zanpakuto who really fits in the image given to her by her counterpart in the Japanese tradition,she is quite serious and doesnt waste time to voice her opinions on certain matters,for example when Masamune is seemingly being too cocky

Another factor is the fact that masamune's laid back behaviour often brings her to exasperation,but despite all this she seems to be beyond attached to her shinigami as she often voices out the fact that if Masamune kept on this behaviour his real emotions would completely fade,she also constantly states that the shinigami was hers and hers alone to deal with,which showed that she is very possessive towards him

Despite being very similar to her depiction by the Japanese in character,she although has a different approach on a certain manner which makes her very similar to Black,she loves winning,she seemingly would use whichever method at her disposal to assure her victory and blacks

In appearance she can be seen as a brown haired and green eyed beautiful woman,who dorns a multi coloured short kimono and also uses a katana with a blue hilt and scabbard,she also wears a pouch on her tight with unknown contents and finally her black sandals


Inner World:A green forest with an incredible amount of trees and flowers

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#92

Post by Asano » Mon Oct 02, 2017 10:23 am

Alpha wrote:
Fri Sep 29, 2017 8:08 pm
this tecnique seems to have about a 20-25miles radius
The radius is waaaaay to huge. This needs to come down significantly. Something a little less than miles would be wise.
3)Name:Banished
Type:Active

With this move black projects reiatsu into his zanpakuto and forcefully slashes the air before him,thus opening a gigantic rift that forcefully forces in anything before it.
Denie on the basis that this seems better suited as a Bankai ability, but also because it’s not explained what happens after one enters the void. You’ll have to explain what happens after that point.

Zanpakutou Denied.

It would come in a blur, and seek to lay waste to them all.
In a flash, the beast sought to let loose a calamity crafted by its own hands.
Its sole purpose to leave nothing but charred remains and ash...


Alpha
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Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2017 5:37 pm

Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#93

Post by Alpha » Thu Oct 05, 2017 2:07 am

Zanpakuto:Bishamon
Sealed state:It comes in a dangerous form of a katana with a black hilt and an extremely sharp blade,on the hilt a long dangerous chain flows out and quietly wraps itself within Masamune' s clothings,this chain has a piercing like end

Shikai:Its Release Command is Banish


Type:Spatial manipulation

Uses:By moving the Sword Masamune can open rifts that lead to a matterless dimension,Masamune often refers to this action as "Banishments" which allows him to make his sword create voids/portals through which his zanpakuto can pass through and hit targets who are at times out of his range due to him seemingly cutting through space
TECHNIQUES

1)NAME:Threshold
Type:Active
This move allows black to slash through space and actually hit people who are not in any way close to him,this tecnique seems to have about a 20-25metre radius


2)Name:Banishment
Type:Passive


This is an ability manifested by black's chain alone which permits him to wrap itself around an opponent's body part through mind control,whichever body part that is touched by this chain seemingly warps the body part to the "null dimension" this leaves such body part open to attacks by Bishamon



3)Name:Begone
Type:Active

Using the effects of his chain on himself which in this case seemingly need to be activated in order to be used,black mentally commands his chain to wrap itself around him,this creating a barrier through which any form of matter that attempts to pass through gets warped to the good,this seems to be black's main form of defence





Release appearance:After the release the Sword doesnt really switch appearance,except for the elongation of the hilt and the appearance of ancient kanji markings on the blade that represent an ancient prayer


Spirit Personality:Bishamon is a female zanpakuto who really fits in the image given to her by her counterpart in the Japanese tradition,she is quite serious and doesnt waste time to voice her opinions on certain matters,for example when Masamune is seemingly being too cocky

Another factor is the fact that masamune's laid back behaviour often brings her to exasperation,but despite all this she seems to be beyond attached to her shinigami as she often voices out the fact that if Masamune kept on this behaviour his real emotions would completely fade,she also constantly states that the shinigami was hers and hers alone to deal with,which showed that she is very possessive towards him

Despite being very similar to her depiction by the Japanese in character,she although has a different approach on a certain manner which makes her very similar to Black,she loves winning,she seemingly would use whichever method at her disposal to assure her victory and blacks

In appearance she can be seen as a brown haired and green eyed beautiful woman,who dorns a multi coloured short kimono and also uses a katana with a blue hilt and scabbard,she also wears a pouch on her tight with unknown contents and finally her black sandals


Inner World:A green forest with an incredible amount of trees and flowers

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#94

Post by Asano » Sat Oct 07, 2017 2:13 pm

1)NAME:Threshold
Type:Active
This move allows black to slash through space and actually hit people who are not in any way close to him,this tecnique seems to have about a 20-25metre radius

For this one you should replace actually with “attempt to”. This makes the ability seem like it’s not automatically hitting someone.
2)Name:Banishment
Type:Passive
This is an ability manifested by black's chain alone which permits him to wrap itself around an opponent's body part through mind control,whichever body part that is touched by this chain seemingly warps the body part to the "null dimension" this leaves such body part open to attacks by Bishamon
Forgive my previous error, but I misread this ability the first time I looked at it. I will have to recommend changing this entirely because controlling people, even if partially is forbidden.


3)Name:Begone
Type:Active

Using the effects of his chain on himself which in this case seemingly need to be activated in order to be used,black mentally commands his chain to wrap itself around him,this creating a barrier through which any form of matter that attempts to pass through gets warped to the good ,this seems to be black's main form of defence.
I’m not sure what I highlited in red was a mistake or not, but in either case I’m unable to understand what that means. Could you either correct the mistake or explain this to me a bit better please?


Zanpakutou Denied.

It would come in a blur, and seek to lay waste to them all.
In a flash, the beast sought to let loose a calamity crafted by its own hands.
Its sole purpose to leave nothing but charred remains and ash...


Alpha
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Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2017 5:37 pm

Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#95

Post by Alpha » Sun Oct 08, 2017 8:15 am

Zanpakuto:Bishamon
Sealed state:It comes in a dangerous form of a katana with a black hilt and an extremely sharp blade,on the hilt a long dangerous chain flows out and quietly wraps itself within Masamune' s clothings,this chain has a piercing like end

Shikai:Its Release Command is Banish


Type:Spatial manipulation

Uses:By moving the Sword Masamune can open rifts that lead to a matterless dimension,Masamune often refers to this action as "Banishments" which allows him to make his sword create voids/portals through which his zanpakuto can pass through and hit targets who are at times out of his range due to him seemingly cutting through space
TECHNIQUES

1)NAME:Threshold
Type:Active
This move allows black to slash through space and attempt to hit people who are not in any way close to him,this tecnique seems to have about a 20-25metre radius


2)Name:Banishment
Type:Passive


This is an ability manifested by black's chain alone which permits he chain to attempt wrapping itself around objects,the chain can also be mind controlled,whichever object that is touched by this chain seemingly because abstract in our dimension and physical in the "null dimension" this leaves such body part open to attacks by Bishamon



3)Name:Begone
Type:Active

Using the effects of his chain on himself which in this case seemingly need to be activated in order to be used,black mentally commands his chain to wrap itself around him,this creating a barrier through which any form of matter that attempts to pass through gets warped to the "mill dimension",this seems to be black's main form of defence





Release appearance:After the release the Sword doesnt really switch appearance,except for the elongation of the hilt and the appearance of ancient kanji markings on the blade that represent an ancient prayer


Spirit Personality:Bishamon is a female zanpakuto who really fits in the image given to her by her counterpart in the Japanese tradition,she is quite serious and doesnt waste time to voice her opinions on certain matters,for example when Masamune is seemingly being too cocky

Another factor is the fact that masamune's laid back behaviour often brings her to exasperation,but despite all this she seems to be beyond attached to her shinigami as she often voices out the fact that if Masamune kept on this behaviour his real emotions would completely fade,she also constantly states that the shinigami was hers and hers alone to deal with,which showed that she is very possessive towards him

Despite being very similar to her depiction by the Japanese in character,she although has a different approach on a certain manner which makes her very similar to Black,she loves winning,she seemingly would use whichever method at her disposal to assure her victory and blacks

In appearance she can be seen as a brown haired and green eyed beautiful woman,who dorns a multi coloured short kimono and also uses a katana with a blue hilt and scabbard,she also wears a pouch on her tight with unknown contents and finally her black sandals


Inner World:A green forest with an incredible amount of trees and flowers

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#96

Post by Asano » Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:59 pm

I’m really close to letting it pass but I’m a bit concerned about the last ability here.
3)Name:Begone
Type:Active

Using the effects of his chain on himself which in this case seemingly need to be activated in order to be used,black mentally commands his chain to wrap itself around him,this creating a barrier through which any form of matter that attempts to pass through gets warped to the "mill dimension",this seems to be black's main form of defence
I think being able to warp away all matter that touches the barrier is a bit too strong to be fair here. Matter is virtually everywhere. Weapons, most attacks, even people themselves are made of matter and this is the perfect defense against all those things with no apparent flaw or drawback.

I’m fine with barriers, even very strong barriers. But all barriers can be broken with sufficient enough force. This ability doesn’t have that. Also I’ll say that I’m aware that the barrier only deals with matter which leave vulnerability to energy on the table still, but as I already mentioned matter is basically everywhere and near everything is made up of it. So, the barrier against it is a bit too much.

Perhaps if it used a bunch of energy when activated, or it could only warp away a certain amount of whatever is hitting it, or otherwise it’s overall effectiveness was limited to a much greater extent than it isn’t right now, then perhaps I could let it pass. Though I’d wonder if it was something much more worthy of being a Bankai skill then something for Shikai.

Still denied

It would come in a blur, and seek to lay waste to them all.
In a flash, the beast sought to let loose a calamity crafted by its own hands.
Its sole purpose to leave nothing but charred remains and ash...


Alpha
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Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2017 5:37 pm

Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#97

Post by Alpha » Wed Oct 11, 2017 2:05 pm

Zanpakuto:Bishamon
Sealed state:It comes in a dangerous form of a katana with a black hilt and an extremely sharp blade,on the hilt a long dangerous chain flows out and quietly wraps itself within Masamune' s clothings,this chain has a piercing like end

Shikai:Its Release Command is Banish


Type:Spatial manipulation

Uses:By moving the Sword Masamune can open rifts that lead to a matterless dimension,Masamune often refers to this action as "Banishments" which allows him to make his sword create voids/portals through which his zanpakuto can pass through and hit targets who are at times out of his range due to him seemingly cutting through space
TECHNIQUES

1)NAME:Threshold
Type:Active
This move allows black to slash through space and attempt to hit people who are not in any way close to him,this tecnique seems to have about a 20-25metre radius


2)Name:Banishment
Type:Passive


This is an ability manifested by black's chain alone which permits he chain to attempt wrapping itself around objects,the chain can also be mind controlled,whichever object that is touched by this chain seemingly because abstract in our dimension and physical in the "null dimension" this leaves such body part open to attacks by Bishamon



3)Name:Begone
Type:Active

Using the effects of his chain on himself which in this case seemingly need to be activated in order to be used,black mentally commands his chain or his sword to make a swipe motion,this motion creates a ripple/shockwave type of effect that is used to warp attacks it comes in contact with,it is mainly used for defence





Release appearance:After the release the Sword doesnt really switch appearance,except for the elongation of the hilt and the appearance of ancient kanji markings on the blade that represent an ancient prayer


Spirit Personality:Bishamon is a female zanpakuto who really fits in the image given to her by her counterpart in the Japanese tradition,she is quite serious and doesnt waste time to voice her opinions on certain matters,for example when Masamune is seemingly being too cocky

Another factor is the fact that masamune's laid back behaviour often brings her to exasperation,but despite all this she seems to be beyond attached to her shinigami as she often voices out the fact that if Masamune kept on this behaviour his real emotions would completely fade,she also constantly states that the shinigami was hers and hers alone to deal with,which showed that she is very possessive towards him

Despite being very similar to her depiction by the Japanese in character,she although has a different approach on a certain manner which makes her very similar to Black,she loves winning,she seemingly would use whichever method at her disposal to assure her victory and blacks

In appearance she can be seen as a brown haired and green eyed beautiful woman,who dorns a multi coloured short kimono and also uses a katana with a blue hilt and scabbard,she also wears a pouch on her tight with unknown contents and finally her black sandals


Inner World:A green forest with an incredible amount of trees and flowers

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#98

Post by Asano » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:03 pm

Hmmm... I’ll approve it this time. Seems okay enough now.

It would come in a blur, and seek to lay waste to them all.
In a flash, the beast sought to let loose a calamity crafted by its own hands.
Its sole purpose to leave nothing but charred remains and ash...


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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#99

Post by PhoenixDayne » Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:10 pm

Zanpakutou - Kagutsuchi
Sealed state appearance: Kagutsuchi, in its sealed state, is three in number, and its appearance is a regular katana with a crescent moon shaped at the epicenter of the blade.

Shikai:

Name: Kagutsuchi
(カグツチ The Fire God of war)

Release command: Genshō shimasu, Kagutsuchi(減少します Diminish, Fire God of war)


Inner world:
Image

Spirit Appearance:
The spirit appearance of Akuta's blade is unknown as three entities reside in his inner world. As such, the three entities are considered the spiritual representation of his blade as all bestow powers into Akuta.
FB_IMG_15185390075545652.jpg
Image
FB_IMG_15182105192929989.jpg

Shikai appearance:
During his shikai change, his blades merged into one as series of chains sprouted out from within the blades, warping and roaming round Akuta. Akuta, himself, undergoes a drastic change as he dons on a mask while abandoning most of his regular dressing for a better one, the dress and mask is believed to be forged from the burst of reiatsu which solidified and condensed into masked and an outfit.
After the series of changes, his blade divides back into three but styled differently from before, the three blades becomes longer and wrapped with reiatsu, the hilt is stringed with chains which manifested as a consolidation of his will.
CYMERA_20180218_013719.jpg

Shikai abilities:

Elements: perception control


General ability name;Awakening
Passive
Description:Due to his path of fighting, mainly focusing on tactical and strategic, he has awakened to a new state of mind, not only does his processes heighten, his field of perception is projected in a 25metre radius.

Ability 1: Overflux(Awakening I)
]•With his thought, reflexes and ultimately, his brain processes being heightened, he's able to detect the slight change in perception of an opponent, through the little sound their steps make, or through their bodily action which his sense of hearing, smelling and seeing will definitely capture, be it seen and unseen, this gifts him the strength to move reflexively allowing his body motioning to dodge attacks, and parry those he can't Dodge, however, if the speed of an opponent is too overwhelming, he can do little to nothing to escape its grasp. He can maintain such evasiveness for about 3posts before the effects wears of, however, he's able to use this skill after a minimal rest period of about 4posts, the longer the rest period, the higher he could use it.(4 posts rest period of this ability will permit a one time use before going into another 4post rest period, however, should he continue this ability rest period to 5posts, he could use it in 2straight posts, 7posts rest period, 3straight posts, 9posts, 4straight posts before resetting to the default rest period)

Ability 2: Overflow(Awakening II)
•anyone caught in his field of perception gets their perception overly maxed out or tremendously slowed down to the extent that they can't follow the movements of an opponent no longer, which mostly makes the opponent to liken Akuta to a speedster. When heightened, their body can't keep up this leads to overspeeding of their body which subsequently causes their body to deteriorate possibly forcing them into a suffocating condition, faster tiring out, forced out reiatsu, and the likes.


Element: Nuclear energy

Ability 3: Infinite Works


Nuclear energy, the user can manipulate nuclear reactions for variety of purposes.
In this sense, it is commonly used for its combustive and explosive property.

•Anything touched by Akuta's reiatsu, blade and body part, be it opponents' body part or objects, the body part literally explodes or becomes a ticking time bomb which explodes rapidly causing very high and in some instances, the explosion covers wide range, decapitatinng the body part. However, if the opponent possesses great reiatsu, he can minimize or totally come of unscathed by forcing the explosive particles and the attached reiatsu out.

• By releasing a radiative gas in a 15-20 metre range(omnidirectional), he's able to forcible cause a large scale explosion, which is indiscriminate.
However, once used for two posts straight, he has to wait for 5-6posts to pass by before he can use it again.

•His blood alone is explosive, and as such, once cut and the blood stays on the blade or any piece of clothing, upon command, the blood will eventually explode.

(Akuta is unaffected By explosions as his reiatsu and blood are made of nuclear energy which will calm off the explosion away from his person)
The power of this ability is equal to any spell akuta can cast in terms of kidou.


Element: Perception
Ability name: Unrealistic

Akuta perception, actually, is the workings of his imagination, with that, his perception of things and what he imagines can be project into the field while displacing his prior location.
•He can set up afterimages and mirages while displacing his location in another place, this simply means that, while in another location, he can set up afterimages,mirages, clones, which are tangible and disperse as soon as they are attacked.

•With this, he's able to cloak himself, temporary vanishing from the field, however, he can be sensed.

•lastly, with his imaginations achieving realism, he can make tangible constructs which does not exceed 30-40cm in length, capable of certain effects, such as blinding light emission, electrocution stasis and the likes(It isn't limited to weapons, as constructs like exoskeletons and prosthetics can be achieve realism) however, the effects are not really effective. The demand for reiatsu is directly proportional to the effects and structure of the construct.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#100

Post by Asano » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:16 am

Akuta, himself, undergoes a drastic change as he dons on a mask while abandoning most of his regular dressing for a better one, the dress and mask is believed to be forged from the burst of reiatsu which solidified and condensed into masked and an outfit.
Ummm... this is a Bankai...
General ability name;Awakening
Passive
Description:Due to his path of fighting, mainly focusing on tactical and strategic, he has awakened to a new state of mind, not only does his processes heighten, his field of perception is projected in a 25metre radius.
A bit of a warning here, but first, you should change field of perception into field of influence. Your field of perception would mean your range of being able to perceive things, and you can’t teally project that. Also as is, you’d be grossly undercutting the natural abilities of a human as they are able to perceive things at much greater distances than what you described here.

Furthermore you should add this bit into Overflow beacause on its own this isn’t much of an ability. As it is written here, it really doesn’t do much at all.

Ability 1: Overflux(Awakening I)

With his thought, reflexes and ultimately, his brain processes being heightened, he's able to detect the slight change in perception of an opponent, through the little sound their steps make, or through their bodily action which his sense of hearing, smelling and seeing will definitely capture, be it seen and unseen, this gifts him the strength to move reflexively allowing his body motioning to dodge attacks, and parry those he can't Dodge, however, if the speed of an opponent is too overwhelming, he can do little to nothing to escape its grasp.

He can maintain such evasiveness for about 3posts before the effects wears of, however, he's able to use this skill after a minimal rest period of about 4posts, the longer the rest period, the higher he could use it.(4 posts rest period of this ability will permit a one time use before going into another 4post rest period, however, should he continue this ability rest period to 5posts, he could use it in 2straight posts, 7posts rest period, 3straight posts, 9posts, 4straight posts before resetting to the default rest period).
This should be the main part of the ability description. Put the rest in a spoiler.

This is very messy. You should clean it up with bullets.


Example:
  • 1 post of rest recharges Overflux to use for 1 post after.
  • 2 posts of rests recharges Overflux to use for 2 posts after.
  • etc.
Ability 2: Overflow(Awakening II)
anyone caught in his field of perception gets their perception overly maxed out or tremendously slowed down to the extent that they can't follow the movements of an opponent no longer, which mostly makes the opponent to liken Akuta to a speedster. When heightened, their body can't keep up this leads to overspeeding of their body which subsequently causes their body to deteriorate possibly forcing them into a suffocating condition, faster tiring out, forced out reiatsu, and the likes.

I actually have a slight issue with this upon re-reading this. You should simplify that to “it causes sensory overload, which can becomes exhausting after a while”. As it is now, it’s kinda messy.

Element: Nuclear energy

Ability 3: Infinite Works


Nuclear energy, the user can manipulate nuclear reactions for variety of purposes.
In this sense, it is commonly used for its combustive and explosive property.

Anything touched by Akuta's reiatsu, blade and body part, be it opponents' body part or objects, the body part literally explodes or becomes a ticking time bomb which explodes rapidly causing very high and in some instances, the explosion covers wide range, decapitatinng the body part. However, if the opponent possesses great reiatsu, he can minimize or totally come of unscathed by forcing the explosive particles and the attached reiatsu out.
You should state that the aforementioned effects are only a potential outcome. As they are now they seem more like a guarntee, aside from the note at then in. Which, in regards to that, you should note that those with sufficient physical strength/high defense otherwise would also be able to resist the attack from sheer might/resilience alone.
By releasing a radiative gas in a 15-20 metre range(omnidirectional), he's able to forcible cause a large scale explosion, which is indiscriminate.
However, once used for two posts straight, he has to wait for 5-6posts to pass by before he can use it again.
15-20m is not very large scale at all.

Consider rewriting the ability so that it’s more in line with the following concept in order to make it's various elements a tiny bit more cohesive:

“Akuta is able to channel, and to an extent manipulate highly destructive (nuclear) energy either through his blade, his blood, or releasing it in the form of gas.”

Furthermore, in essence you should attempt to layout the write up of this ability like the following given that they’re similar concepts:

Name: Theravada 
Type: Active [Release] / Passive [Charging]
Element: Darkness/ Fire
Description: Solus' Shadows exist as extensions of his being and are connected to his reiraku by the effects of this power . Using this link, the shadows are able to draw power from him at any point from anywhere. Using the power drawn from the vast wealth of Solus' spiritual energy, the shadows may then release the stored power in one of three forms. 
  • Theravada Onenju Form:
    In this form, Solus' reiatsu is shaped in to bead-like projectiles. 
    • At low levels (1-33), the spheres take the form of large beads and move comparably to bala and can be fired in great abundance. However the heat they hold is very weak. 
      • Heat to power ratio: 10° for every level of power. 
    • At mid levels (levels 34-66), the spheres are comparable to spells like shakkahou in both size and speed. The heat they hold is significantly higher than the predecessor form. 
      • Heat: 20° for every level of power.
    • Finally, in their strong forms (67-99) the sphere become quite massive. As such, they lack speed due to being so bloated with energy. However, these spheres explode on impact to devastating effect while covering a wide area. The heat in these spheres is immense. 
      • Heat: 30° for every level of power.
  • Theravada Homa Form: In this form, Solus' reiatsu is violently expelled in a short ranged burst of dark flames. 
    • Low level (1-33), bursts have a knock back force of one meter per level of power 
      • Heat: 15° for every level of power.
       
    • Mid level (34-66) bursts have a knock back force of three meters per level of power 
      • Heat: 15° for every level of power.
    • High level (67-99) bursts have a knock back force force of 6 meters per level of power 
      • Heat: 35° for every level of power.
  • Theravada Nirvana Form: In this form, Solus's reiatsu is released in the form of concentrated beams of heated energy. 
    • Low Level (1-33): At these levels the heat to power ratio is 20° for every level of power. 
    • Mid-level (34-66): At these levels, the heat to power ratio is 50° for every level of power. 
    • High level (67-99): At these levels, the heat to power ratio is 60° for every level of power. 
    • The range of the beams is dependent on the power used for them at a power to distance ratio of .5m for every level of power. 
    • Note:All temperatures are measured in °F. 
      • Each level of power is in direct comparison to that of a full powered kidou. 
    Charging Info:
    • Stored energy remains within the "shadows" or dark arms. Additional energy cannot be stored once limbs are charged to full power.
    • Limbs can be charge up to a total power of 100 (in comparison to a kidou spell)
    • Solus can elect to charge or stop charging Theravada as he pleases. By extension, how much he decides to charge the ability is his to decide, so long as it remains within the charge constraints.
    • Charging up to full power requires 3 posts. Full power may be used on the 3rd post.
Charge Time: 
      • Low Level: Instant
[Zetsriel Released Only]
      • Mid Level: 1 post
      • High Level: 3 Posts
    • Once a limb is charged or theravada is used, the energy used for the charge or the release may not return to Solus at any point.

Thematic note here: should consider making the gas something like evaporated sweat. Given that radioactivity is very closely associated with heat, would make sense that evaporated sweat would be the gas/catalyst of this ability.




Element: Perception
Ability name: Unrealistic

Akuta perception, actually, is the workings of his imagination, with that, his perception of things and what he imagines can be project into the field while displacing his prior location.

•He can set up afterimages and mirages while displacing his location in another place, this simply means that, while in another location, he can set up afterimages,mirages, clones, which are tangible and disperse as soon as they are attacked.

•With this,
Consider rewriting this ability so it's more in line with the following concept:

Through his ability to manipulate perception, Akuta is able to project the inner workings of his imagination while also masking his location. Futhermore, these projections can be used to accomplish the following tasks:

  • After Image Projection: He can set up afterimages and mirages which are tangible and disperse as soon as they are attacked.
  • Temporary Cloaking: he's able to cloak himself, temporary vanishing from the field, however, he can be sensed.
lastly, with his imaginations achieving realism, he can make tangible constructs which does not exceed 30-40cm in length, capable of certain effects, such as blinding light emission, electrocution stasis and the likes(It isn't limited to weapons, as constructs like exoskeletons and prosthetics can be achieve realism) however, the effects are not really effective. The demand for reiatsu is directly proportional to the effects and structure of the construct.
Unacceptable. You're already causing nuclear detonations, warping your opponent's perception and the like. Also giving yourself the ability to semi manipulate electricity, while also creating a variety of other tools, and armor.

Final note: I would remove the nuclear thing entirely. It's such a random and misplaced ability among what is clearly an Illusion/Perception warping zanpakutou. In consideration of the zanpakutou as a whole it seems so out of place with the rest of it. It's almost as bizarre as an Ice cube in a volcano. I'm not saying you can't do it, but I am pointing out that it's very random...

In any case, Zanpakutou [Denied]

It would come in a blur, and seek to lay waste to them all.
In a flash, the beast sought to let loose a calamity crafted by its own hands.
Its sole purpose to leave nothing but charred remains and ash...


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