Zanpakutou Workshop

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Shinoda
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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#201

Post by Shinoda » Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:05 am

Eduardo wrote:
Tue Jan 08, 2019 7:33 pm
Name : Hikitsukemasu
Ability: Mayatsumi is capable of attracting an individual towards him with the aid of this ability. He forms a sort of suction when he deliberately points his palm or zan towards his opponent. He does this by concentrating , absorbing or sucking in the air surrounding his opponent in which case, the air being suck ed in is what's pulling you towards him .Theoretically speaking, the ability uses the (1)same procedure as a vacuum cleaner only that it's a 100 times stronger. The ability could work within the range of about 300 metres
[/spoiler Mechanics :
- User activates this ability by saying KIMASU
-It takes 5% of the user's reiatsu
- The technique can be done with both his palm and his zanpakutou ]

Name : Ondo Kontorōru  ( Temperature control)
Elemnt: wind manipulation.
Ability : With this technique the user can compel his wind energy to adopt different temperatures by increasing or decreasing the rate of the movement of air molecules. When he reduces the speed of air molecules to the barest minimum the air cools down turning to ice. The maximum effective range could be about a 200 metres.
[/spoilerMechanics :- User activates this ability by saying KONDO
-It takes 10% of their total reiatsu
- The technique can only freeze materiality, meaning reiatsu is excluded, clothing yourself in reiatsu could be a way to resist this ability]


Name : Kūki-hō( Aerial blast)
Element : wind manipulation
Ability : User can create air cannons with this technique.  What's more to it is that he can perform this ability with any portion of his body(ears, eyes, legs etc), especially a full body cannon blast which usually costs more damage to the opponent. User does this by releasing a force of air  or wind towards a particular target area. There is no calculated amount to as how much he can make . The power of the blast could be as strong as a full on Shakkaho with incantation.
Also, the maximum effect range of the blast could spread up to about 250 metres. User can create blast with both his body and his zan
[/spoiler Mechanics : - User activates this ability by clasping his right fist in his left palm, it isn't voice activated
- It takes up to 5% of the user's reiatsu
- The blasts could be created from any region of his body (mouth, ears, etc]

Name: Dai kiatsu( Atmospheric pressure )
Element : wind manipulation
Ability :  User can increase or decrease the pressure of the atmosphere with this ability. By reducing the pressure within his person he becomes lighter.  By increasing it , he becomes heavy... It could also be done with his opponent. It's like a support technique. The maximum effective range could be about 400 metres
[/spoiler Mechanics :- User activates this ability by saying TAKEOVER
-It takes around 5% of his reiatsu]
(1) Hikitsukemasu is 100x the power of a vacuum cleaner? Vacuum cleaners don't all have the same suction power- plus that's not a reliable standard that people can easily reference. I know you're trying to do better, but reference Bleach techniques (e.g. Kido) or other well-known anime/manga techniques when doing power comparison. The range is... I would say you should to call that the maximum range. 300 metres is about the height of the Eiffel Tower, which is quite big for a Shikai. If you said that's the maximum range at a Captain-level reiatsu level, that would make more sense. Submit a re-write please.

(2) Ondo Kontorōru I would give the same comment I gave above about maximum range. Also, it is your choice, but even 5% is a large amount. I think your issue is you're thinking about it in percentage of your reiatsu, which is also not set. When you achieve different ranks, your reiatsu will change - and so will the strength of this technique. If that happens, the range would change - and then your ability doesn't make sense. Compare the ability's strength to a known standard of power (e.g. Kido) or a known level of destruction (i.e., "it could destroy this sort of object") which would remain at the same amount regardless of the user if cast at a normal/average/routine level. Another point to mention is that you should make mention that you can only create ice out of the available water in the air - if you use this ability in a desert environment, it's useless because there's so little water in the air. Submit a re-write please.

(3) For Kūki-hō, I make the same comment about maximum range. If you submit a revision of this, it's Conditionally Approved.

(4) OK, so for this ability I think you need to drastically decrease this. A range of 400 meters means you can do it 400m to the right, to the left, to the front, to the back. That means you can do it in an area of 800x800 square meters = 640000 square meters. That's close to a square kilometer, which is a battle-field altering ability. You can change the fight for an entire Division with this ability - and yet, I doubt that's your intention, and it's also an enormous amount of reiatsu. Is this what you're telling me? Because what I'm reading is that the average application is within the area of 1 square meter - the area that one person would occupy. Of course, my point early about maximum range at a Captain-level still applies - if that's what you'd like to do, that's acceptable. This ability still seems overpowered. Submit a re-write please.

Not Approved. Feel free to reach out through PM if you need more help or explanation.
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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#202

Post by Shinoda » Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:37 am

Indra wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:01 am
Shinoda wrote:
Thu Jan 03, 2019 3:54 pm
Indra wrote:
Thu Jan 03, 2019 11:11 am
Due to the fact that lightning and fire element users flooded the terrain..I decided to change for something different


Shikai Abilities:

Name: Sansei unmei (酸性運命, Acid fate)
Element(s): Acid and Vapour Manipulation
Command: "Melt off" (溶かす, Tokasu)
Description: In its Shikai, Sansei unmei's blade liquefies into a large pool of highly corrosive acid in molten form, capable melting almost anything (except Zanpakutoū) that it makes contact with, which deliquesce off from the hilt, leaving only the sword's handle in Promethazine's hand. The pool of acid initially drops to the ground, take form of a 'Hydra' (water snake), and then briefly swarm around Promethazine's body like a whirlwind before taking a restive motion. By swinging Sansei unmei's hilt or through hand gestures, Promethazine can control/manipulate the pool of acid in whatever way he sees fit, allowing him mold or structure it into any desired shape, weapons, barriers, projectiles, or blasts that emanate or move at a level lower than Promethazine's base speed which in turn cannot go beyond a distance of 40m. Sansei unmei can also be used for defensive purposes, as they can protect Promethazine from incoming attacks or projectiles in order to protect him from harm. Since Sansei unmei is one with Promethazine, he is ultimately immune to his Zanpakutoū's corrosive effects, as such, cannot be affected by acid element. Additionally, as long as Promenthazine's Shikai is active, Sansei unmei passively erects around Promenthazine's entirety, an unarguably condense ash fog made from vapour not more than 90cm of Promenthazine, which tends to obscure him from view of onlookers, thereby making it difficult to see physical movements done by Promenthazine in the fog.

Name: Saisho no unmei (最初の運命, First fate)
Element: Acid and Vapour Manipulation
Type: Active ability II
Command: Tōzakeru (遠ざける, Keep off)
Description: As soon as the command is triggered, the hilt of Sansei unmei will instantaneously magnetize all existenting molten acid towards Promenthazine's body to form some sort of cocoon around him, and then two processes will take place. Firstly, the vapour in form of condensed fog will fuse with the molten acid thereby turning it into a highly corrosive mist. Secondly, the acidic mist will begin to spread in an ominidirectional manner, gradually covering a radius of 45m in length, and 25 feet in height. Saisho no unmei is lethal technique as it not only makes it hard to see Promethazine's location but can as well destroy anything in it's part using it's pronounced caustic prowess.it lasts for 3 posts, after that it requires a 2 post charge time before it can be activate again.


Name: Tsugi no unmei (次の運命, Second fate)
Element: Acid Manipulation
Type: Active ability III
Command: Kyūjōshō (急上昇, Soar)
Description: By placing both hands on the ground before saying the word of command, Promethazine can infuse a great amount of reiatsu through his hands into the earth while tracking the location of his target with his eyes, doing so, he can channel a wave of his molten acid from underground which moves at a speed one level below his base speed towards his target to cause a ravaging outburst of several acidic walls/pillars from beneath the earth's crust intertwining within a radius of 15m of the target as long it (the target) is within 35m of Promethazine's location. Tsugi no unmei is reiatsu demanding as it requires great amount of his reiatsu for each use.

I respect your devotion to originality, Indra!

[1] Is Sansei Unmei in a "molten" form or a "liquid" form? Molten implies heat, which means your acid would burn thermally as well as chemically. I expect you just meant liquid, but please clarify.
[2] What color is the vapour? This is important if it can obscure you from view. Just something to mention for completeness' sake.
[2.1] I think you might want to just say your Zanpakuto converts into an acidic liquid whose physical state of matter (liquid, gas, or solid) you could change selectively at will. You use the terms mist and fog when they kind of mean the same thing except in the context of weather and water vapour.

[3] I think you should delete the bolded portion of Saisho no Unmei - it confuses the meaning. Magnetization means you need an electrical field, which you don't have the ability to generate.
[4] A small point, but either use feet or meters - confusing units can confuse the reader.
[5] Can I just blow this mist away?

[6] Tsugi no Unmei seems to use a lot of acid - how much acid is there? Can you put a number on that? For example, "While in a liquid state, the acid would be enough to fill a 7-liter jug."

There's a lot of questions I asked, so for right now this Zanpakuto is Not Approved.

1: Even if it is in liquid form it will still carry out it's thermal and chemical activity
And yes acid is hot, hot acid
Molten will do

2: It was written clearly "condense *ash* fog" that's the colour

2.1: Actually Fog and mist do not neccesarily mean weather and water vapour
They are just thick cloud or any liquid finely suspended in air

3: I already explained that my acid can be controlled suspensively, i will like to use another word to explain other than magnetisation

4: Alright, i will do just that

5: you cant, i said it mixed with the molten acid making it thickened

6: 100 litres
1) I do actually need to ask for the sake of clarity that you change the word molten. Molten means something that naturally exists as a solid being superheated to the point it becomes liquid - like metal, stone, or glass. The acid you speak of seems to exist naturally as a liquid, which is different and would respond differently on the battlefield if someone cooled it with an ice-technique, for example. Water cools under cold wind, but would remain liquid. Molten stone under cold wind would solidify rapidly. In addition, if the acid is hot, make mention of how hot - hot enough to cause burns, or hot enough to melt steel? A reference like that is important. After you revise those two points, this is Conditionally Approved.

2) Condense - not a color, it's a verb.
Ash - can be different colors between gray and black depending on what's burnt.
Fog - could be very light gray, even white, or dark gray.
Fog and Ash are adjectives used to define the shade of Black, Gray, or White - but they do not imply the same thing. If you said Ash White, or Fog Gray, that would be clear; but, you did not. Furthermore, since we deal with supernatural phenomenon, we could see purple fog or green ash. Please use a more standard color. If you respond with that this is Conditionally Approved.

2.1) You misunderstand. I'm saying to say fog and mist interchangeably is confusing UNLESS you mean weather, in which there's a distinct difference. If you just mean fog or mist in the general sense of a thick cloud, a reader is liable to think that "Oh, when Indra says mist, it will behave differently vs. when he says fog!" If I understand, this is not your intent. If you DO mean fog and mist to behave differently, we're going to need a different discussion. Again, that was more a suggestion than a requirement - but in my experience people will twist your words to make their point.

3) I don't understand what you're saying. I know you said the acid is controlled while in suspended form as a fog/mist. What I'm saying is that magnetize is a misleading word, especially when you use a word like molten, which implies you're using a dense liquid which is normally solid. What if I had a magnetic Zanpakuto? They could infer they could use their magnetism to disrupt your ability. If you submit a changed version, this is Conditionally Approved.

5) "In its Shikai, Sansei unmei's blade liquefies into a large pool of highly corrosive acid in molten form, [...] The pool of acid initially drops to the ground, take form of a 'Hydra' (water snake), and then briefly swarm around Promethazine's body like a whirlwind before taking a restive motion. [...] Promethazine can control/manipulate the pool of acid in whatever way he sees fit, allowing him mold or structure it into any desired shape [...] Additionally, as long as Promenthazine's Shikai is active, Sansei unmei passively erects around Promenthazine's entirety, an unarguably condense ash fog made from vapour

OK, that answer leads me into my real point. You're saying in the beginning it loiters around you in the form of a "pool of acid;" in other words, a fluid. Then you later say, it's a "fog made from vapour." Which is it? Is it a fluid state or a vapor state? Or is a select portion of the total liquid acid in the form of the defensive mist that loiters around you, while the rest remains usable for more active purposes? And how freely can you convert the liquid acid between these two states? Is it just an "as desired" thing? Or is it a significant enough change that you need named abilities like this? In addition, what portion is present as fluid vs. vapor when you're not actively converting between them? If you could submit a revision making an answer to these points it's Conditionally Approved.

6) The volume is Approved
word count: 1642
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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#203

Post by Indra » Thu Jan 10, 2019 10:34 pm

Shinoda wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:37 am
Indra wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:01 am
Shinoda wrote:
Thu Jan 03, 2019 3:54 pm


I respect your devotion to originality, Indra!

[1] Is Sansei Unmei in a "molten" form or a "liquid" form? Molten implies heat, which means your acid would burn thermally as well as chemically. I expect you just meant liquid, but please clarify.
[2] What color is the vapour? This is important if it can obscure you from view. Just something to mention for completeness' sake.
[2.1] I think you might want to just say your Zanpakuto converts into an acidic liquid whose physical state of matter (liquid, gas, or solid) you could change selectively at will. You use the terms mist and fog when they kind of mean the same thing except in the context of weather and water vapour.

[3] I think you should delete the bolded portion of Saisho no Unmei - it confuses the meaning. Magnetization means you need an electrical field, which you don't have the ability to generate.
[4] A small point, but either use feet or meters - confusing units can confuse the reader.
[5] Can I just blow this mist away?

[6] Tsugi no Unmei seems to use a lot of acid - how much acid is there? Can you put a number on that? For example, "While in a liquid state, the acid would be enough to fill a 7-liter jug."

There's a lot of questions I asked, so for right now this Zanpakuto is Not Approved.

1: Even if it is in liquid form it will still carry out it's thermal and chemical activity
And yes acid is hot, hot acid
Molten will do

2: It was written clearly "condense *ash* fog" that's the colour

2.1: Actually Fog and mist do not neccesarily mean weather and water vapour
They are just thick cloud or any liquid finely suspended in air

3: I already explained that my acid can be controlled suspensively, i will like to use another word to explain other than magnetisation

4: Alright, i will do just that

5: you cant, i said it mixed with the molten acid making it thickened

6: 100 litres
1) I do actually need to ask for the sake of clarity that you change the word molten. Molten means something that naturally exists as a solid being superheated to the point it becomes liquid - like metal, stone, or glass. The acid you speak of seems to exist naturally as a liquid, which is different and would respond differently on the battlefield if someone cooled it with an ice-technique, for example. Water cools under cold wind, but would remain liquid. Molten stone under cold wind would solidify rapidly. In addition, if the acid is hot, make mention of how hot - hot enough to cause burns, or hot enough to melt steel? A reference like that is important. After you revise those two points, this is Conditionally Approved.

2) Condense - not a color, it's a verb.
Ash - can be different colors between gray and black depending on what's burnt.
Fog - could be very light gray, even white, or dark gray.
Fog and Ash are adjectives used to define the shade of Black, Gray, or White - but they do not imply the same thing. If you said Ash White, or Fog Gray, that would be clear; but, you did not. Furthermore, since we deal with supernatural phenomenon, we could see purple fog or green ash. Please use a more standard color. If you respond with that this is Conditionally Approved.

2.1) You misunderstand. I'm saying to say fog and mist interchangeably is confusing UNLESS you mean weather, in which there's a distinct difference. If you just mean fog or mist in the general sense of a thick cloud, a reader is liable to think that "Oh, when Indra says mist, it will behave differently vs. when he says fog!" If I understand, this is not your intent. If you DO mean fog and mist to behave differently, we're going to need a different discussion. Again, that was more a suggestion than a requirement - but in my experience people will twist your words to make their point.

3) I don't understand what you're saying. I know you said the acid is controlled while in suspended form as a fog/mist. What I'm saying is that magnetize is a misleading word, especially when you use a word like molten, which implies you're using a dense liquid which is normally solid. What if I had a magnetic Zanpakuto? They could infer they could use their magnetism to disrupt your ability. If you submit a changed version, this is Conditionally Approved.

5) "In its Shikai, Sansei unmei's blade liquefies into a large pool of highly corrosive acid in molten form, [...] The pool of acid initially drops to the ground, take form of a 'Hydra' (water snake), and then briefly swarm around Promethazine's body like a whirlwind before taking a restive motion. [...] Promethazine can control/manipulate the pool of acid in whatever way he sees fit, allowing him mold or structure it into any desired shape [...] Additionally, as long as Promenthazine's Shikai is active, Sansei unmei passively erects around Promenthazine's entirety, an unarguably condense ash fog made from vapour

OK, that answer leads me into my real point. You're saying in the beginning it loiters around you in the form of a "pool of acid;" in other words, a fluid. Then you later say, it's a "fog made from vapour." Which is it? Is it a fluid state or a vapor state? Or is a select portion of the total liquid acid in the form of the defensive mist that loiters around you, while the rest remains usable for more active purposes? And how freely can you convert the liquid acid between these two states? Is it just an "as desired" thing? Or is it a significant enough change that you need named abilities like this? In addition, what portion is present as fluid vs. vapor when you're not actively converting between them? If you could submit a revision making an answer to these points it's Conditionally Approved.

6) The volume is Approved

1:Alright
2:Alright I will go with Ash white
2.1: Mist will do
3:Alright
5:You are mixing the techniques SANSEI no unmei is different from Saisho no unmei
Saisho no unmei is the second ability that makes condense acidic mist spread while promethazine is in the liquid acid
It's different from the first ability
Please read through the abilities again

I will make a revision very soon
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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#204

Post by konami31 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:42 am

@Reviewer, i have asked XIII about posting technique in this thread and he agreed with the idea, please review this as soon as possible
Character's Name: Dugu Wuque
Name of Technique: Ten Fumitsuke(Heaven trampling steps)
Type: KIdo(presumably kido 87)
Description: once the spell is casted, seven gigantic illusory foot of 50m in width will appear and descend from the sky simultaneously with a gravitational momentum, capable of damaging the muscles and bones of the target, with each step powerful than the next. Due to the gravitational force bearing down on the target, weaker beings may find it difficult to avoid.Though illusory and translucent, the foot will only phase through the target upon contact but the might of the gravitational force cannot be ignored even if the foot doesn't make contact with the target.
  • the first step equals the might of kido 11
  • the second step equals the might of kido 33(albeit one-third of its power)
  • the third step equals the might of kido 45(albeit one-third of its power)
  • the fourth step equals the might of kido 54(albeit one-third of its power)
  • the fifth step equals the might of kido 63(albeit one-third of its power)
  • the sixth step equals the might of kido 75(albeit one-third of its power)
  • finally the seventh step equals the migt of kido 87(albeit at full power)
Requirment:Kido stats of B or higher and a reiatsu level of A+ or higher
Incantation: TBA

Character's Name: Dugu Wuque
Name of Technique: Shukusei
Type: Kido(presumably kido 92)
Description:upon uttering the spell, a humongous fiery meteor would descend from the sky like a true shooting star and collapse with great explosion at the intended target or region of 80m that the caster had in mind. If stopped by the target, another meteor will descend and collide with the first meteor to double the speed of the fall albeit with the same damage.
Requirment:Kido stats of A+ higher and a reiatsu level of A+ or higher
Incantation: TBA
Last edited by konami31 on Sat Jan 12, 2019 2:26 am, edited 5 times in total. word count: 348
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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#205

Post by Shinoda » Sat Jan 12, 2019 12:03 am

Indra wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 10:34 pm
Shinoda wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:37 am
5) "In its Shikai, Sansei unmei's blade liquefies into a large pool of highly corrosive acid in molten form, [...] The pool of acid initially drops to the ground, take form of a 'Hydra' (water snake), and then briefly swarm around Promethazine's body like a whirlwind before taking a restive motion. [...] Promethazine can control/manipulate the pool of acid in whatever way he sees fit, allowing him mold or structure it into any desired shape [...] Additionally, as long as Promenthazine's Shikai is active, Sansei unmei passively erects around Promenthazine's entirety, an unarguably condense ash fog made from vapour

OK, that answer leads me into my real point. You're saying in the beginning it loiters around you in the form of a "pool of acid;" in other words, a fluid. Then you later say, it's a "fog made from vapour." Which is it? Is it a fluid state or a vapor state? Or is a select portion of the total liquid acid in the form of the defensive mist that loiters around you, while the rest remains usable for more active purposes? And how freely can you convert the liquid acid between these two states? Is it just an "as desired" thing? Or is it a significant enough change that you need named abilities like this? In addition, what portion is present as fluid vs. vapor when you're not actively converting between them? If you could submit a revision making an answer to these points it's Conditionally Approved.

6) The volume is Approved

1:Alright
2:Alright I will go with Ash white
2.1: Mist will do
3:Alright
5:You are mixing the techniques SANSEI no unmei is different from Saisho no unmei
Saisho no unmei is the second ability that makes condense acidic mist spread while promethazine is in the liquid acid
It's different from the first ability
Please read through the abilities again

I will make a revision very soon
[5] Re-read what I said. I'm not asking about the mechanic of the Saisho no Unmei ability. I'm asking about the composition of Sansei no Unmei's acid when Saisho no Unmei is is not in use. You say it loiters around your body as a fluid but then you say it's also a vapour. Note that the text is quoted from the Shikai Description section. Not Approved.
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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#206

Post by Fluxarc » Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:27 am



[Soul Slayer Name]
Godsworn

[Soul Slayer Spirit]
Within Kara's Inner World, Godsworn takes the form of Kara herself, though with white hair and piercing blue eyes, and refers to herself as Helm. She is strict and unforgiving, and will usually make Kara take on trials before teaching her any new techniques.

[Inner World]

Yana's inner world is a vast, icy mountain range ravaged by a perpetual blizzard. Atop the central and highest mountain is an incredibly tall tower of austere black marble. Treacherous steps spiral up the outside of the castle to a large room at the top, where Helm sits upon a black throne, watching over her dominion.


[Release Phrase]
Declare

[Initial Release/Shikai appearance]
Once Godsworn is released, it turns into pure radiant silver energy, which then reforms into a silvery, flexible armor covering the entirety of both her arms. This armor is strong enough to fend off powerful blows and bladed weapons.

[Soul Slayer Power Base]
Particle Manipulation

[Initial Release/Shikai Abilities]

{Passive}

Ambrosia Aspect
The Ambrosia Aspect is a characteristic unique to those known as Prime Potentials, beings capable of unlocking the Chaos Core, an ancient power source. Kara's Ambrosia Aspect makes her spiritual energy completely undetectable. However, it also takes away her ability to use Kido.

Genesis Gauntlet
The Genesis Gauntlets give Kara access to her most basic and most powerful ability- Particle Manipulation.

Kara wields control over all particulate matter, which includes corporeal (rocks, water, steel) and incorporeal (fire, spirit energy) things. This control comes in two forms, macro and micro. Macro control is basic telekinesis, moving objects from one place to another.

Micro control is transmutation, manipulating objects at the subatomic level to change their very substance i.e. changing water to ice, or earth to magma to steel, or fire to spirit energy, and vice versa.

Macro Control costs 1.5% of Kara's total spirit energy for masses double her own, while Micro Control costs 3.0%. However, this is for the initial 'telekinetic grasp' i.e. when she first ‘grabs’ an object with her telekinesis, or transmutes it. Subsequently, the cost is more psychic than energy-based, with a drain of 5% of Kara’s psychic energy per three-posts during which the object is telekinetically held. This translates as a 5% reduction per three-posts of Kara’s speed, strength, agility and reaction time. Once Kara drops her telekinetic hold, her psychic energy is restored at the same rate as it was drained.

There is no definite limit to the number of simultaneously controllable masses; the only limit is in the energy and mental stamina required.


{Active}

Scryer

By manipulating energies within herself, Kara is capable of activating a unique optical ability called Scryer. When Scryer is activated, Kara’s pupils and irises darken, then transform into two thin black rings, while her sclera turn a piercing silver.

Scryer allows Kara to view the worlds in terms of its energies. Through training Kara can learn to ‘mask out’ energies, allowing her to effectively see through obstructions or structures. Being able to view energies also allows Kara to predict attacks by studying energy patterns, which may dramatically increase her reaction time. Kara can also warp space visually, allowing her to zoom in on objects at a distance, as well as ‘wrapping’ space around her, allowing her to see in all directions simultaneously.

Activating the Scryer ability costs 5% of Kara's spiritual energy, whilst maintaining it will reduce all her physical abilities by 2.5% per three posts. Both the panoramic and telescopic variants of the Scryer ability cost an extra 5% of Kara's energy to activate.


Wrathful Oath
Using her particle control ability Kara is able to kinetically charge solid objects by accelerating their particles, effectively energizing them. This allows her to create spontaneous explosions, even out of thin air.

To create spontaneous explosions, objects must be charged up a hundred percent, which drains 3.0% of Kara's energy for solid objects of mass equal to his own; the explosive energy released is equal to four times (10x) the mass of the solid object. Objects will explode once Kara releases her telekinetic hold on them, allowing her to fire off charged objects at opponents.

A less than hundred percent charge on an object typically results in intense combustion, rather than an explosion i.e. really hot flames, for combustible objects.




word count: 736
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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#207

Post by PhoenixDayne » Mon Jan 14, 2019 12:53 pm

Fluxarc wrote:
Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:27 am


[Soul Slayer Name]
Godsworn

[Soul Slayer Spirit]
Within Kara's Inner World, Godsworn takes the form of Kara herself, though with white hair and piercing blue eyes, and refers to herself as Helm. She is strict and unforgiving, and will usually make Kara take on trials before teaching her any new techniques.

[Inner World]

Yana's inner world is a vast, icy mountain range ravaged by a perpetual blizzard. Atop the central and highest mountain is an incredibly tall tower of austere black marble. Treacherous steps spiral up the outside of the castle to a large room at the top, where Helm sits upon a black throne, watching over her dominion.
[Release Phrase]
Declare

[Initial Release/Shikai appearance]
Once Godsworn is released, it turns into pure radiant silver energy, which then reforms into a silvery, flexible armor covering the entirety of both her arms. This armor is strong enough to fend off powerful blows and bladed weapons.
How powerful exactly?
[Soul Slayer Power Base]
Particle Manipulation

[Initial Release/Shikai Abilities]

{Passive}

Ambrosia Aspect
The Ambrosia Aspect is a characteristic unique to those known as Prime Potentials, beings capable of unlocking the Chaos Core, an ancient power source. Kara's Ambrosia Aspect makes her spiritual energy completely undetectable. However, it also takes away her ability to use Kido.
Accepted.
Genesis Gauntlet
The Genesis Gauntlets give Kara access to her most basic and most powerful ability- Particle Manipulation.

Kara wields control over all particulate matter, which includes corporeal (rocks, water, steel) and incorporeal (fire, spirit energy) things. This control comes in two forms, macro and micro. Macro control is basic telekinesis, moving objects from one place to another.

Micro control is transmutation, manipulating objects at the subatomic level to change their very substance i.e. changing water to ice, or earth to magma to steel, or fire to spirit energy, and vice versa.
You just transmute, right? While with the help of telekinesis, you move, right? I see the route you're taking.
How do you transmute? Via thought? Contact?
Macro Control costs 1.5% of Kara's total spirit energy for masses double her own, while Micro Control costs 3.0%. However, this is for the initial 'telekinetic grasp' i.e. when she first ‘grabs’ an object with her telekinesis, or transmutes it. Subsequently, the cost is more psychic than energy-based, with a drain of 5% of Kara’s psychic energy per three-posts during which the object is telekinetically held. This translates as a 5% reduction per three-posts of Kara’s speed, strength, agility and reaction time. Once Kara drops her telekinetic hold, her psychic energy is restored at the same rate as it was drained.
I'm amazed. The solidity of the weaknesses, I'm yet to see anything that rivals it.
There is no definite limit to the number of simultaneously controllable masses; the only limit is in the energy and mental stamina required.
Though, the weakness before, is awesome. I'm not really going to accept this. Meaning, even rubbles that sum up to the mass of a well built tower can be controlled telekinetically. Before that, can you grab multiple objects? The object can be as big as a building. I can't accept that. I need a limit to the mass of what you can move, telekinetically.

{Active}

Scryer

By manipulating energies within herself, Kara is capable of activating a unique optical ability called Scryer. When Scryer is activated, Kara’s pupils and irises darken, then transform into two thin black rings, while her sclera turn a piercing silver.

Scryer allows Kara to view the worlds in terms of its energies. Through training Kara can learn to ‘mask out’ energies, allowing her to effectively see through obstructions or structures. Being able to view energies also allows Kara to predict attacks by studying energy patterns, which may dramatically increase her reaction time. Kara can also warp space visually, allowing her to zoom in on objects at a distance, as well as ‘wrapping’ space around her, allowing her to see in all directions simultaneously.

Activating the Scryer ability costs 5% of Kara's spiritual energy, whilst maintaining it will reduce all her physical abilities by 2.5% per three posts. Both the panoramic and telescopic variants of the Scryer ability cost an extra 5% of Kara's energy to activate.
High reward, high risk. However, how far can you zoom?
Temporarily accepted.
Wrathful Oath
Using her particle control ability Kara is able to kinetically charge solid objects by accelerating their particles, effectively energizing them. This allows her to create spontaneous explosions, even out of thin air.

To create spontaneous explosions, objects must be charged up a hundred percent, which drains 3.0% of Kara's energy for solid objects of mass equal to his own; the explosive energy released is equal to four times (10x) the mass of the solid object. Objects will explode once Kara releases her telekinetic hold on them, allowing her to fire off charged objects at opponents.

A less than hundred percent charge on an object typically results in intense combustion, rather than an explosion i.e. really hot flames, for combustible objects.
Accepted.




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word count: 875
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Fluxarc
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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#208

Post by Fluxarc » Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:42 pm



Thanks for the feedback! I've made a few changes based on your suggestions and questions, and added a couple things I forgot to. Lemme know what you think.

[Soul Slayer Name]
Godsworn

[Soul Slayer Spirit]
Within Kara's Inner World, Godsworn takes the form of Kara herself, though with white hair and piercing blue eyes, and refers to herself as Helm. She is strict and unforgiving, and will usually make Kara take on trials before teaching her any new techniques.

[Inner World]

Yana's inner world is a vast, icy mountain range ravaged by a perpetual blizzard. Atop the central and highest mountain is an incredibly tall tower of austere black marble. Treacherous steps spiral up the outside of the castle to a large room at the top, where Helm sits upon a black throne, watching over her dominion.


[Release Phrase]
Declare

[Initial Release/Shikai appearance]
Once Godsworn is released, it turns into pure radiant silver energy, which then reforms into a silvery, flexible armor covering the entirety of both her arms. This armor is strong enough to fend off moderately powerful blows (two levels above average physical strength) and bladed weapons.

[Soul Slayer Power Base]
Particle Manipulation

[Initial Release/Shikai Abilities]


{Passive}

Ambrosia Aspect

The Ambrosia Aspect is a characteristic unique to those known as Prime Potentials, beings capable of unlocking the Chaos Core, an ancient power source. Kara's Ambrosia Aspect makes her spiritual energy completely undetectable (except for those possessing extremely high spirit power), while heightening her own awareness of the life-forces of others dramatically. However, it completely takes away her ability to use Kido.

Genesis Gauntlet

The Genesis Gauntlets give Kara access to her most basic and most powerful ability- Particle Manipulation.

Kara wields control over all particulate matter, which includes corporeal (rocks, water, steel) and incorporeal (fire, spirit energy) things. This control comes in two forms, macro and micro. Macro control is basic telekinesis, moving objects from one place to another.

Micro control is transmutation, manipulating objects at the subatomic level to change their very substance i.e. changing water to ice, or earth to magma to steel, or fire to spirit energy, and vice versa. Transmutation occurs telekinetically, with no need for actual bodily contact with the target object.

Macro Control costs 1.5% of Kara's total spirit energy for masses double her own, while Micro Control costs 3.0%. However, this is for the initial 'telekinetic grasp' i.e. when she first ‘grabs’ an object with her telekinesis, or transmutes it. Subsequently, the cost is more psychic than energy-based, with a drain of 5% of Kara’s psychic energy per three-posts during which the object is telekinetically held. This translates as a 5% reduction per three-posts of Kara’s speed, strength, agility and reaction time. Once Kara drops her telekinetic hold, her psychic energy is restored at the same rate as it was drained.

There is no definite limit to the number of simultaneously controllable masses; the only limit is in the energy and mental stamina required.

(Well, technically if she tried to lift an object about 130 times her weight- or objects collectively weighing same amount- she'd pass out, because she'd have used all her spirit energy. Also, she's a leaf- doesn't weight much...:p)


{Active}

Scryer

By manipulating energies within herself, Kara is capable of activating a unique optical ability called Scryer. When Scryer is activated, Kara’s pupils and irises darken, then transform into two thin black rings, while her sclera turn a piercing silver.

Scryer allows Kara to view the worlds in terms of its energies. Through training Kara can learn to ‘mask out’ energies, allowing her to effectively see through obstructions or structures. Being able to view energies also allows Kara to predict attacks by studying energy patterns, which may dramatically increase her reaction time. Kara can also warp space visually, allowing her to zoom in on objects at a distance, as well as ‘wrapping’ space around her, allowing her to see in all directions simultaneously.

Activating the Scryer ability costs 5% of Kara's spiritual energy, whilst maintaining it will reduce all her physical abilities by 2.5% per three posts; the telescopic variant zaps 2.5% of her spirit energy for every 100 feet zoomed, and the panoramic variant requires an additonal 5% of her spirit energy to use. Both variants have the same affect on her physical abilities as Scryer's base power.

Kinetic Charging

Using her particle control ability Kara is able to kinetically charge solid objects by accelerating their particles, effectively energizing them. This allows her to create spontaneous explosions, even out of thin air.

To create spontaneous explosions, objects must be charged up a hundred percent, which drains 3.0% of Kara's energy for solid objects of mass equal to his own; the explosive energy released is equal to four times (10x) the mass of the solid object. Objects will explode once Kara releases her telekinetic hold on them, allowing her to fire off charged objects at opponents.

A less than hundred percent charge on an object typically results in intense combustion, rather than an explosion i.e. really hot flames, for combustible objects.
word count: 873
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PhoenixDayne
Posts: 102
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:36 am

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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#209

Post by PhoenixDayne » Tue Jan 15, 2019 3:05 pm

Fluxarc wrote:
Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:42 pm


[spoiler][Soul Slayer Name]
Godsworn

[Soul Slayer Spirit]
Within Kara's Inner World, Godsworn takes the form of Kara herself, though with white hair and piercing blue eyes, and refers to herself as Helm. She is strict and unforgiving, and will usually make Kara take on trials before teaching her any new techniques.

[Inner World]

Yana's inner world is a vast, icy mountain range ravaged by a perpetual blizzard. Atop the central and highest mountain is an incredibly tall tower of austere black marble. Treacherous steps spiral up the outside of the castle to a large room at the top, where Helm sits upon a black throne, watching over her dominion.


[Release Phrase]
Declare
[Initial Release/Shikai appearance]
Once Godsworn is released, it turns into pure radiant silver energy, which then reforms into a silvery, flexible armor covering the entirety of both her arms. This armor is strong enough to fend off moderately powerful blows (two levels above average physical strength) and bladed weapons.
So, wait. Statistically, what is considered average is C. And 2 levels above is B. The durability of this armor is quite much and I don't really know how to scale it since your CBS is currently not created. So, for now, this should be on hold.
[Soul Slayer Power Base]
Particle Manipulation

[Initial Release/Shikai Abilities]


{Passive}

Ambrosia Aspect

The Ambrosia Aspect is a characteristic unique to those known as Prime Potentials, beings capable of unlocking the Chaos Core, an ancient power source. Kara's Ambrosia Aspect makes her spiritual energy completely undetectable (except for those possessing extremely high spirit power), while heightening her own awareness of the life-forces of others dramatically. However, it completely takes away her ability to use Kido.
There are different concepts on what 'life-force' means or is. As it is now, it is temporarily 'approved'. So, by life-force, you either mean the things/components that makes something or someone animate or the soul, itself, that imbues life energy unto a body. Either way, it is accepted or do you mean their state of being alive or close to death. Not really the right words to use, but I'm trying to understand your own concept of life force.
What's your own definition of 'extremely'?
I'm asking these because, my previous reviews kind of had certain misunderstandings due to not being so clear or trying to sweep abilities under one ability slot. And can you relate how much that is required to be able to sense with your possible stats? That's to get a clearer view by the way.
Genesis Gauntlet

The Genesis Gauntlets give Kara access to her most basic and most powerful ability- Particle Manipulation.

Kara wields control over all particulate matter, which includes corporeal (rocks, water, steel) and incorporeal (fire, spirit energy) things. This control comes in two forms, macro and micro. Macro control is basic telekinesis, moving objects from one place to another.

Micro control is transmutation, manipulating objects at the subatomic level to change their very substance i.e. changing water to ice, or earth to magma to steel, or fire to spirit energy, and vice versa. Transmutation occurs telekinetically, with no need for actual bodily contact with the target object.
How fast are your transmutations?
Macro Control costs 1.5% of Kara's total spirit energy for masses double her own, while Micro Control costs 3.0%. However, this is for the initial 'telekinetic grasp' i.e. when she first ‘grabs’ an object with her telekinesis, or transmutes it. Subsequently, the cost is more psychic than energy-based, with a drain of 5% of Kara’s psychic energy per three-posts during which the object is telekinetically held. This translates as a 5% reduction per three-posts of Kara’s speed, strength, agility and reaction time. Once Kara drops her telekinetic hold, her psychic energy is restored at the same rate as it was drained.

There is no definite limit to the number of simultaneously controllable masses; the only limit is in the energy and mental stamina required.
Alright.
(Well, technically if she tried to lift an object about 130 times her weight- or objects collectively weighing same amount- she'd pass out, because she'd have used all her spirit energy. Also, she's a leaf- doesn't weight much...:p)
It is really cool how you used the word 'tried', lol.
Leaf? Duhhhhh.

{Active}

Scryer

By manipulating energies within herself, Kara is capable of activating a unique optical ability called Scryer. When Scryer is activated, Kara’s pupils and irises darken, then transform into two thin black rings, while her sclera turn a piercing silver.

Scryer allows Kara to view the worlds in terms of its energies. Through training Kara can learn to ‘mask out’ energies, allowing her to effectively see through obstructions or structures. Being able to view energies also allows Kara to predict attacks by studying energy patterns, which may dramatically increase her reaction time. Kara can also warp space visually, allowing her to zoom in on objects at a distance, as well as ‘wrapping’ space around her, allowing her to see in all directions simultaneously.
Fine. As I saw 'warp space', I jumped.
Activating the Scryer ability costs 5% of Kara's spiritual energy, whilst maintaining it will reduce all her physical abilities by 2.5% per three posts; the telescopic variant zaps 2.5% of her spirit energy for every 100 feet zoomed, and the panoramic variant requires an additonal 5% of her spirit energy to use. Both variants have the same affect on her physical abilities as Scryer's base power.
Accepted.
Kinetic Charging

Using her particle control ability Kara is able to kinetically charge solid objects by accelerating their particles, effectively energizing them. This allows her to create spontaneous explosions, even out of thin air.

To create spontaneous explosions, objects must be charged up a hundred percent, which drains 3.0% of Kara's energy for solid objects of mass equal to his own; the explosive energy released is equal to four times (10x) the mass of the solid object. Objects will explode once Kara releases her telekinetic hold on them, allowing her to fire off charged objects at opponents.

A less than hundred percent charge on an object typically results in intense combustion, rather than an explosion i.e. really hot flames, for combustible objects.[/font][/font][/size]
Within what range is the spontaneous explosion possible? How fast do these particles charge up?
It is misleading how you put (10x) after typing four times. Do adjust please.
Last edited by PhoenixDayne on Tue Jan 15, 2019 3:08 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 1108
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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#210

Post by platinum6ix » Wed Jan 16, 2019 1:28 pm

«Destroy
Type= Self/unreleased
Element= Energy Manipulation 
Description:
Once ability is activated the user releases a wave of energy from his body which is entirely explosive. This doesn't mean that the user can explode into particles, this simply means that the user can release a detonating wave from his skin upon the activation command, “Destroy.” Uttering it's name strengthens it's potency. Aside his skin, the user can independently redirect and release the destructive wave from the blade of his sword or upon physical contact with tangible objects (except zanpakuto). The destructive force and range of this blast is dependent on the following:
•A blast with no charge time can cover a range of 10m.

•The destructive force can be as weak as his lowest level of cero with same reiatsu cost inflicted.

•A two post charge time will bring about a blast range capable of covering a distance of near 20 meters respectively.
Last edited by platinum6ix on Wed Jan 16, 2019 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 156

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Re: Zanpakutou Workshop

#211

Post by Kira-duh-savage » Thu Jan 17, 2019 1:53 pm


Zanpakutō

Name: Sinbad. (海の神, Meaning ''Sea god'')

Sealed Form: In its sealed state, Sinbad maintains the appearance of a regular seeming katana with an azure blue hilt, and star shaped crossguard.

Manifested Form(s):
• Primarily, Sinbad takes on the appearance of a blue, frill-necked serpentine dragon spotting aquatically adapted features.
Image


Unsealed Form: Upon shikai activation, Sinbad transforms into a translucent, glowing blue trident_one whose centre prong extends the farthest and ends in an arrowhead. Spiralling down the entire shaft of the tool all the way down to its pointed base is a serpent, which resembles a miniature version of Sinbad's draconic form.

Shikai: Sinbad's release command is ''Drench''.

• Following the utterance of the shikai command, storm clouds quickly gather overhead, darkening the sky, and a drizzle ensues, spanning several tens of metres (50) around Kira. The magnitude of the drizzle (inclusively some other properties) can be finely modulated with respect to the user's desires and what is conditionally required at the moment, however, alterations like these can only be accomplished at the appropriate reiatsu expense. Kira's senses are strangely intertwined with the rain in such a way that he can perceive his environment through it; the sensation elicited within him by this extrasensory perception can be likened to that of someone possessing an advanced sense of touch/pressure, since he can quite literally ''feel'' the presence, positioning and motion of objects contacted by the rain with staggering accuracy. Though, this does not insinuate the presence of mobility enhancements in any form, merely his perception is being sharpened and fine tuned. Depending on the intensity of the rain and the duration of its fall, it is possible for vast volumes of water to amass into large tides that may sweep and crush everything in their path, causing devastating flashfloods; essentially transforming the entire region into a small ocean.
Shikai Special Ability

Hydrokinesis
Image
Description: Sinbad allows Kira to create, generate, shape and manipulate vast volumes of water and use it both offensively and defensively.

Overview

• Kira can freely manipulate all three states of water; the solid ice, aqueous water and gaseous vapor, in addition to being able to shift the phase of water from one state to another.
• He can also manipulate the properties of water, such as viscosity and density.
• He can thus change water into a thick and adhesive fluid or make it as thin as oil, or condense vapor particles and liquids enough to be tangible to the point where they are solid and hardened.
• To this end, he is enabled to construct water into varying shapes and forms of limited structural complexity.
Short list of possibilities includes:
°Appendages
°Armor
°Barriers
°Creatures
°Restraints
°Platforms
°Tools/Weapons
°Self Duplicates
• The structural integrity of the hydrokinetic objects varies, being usually dependent on the amount of reiatsu Kira expends.
• Gesturing with the free hand allows Kira better and more refined manipulation of water.
• Kira is not affected by the effects of the water he manipulates given it is borne from his very own reiatsu, but there might be some exceptions.
• The water may extremely antagonize opposing elements depending on the standing reiatsu differential.

Shikai Techniques:

[1] Sūikodan
(水鮫弾の術­, Meaning ''Water Shark Bomb'')
Description; Kira can condense water into large, aqua blue sharks which propel themselves towards a target at high speeds like torpedoes and explode.
Image
Mechanism
• Kira can project at least 5 sharks from his zanpakutō using casual gestures, such as swings and stabs.
• The reiatsu expense for creating a single shark is 2.5% Kira's energy reserves.
• When conjured, the water sharks blitz towards designated targets from various angles at high speeds, then explode in tandem.
• The sharks can travel through varying mediums.
• The nature of the medium itself affects the speed at which they can travel.
• In aquatic mediums, the sharks exhibit swimming speeds a level below Kira's base travel speed.
• In the atmosphere (air), the sharks exhibit swimming speeds 2 levels below Kira's base travel speed.
• It is inclusively plausible for the sharks to swim through the ground undetected without distorting its surface, by briefly turning the earth around their bodies to water and then simply tunneling through it. Underground, the sharks exhibit swimming speeds 3 levels below Kira's base travel speed.'
• The sharks would revert back to water should they stray beyond 50 metres of Kira.
• To detonate the them, Kira must issue the vocal command ''Burst'' (Bakuhatsu).
• In the eventuality that Kira fails to declare said vocal command, the sharks would instead deliver impacts of vast concussive force because of the momentum gathered.
• The explosive power of a single shark can rival that of one full powered Shakkahō.
• Should Kira desire it, the sharks can coalesce into an even bigger entity. Therefore, compounding their explosive power and drastically improving it. However, this gimmick is reasonably energy taxing and would demand as much reiatsu expense as an high grade Hadō spell.
• The detonation of these sharks yields steam.
[2] Mizudeppō
(水鉄砲, Meaning ''Water Gun'')
Description; Kira can fire bullets of highly pressurized water from the index finger of his hand.
Image
Mechanism
• Kira extends the index finger, while clenching the others save for the thumb which is projected vertically upwards to serve as an hammer. Water starts gathering in front of that finger, compressing into a solid droplet which Kira can then fire at breakneck speeds.
• The bullet can easily bore through rock and (with enough spiritual backing) probably even denser materials.
• Proper compression for a few seconds is prerequisite for the technique's efficiency, as firing a bullet haphazardly may lead to the delivery of blunt impact forces rivalling a full powered Shō spell.
• The energy expense for a single, fully compressed bullet is 1.5% Kira's reiatsu reserves.
• Kira can fire multiple bullets at a go or scatter shots (where a single bullet dissociates into several). However, the later gimmick will notably require more additional reiatsu expense (than the former).
• The effect a bullet produces upon impact can be ''edited'' to limitedly incorporate a few of Kira's other abilities.
• Possible edits are as follows;
°Freeze shots; bullets that induce freezing upon impact.
°Jail shots; bullets that decompress rapidly, imprisoning struck targets within spherical bodies of hyperbaric water.
°Boil shots; bullets that induce localized boiling upon impact (meant to be targeted preferably at limbs).
•Edits will attract varying reiatsu costs with respect to the nature and magnitude of the effects caused.
[3] Suiryūdan
(水龍弾の術­, Meaning ''Draco Meteor'')
Description; Kira summons a colossal serpentine dragon from the sky. The creature descends at incredible speeds and crashes into the region below, releasing a powerful large scale explosion upon impact.
Image
Mechanism
• The creature strongly resembles Sinbad's draconic form; hence the obvious name choice which actually translates into ''Draconic Meteor''.
• Kira is required to charge storm clouds over a prolonged period of (2 posts) time before the technique can be initiated.
• Prematurely using the technique will enormously degrade its efficiency.
• When the storm clouds are fully charged, the creature then descends at will, plunging from the sky at breakneck speeds owing to the joint contributions of atmospheric pressure and gravitational force. The external surface of the creature itself ignites with aqua blue flames supposedly due to aerokinetic friction. Upon crashing; a massive meteoric outburst capable of vaporizing a small sized mountain is released.
• However, with sufficient reiatsu backing, the explosion may rival that of one fully charged TBB.
• In the wake of the blast, large amounts of superheated water deluge into the surrounding environment.
• The energy expense for this technique at peak strength is equivalent to that of Ittō Kasō.
• After using the technique at peak strength twice Kira will be forcefully rendered incapable of accessing more than the crude applications of Sinbad's Abilities.
word count: 1299
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