[7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#41

Post by konami31 » Tue Jul 11, 2017 12:32 pm

@Solus, I hope this is okay?


➄ Dark mark: Any being Shinzenseishin touched can never be forgotten, once the zanpakuto has been activated. In practical terms, the darkness bestowed a dark mark that only Wuji can see. Therefore, any projectile or projected attack launched by Wuji will dwell in and followed the direction of the opponent until contact is made as long as the opponent is within 30m.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#42

Post by Vladkre33 » Fri Jul 14, 2017 4:09 pm

@Asano

Genuinely fascinating change up on the Bankai. Splitting it to two forms and restricting the more powerful behind your oft used skill is an excellent trade of. The same concerns on temperature margins as per my previous review, but that's pointless complaint in situations both practical and narrative senses. Look forward to seeing it in action sometime.

@Konami

Changing the wording does not change the problem here. Kidou is still "projected". Denied.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#43

Post by Asano » Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:38 pm

Vladkre33 wrote:
Fri Jul 14, 2017 4:09 pm
@Asano

Genuinely fascinating change up on the Bankai. Splitting it to two forms and restricting the more powerful behind your oft used skill is an excellent trade of. The same concerns on temperature margins as per my previous review, but that's pointless complaint in situations both practical and narrative senses. Look forward to seeing it in action sometime.
I’m a massive balance nerd. I kinda figured electing for either a stronger Shikai or a stronger (though short-lived) Bankai makes for some interesting strategy. Even the weaker form is interesting balancewise, given that it lacks some of the essential abilities the Shikai has but hotter flames.

It would come in a blur, and seek to lay waste to them all.
In a flash, the beast sought to let loose a calamity crafted by its own hands.
Its sole purpose to leave nothing but charred remains and ash...


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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#44

Post by konami31 » Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:12 am

Zanpakutō
Shizenseishin ( nature spirit)
Sealed State Appearance: A long katana with
green hilt and black sheathe, covered by a black
scabbard.
Shikai: its Release Command is Awake .

Release Appearance: Shizen seishin is a regular
Chinese nodachi-length blade fitted with a Chinese, jian- type and pommel.

Spirit personality : the spirit has a serious personality he acts calm and does not seem to be afraid at the prospect of accepting a
challenge. Shizen seishin deeply cares for his master, Wuji. He fears for Wuji's fate about becoming a warrior haunted by loneliness, a
process that seems irreversible. When Shizenseishin is angry, he speaks less. In addition, his
fighting style becomes very different. Instead valuing efficiency and using Wudang's martial art
skills, his methods become very dirty such as using unorthodox means to achieve victory.

Spirit's appearance : Shizen seishin has the appearance of a young teen with light blue eyes
with white-spiky hair, thin eye brows eyebrows and has slightly tan skin. He wears a long
sleeved blue shirt, light beige colored pants and black boots.
Inner world : a vast land partly surrounded by stream, humongous trees, flowers and plateaus.

Element Type: Shadow/darkness

Ⓑ➄Darkness: Upon activation of his zanpakuto, tendrils of darkness completely surround his entire body. While the darkness can be extended up to 30m in range, Wuji can as well manipulate his own shadow. The shadow and darkness can be shaped to whatever form Wuji wills it to be and can be used to attack or as defense. Each of the tendrils are as strong as solid steel and possesses sharp end or tip just as any katana. Furthermore, the tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast.
*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely. Wuji can elect the amount of reiatsu needed to shoot dark energy blast
➄ Traveller: Wuji can partly or completely merge his body into a shadow/darkness and appear
anywhere else from the same element. He's limited in the sense that he's no way faster than
his own natural shunpo speed.


➄ Dark zone: It's a dimensional void of infinite magnitude where time is insignificant. A landless place that houses a red moon in it. Anyone who stepped on the shadows of Wuji will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji. Once trapped inside, the zone possess the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 10% in each post for a minimum of 4 post if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent and 3 post if the opponent is higher in rank than him. The only possible way to escape the zone aside from the minimum period of post is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or get incapacitated by the opposition. And Wuji cannot use any of his zanpakuto once the zone is active.

Dark mark: Any being Shinzenseishin's darkness touched can never be forgotten, once the zanpakuto has been activated. In
practical terms, the darkness bestowed a dark mark that only Wuji can see. Therefore, any projected attack launched by Wuji's darkness will Swiftly dwell and follow his foe as long as the opponent is within
30m.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#45

Post by Silverdrake » Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:45 pm

Hi, Konami. Asano said I can post here, so....
konami31 wrote:
Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:12 am
Element Type: Shadow/darkness

Ⓑ➄Darkness: Upon activation of his zanpakuto, tendrils of darkness completely surround his entire body. While the darkness can be extended up to 30m in range, Wuji can as well manipulate his own shadow. The shadow and darkness can be shaped to whatever form Wuji wills it to be and can be used to attack or as defense. Each of the tendrils are as strong as solid steel and possesses sharp end or tip just as any katana. Furthermore, the tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast.

*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely. Wuji can elect the amount of reiatsu needed to shoot dark energy blast
You still have all light attacks being unable to overcome the darkness -- i.e. immunity.

It would be best if you gave a kidou-equivalent for the power of the blasts and stated their range.
➄ Dark zone: It's a dimensional void of infinite magnitude where time is insignificant. A landless place that houses a red moon in it. Anyone who stepped on the shadows of Wuji will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji. Once trapped inside, the zone possess the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 10% in each post for a minimum of 4 post if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent and 3 post if the opponent is higher in rank than him. The only possible way to escape the zone aside from the minimum period of post is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or get incapacitated by the opposition. And Wuji cannot use any of his zanpakuto once the zone is active.
I see you put the stamina drain back to 10%. That would be okay if this could be used only one or two times. Since it happens every time the opponent(s) step on the shadow, that is too much. You also left out "unless resisted." It's back to an auto-hit.

Reword to 'cannot use any of his zanpakutou abilities' or you might have someone griping that Wuji's using his sword. :roll:

A landless place ... does that mean everyone is floating? Can people airwalk inside it?
Dark mark: Any being Shinzenseishin's darkness touched can never be forgotten, once the zanpakuto has been activated. In practical terms, the darkness bestowed a dark mark that only Wuji can see. Therefore, any projected attack launched by Wuji's darkness will Swiftly dwell and follow his foe as long as the opponent is within 30m.
Looks good, except that you removed the mark's time limit. If you keep it this way, you'll have to keep a list of everyone who has the mark on them. (Which could have some interesting RP possibilities.)
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#46

Post by konami31 » Thu Aug 03, 2017 12:32 am

Zanpakutō
Shizenseishin ( nature spirit)
Sealed State Appearance: A long katana with
green hilt and black sheathe, covered by a black
scabbard.
Shikai: its Release Command is Awake .

Release Appearance: Shizen seishin is a regular
Chinese nodachi-length blade fitted with a Chinese, jian- type and pommel.

Spirit personality : the spirit has a serious personality he acts calm and does not seem to be afraid at the prospect of accepting a
challenge. Shizen seishin deeply cares for his master, Wuji. He fears for Wuji's fate about becoming a warrior haunted by loneliness, a
process that seems irreversible. When Shizenseishin is angry, he speaks less. In addition, his
fighting style becomes very different. Instead valuing efficiency and using Wudang's martial art
skills, his methods become very dirty such as using unorthodox means to achieve victory.

Spirit's appearance : Shizen seishin has the appearance of a young teen with light blue eyes
with white-spiky hair, thin eye brows eyebrows and has slightly tan skin. He wears a long
sleeved blue shirt, light beige colored pants and black boots.
Inner world : a vast land partly surrounded by stream, humongous trees, flowers and plateaus.

Element Type: Shadow/darkness

Ⓑ➄Darkness: Upon activation of his zanpakuto, tendrils of darkness completely surround his entire body. While the darkness can be extended up to 30m in range, Wuji can as well manipulate his own shadow. The shadow and darkness can be shaped to whatever form Wuji wills it to be and can be used to attack or as defense. Each of the tendrils are as strong as solid steel and possesses sharp end or tip just as any katana. Furthermore, the tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast within 30m.
*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely i.e only 20% of darkness light element can subdue. The blast of the darkness is as powerful depends on the amount of reiatsu Wuji elect to use i.e he can decide to use the amount of reiatsu needed to cast kido #30 or #11 to power the spell if he want.
➄ Traveller: Wuji can partly or completely merge his body into a shadow/darkness and appear
anywhere else from the same element. He's limited in the sense that he's no way faster than
his own natural shunpo speed.


➄ Dark zone: It's a dimensional void of infinite magnitude where time is insignificant. A landless place that houses a red moon in it.It's a spatial void where anyone can float and walk in midair to do combat. Unless resisted, anyone who stepped on the shadows of Wuji will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji. Once trapped inside, the zone possess the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 5% in each post for a minimum of 4 post if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent and 3 post if the opponent is higher in rank than him. The only possible way to escape the zone aside from the minimum period of post is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or get incapacitated by the opposition. And Wuji cannot use any of his zanpakuto abilities once the zone is active.
*The ability can only be used twice in a spar
Dark mark: Any being Shinzenseishin's darkness touched can never be forgotten for one day(i.e after one day, the mark will not exist), once the zanpakuto has been activated. In practical terms, the darkness bestowed a dark mark that only Wuji can see. Therefore, any projected attack launched by Wuji's darkness will Swiftly dwell and follow his foe as long as the opponent is within 30m.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#47

Post by Silverdrake » Mon Aug 07, 2017 5:02 pm

konami31 wrote:
Thu Aug 03, 2017 12:32 am
*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely i.e only 20% of darkness light element can subdue. The blast of the darkness is as powerful depends on the amount of reiatsu Wuji elect to use i.e he can decide to use the amount of reiatsu needed to cast kido #30 or #11 to power the spell if he want.
*headdesk*

You also cannot have an 80% resistance to all light-based attacks on a shikai.

Reword:

*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely. If not blocked with the tentacles, Wuji's shadow can negate 50% of light-based attacks.

The power of Blast of the Darkness can range from the equivalent of Kidou #11 to Kidou #30, as Wuji chooses. The Blast has a maximum range of 100m beyond the tip of the tentacle.

➄ Dark zone: It's a dimensional void of infinite magnitude where time is insignificant. A landless place that houses a red moon in it.It's a spatial void where anyone can float and walk in midair to do combat. Unless resisted, anyone who stepped on the shadows of Wuji will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji. Once trapped inside, the zone possess the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 5% in each post for a minimum of 4 post if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent and 3 post if the opponent is higher in rank than him. The only possible way to escape the zone aside from the minimum period of post is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or get incapacitated by the opposition. And Wuji cannot use any of his zanpakuto abilities once the zone is active.

*The ability can only be used twice in a spar
Y'know, this is an interesting formulation. It's only when stepping on Wuji's shadow, not the tentacles. Being pulled in can be resisted, but the drain cannot (and it's not necessarily a complete killer on its own). Wuji's at a disadvantage himself without his zan abilities. I don't think that's an unreasonable trade-off.

In fact, I would add one more twist -- Resisting being pulled in drastically slows the opponent for one full post as they unstick themselves from the shadows. That way it's not a completely wasted use if they resist.

Edit: Nope, just noticed something. You have it as a minimum of 4/3 posts, where I thought it was a maximum. That unresistable drain becomes more than nasty if there is no maximum time that the opponents can be held in the void before being let out.

Reword:

Once trapped inside, the zone possesses the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 5% in each post for 4 posts if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent, and 3 posts if the opponent is higher in rank. The only way to escape the zone aside from the stated duration -- at which time everyone is released -- is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or gets incapacitated by the opposition.

Dark mark: Any being Shinzenseishin's darkness touched can never be forgotten for one day(i.e after one day, the mark will not exist), once the zanpakuto has been activated. In practical terms, the darkness bestowed a dark mark that only Wuji can see. Therefore, any projected attack launched by Wuji's darkness will Swiftly dwell and follow his foe as long as the opponent is within 30m.
Looks fine.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#48

Post by konami31 » Mon Aug 07, 2017 9:38 pm

Zanpakutō
Shizenseishin ( nature spirit)
Sealed State Appearance: A long katana with
green hilt and black sheathe, covered by a black
scabbard.
Shikai: its Release Command is Awake .

Release Appearance: Shizen seishin is a regular
Chinese nodachi-length blade fitted with a Chinese, jian- type and pommel.

Spirit personality : the spirit has a serious personality he acts calm and does not seem to be afraid at the prospect of accepting a
challenge. Shizen seishin deeply cares for his master, Wuji. He fears for Wuji's fate about becoming a warrior haunted by loneliness, a
process that seems irreversible. When Shizenseishin is angry, he speaks less. In addition, his
fighting style becomes very different. Instead valuing efficiency and using Wudang's martial art
skills, his methods become very dirty such as using unorthodox means to achieve victory.

Spirit's appearance : Shizen seishin has the appearance of a young teen with light blue eyes
with white-spiky hair, thin eye brows eyebrows and has slightly tan skin. He wears a long
sleeved blue shirt, light beige colored pants and black boots.
Inner world : a vast land partly surrounded by stream, humongous trees, flowers and plateaus.

Element Type: Shadow/darkness

Ⓑ➄Darkness: Upon activation of his zanpakuto, tendrils of darkness completely surround his entire body. While the darkness can be extended up to 30m in range, Wuji can as well manipulate his own shadow. The shadow and darkness can be shaped to whatever form Wuji wills it to be and can be used to attack or as defense. Each of the tendrils are as strong as solid steel and possesses sharp end or tip just as any katana. Furthermore, the tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast within 30m.
*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely.
If not blocked with the tentacles, Wuji's shadow can negate 50% of light-based attacks. The power of Blast of the Darkness can range
from the equivalent of Kidou #11 to Kidou #30, as Wuji chooses. The Blast has a maximum range of
100m beyond the tip of the tentacle .
➄ Traveller: Wuji can partly or completely merge his body into a shadow/darkness and appear
anywhere else from the same element. He's limited in the sense that he's no way faster than
his own natural shunpo speed.


➄ Dark zone: It's a dimensional void of infinite magnitude where time is insignificant. A landless place that houses a red moon in it.It's a spatial void where anyone can float and walk in midair to do combat. Unless resisted, anyone who stepped on the shadows of Wuji will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji but resisting being pulled in drastically slows the opponent for one full post as they unstick themselves from the shadows. Once trapped inside, the zone possesses the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 5% in each post for 4 posts if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent, and 3 posts if the opponent is higher in rank. The only way to escape the zone aside from the stated duration --at which time everyone is released -- is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or gets incapacitated by the opposition.
*The ability can only be used twice in a spar
Dark mark: Any being Shinzenseishin's darkness touched can never be forgotten for one day(i.e after one day, the mark will not exist), once the zanpakuto has been activated. In practical terms, the darkness bestowed a dark mark that only Wuji can see. Therefore, any projected attack launched by Wuji's darkness will Swiftly dwell and follow his foe as long as the opponent is within 30m.


PS: wouldn't it be better if I make it 10% instead of 5% for the dark zone ability.?
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#49

Post by Silverdrake » Tue Aug 08, 2017 1:33 pm

konami31 wrote:
Mon Aug 07, 2017 9:38 pm
Ⓑ➄Darkness: Upon activation of his zanpakuto, tendrils of darkness completely surround his entire body. While the darkness can be extended up to 30m in range, Wuji can as well manipulate his own shadow. The shadow and darkness can be shaped to whatever form Wuji wills it to be and can be used to attack or as defense. Each of the tendrils are as strong as solid steel and possesses sharp end or tip just as any katana. Furthermore, the tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast within 30m.
*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely.
If not blocked with the tentacles, Wuji's shadow can negate 50% of light-based attacks. The power of Blast of the Darkness can range
from the equivalent of Kidou #11 to Kidou #30, as Wuji chooses. The Blast has a maximum range of
100m beyond the tip of the tentacle .
Konami, don't just cut and paste. In the spoilers, you appeared to have named the energy blasts as "Blast of the Darkness." You haven't yet put that into the main ability description; it's still just "tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast". I also extended the range of the blasts, but you still have "within 30m" in the main description.

There are also some awkward wordings, missed spaces/ capitalizations, etc. Proofread for a clean copy so it reads well.
➄ Dark zone: It's a dimensional void of infinite magnitude where time is insignificant. A landless place that houses a red moon in it.It's a spatial void where anyone can float and walk in midair to do combat. Unless resisted, anyone who stepped on the shadows of Wuji will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji but resisting being pulled in drastically slows the opponent for one full post as they unstick themselves from the shadows. Once trapped inside, the zone possesses the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 5% in each post for 4 posts if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent, and 3 posts if the opponent is higher in rank. The only way to escape the zone aside from the stated duration --at which time everyone is released -- is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or gets incapacitated by the opposition.
*The ability can only be used twice in a spar
The colored part is a nasty run-on. Break it between Wuji and resisting. It's describing two separate effects.
PS: wouldn't it be better if I make it 10% instead of 5% for the dark zone ability.?
Hmm....... ...... ........ 10% would be a pretty big drain over that duration if both uses pulled them in (80% and 60% total), However, the ability can be used only twice and might not work to pull the opponent in on either one. And Wuji is at basically unreleased state while inside.....

Y'know, let me run this past Asano. I'm leaning toward letting you have it, but I haven't checked around to see how other zans are being formulated here.

Might even up the slow duration to two posts, to make it worthwhile.

Just thought of something. Decide which stat the opponent must compete against (compare opponent's to Wuji's) in order to resist being pulled in. Unless there is a standard, everyone will just auto-resist. Since this is a function of his shadow, I would suggest Kidou since CCM doesn't have Reiatsu Control.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#50

Post by Silverdrake » Wed Aug 09, 2017 1:20 am

I checked with Asano. He's iffy on Dark Zone, but okays it at 10% given the limitations.

Slow of two posts should also be okay.

Konami, just be sure that Wuji HAS a shadow to manipulate. Not the tentacles, Wuji's own actual shadow. Claim all darkness or some BS like that, this ability will be nerfed or gone. Fair warning.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#51

Post by konami31 » Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:50 pm

Silverdrake wrote:
Wed Aug 09, 2017 1:20 am
I checked with Asano. He's iffy on Dark Zone, but okays it at 10% given the limitations.

Slow of two posts should also be okay.

Konami, just be sure that Wuji HAS a shadow to manipulate. Not the tentacles, Wuji's own actual shadow. Claim all darkness or some BS like that, this ability will be nerfed or gone. Fair warning.
I understand! but won't it be better if you word the 'Dark zone' for me. it's better that way so that I can post it! Please extend my thanks to Solus

Added in 14 minutes 34 seconds:
Zanpakutō
Shizenseishin ( nature spirit)
Sealed State Appearance: A long katana with
green hilt and black sheathe, covered by a black
scabbard.
Shikai: its Release Command is Awake .

Release Appearance: Shizen seishin is a regular
Chinese nodachi-length blade fitted with a Chinese, jian- type and pommel.

Spirit personality : the spirit has a serious personality he acts calm and does not seem to be afraid at the prospect of accepting a
challenge. Shizen seishin deeply cares for his master, Wuji. He fears for Wuji's fate about becoming a warrior haunted by loneliness, a
process that seems irreversible. When Shizenseishin is angry, he speaks less. In addition, his
fighting style becomes very different. Instead valuing efficiency and using Wudang's martial art
skills, his methods become very dirty such as using unorthodox means to achieve victory.

Spirit's appearance : Shizen seishin has the appearance of a young teen with light blue eyes
with white-spiky hair, thin eye brows eyebrows and has slightly tan skin. He wears a long
sleeved blue shirt, light beige colored pants and black boots.
Inner world : a vast land partly surrounded by stream, humongous trees, flowers and plateaus.

Element Type: Shadow/darkness

Ⓑ➄Darkness: Upon activation of his zanpakuto, tendrils of darkness completely surround his entire body. While the darkness can be extended up to 30m in range, Wuji can as well manipulate his own shadow. The shadow and darkness can be shaped to whatever form Wuji wills it to be and can be used to attack or as defense. Each of the tendrils and shadows are as strong as solid steel and possesses sharp end or tip just as any katana. Furthermore, the tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast within 100m.
*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely.
If not blocked with the tentacles, Wuji's shadow can negate 50% of light-based attacks. The power of the energy blast can range
from the equivalent of Kidou #11 to Kidou #30, as Wuji chooses. The Blast has a maximum range of
100m beyond the tip of the tentacle .
➄ Traveller: Wuji can partly or completely merge his body into a shadow/darkness and appear
anywhere else from the same element. He's limited in the sense that he's no way faster than
his own natural shunpo speed.


➄ Dark zone: It's a dimensional void of infinite magnitude where time is insignificant. A landless place that houses a red moon in it.It's a spatial void where anyone can float and walk in midair to do combat. Unless resisted by the opponent, anyone who stepped on the shadow will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji but resisting being pulled in drastically slows the opponent for two post as they unstick themselves from the shadows. Once trapped inside, the zone possesses the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 10% in each post for 4 posts if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent, and 3 posts if the opponent is higher in rank. The only way to escape the zone aside from the stated duration --at which time everyone is released -- is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or gets incapacitated by the opposition.
*The ability can only be used twice in a spar
Dark mark: Any being Shinzenseishin's darkness touched can never be forgotten for one day(i.e after one day, the mark will not exist), once the zanpakuto has been activated. In practical terms, the darkness bestowed a dark mark that only Wuji can see. Therefore, any projected attack launched by Wuji's darkness will Swiftly dwell and follow his foe as long as the opponent is within 30m.


@Silverdrake, if the 'Dark zone' description is not suitable. You can help with the wording. And we can have a happy reunion hmm.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#52

Post by Silverdrake » Sun Aug 13, 2017 2:35 am

konami31 wrote:
Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:50 pm
Ⓑ➄Darkness: Upon activation of his zanpakuto, tendrils of darkness completely surround his entire body. While the darkness can be extended up to 30m in range, Wuji can as well manipulate his own shadow. The shadow and darkness can be shaped to whatever form Wuji wills it to be and can be used to attack or as defense. Each of the tendrils and shadows are as strong as solid steel and possesses sharp end or tip just as any katana. Furthermore, the tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast within 100m.
Now the shadow is as strong as steel and has a tip like a katana? @_@
➄ Dark zone: It's a dimensional void of infinite magnitude where time is insignificant. A landless place that houses a red moon in it.It's a spatial void where anyone can float and walk in midair to do combat. Unless resisted by the opponent, anyone who stepped on the shadow will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji but resisting being pulled in drastically slows the opponent for two post as they unstick themselves from the shadows. Once trapped inside, the zone possesses the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 10% in each post for 4 posts if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent, and 3 posts if the opponent is higher in rank. The only way to escape the zone aside from the stated duration --at which time everyone is released -- is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or gets incapacitated by the opposition.
*The ability can only be used twice in a spar
I have removed "where time is insignificant" since that implies an ability to control time.

Dark zone: A spatial void of seemingly infinite magnitude, lit by a red moon. Inside this landless place, anyone can float and walk in midair to do combat. Unless resisted (vs. Wuji's Kidou stat), any opponent who steps on Wuji's shadow will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji. Once trapped inside, the zone possesses the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 10% in each post for 4 posts if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent, and 3 posts if the opponent is higher in rank. The only way to escape the zone before the stated duration -- at which time everyone is released -- is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or is incapacitated by the opposition.
* Resisting being pulled in drastically slows the opponent for two post as they unstick themselves from the shadow.
* This ability can only be used twice in a spar.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#53

Post by konami31 » Sun Aug 13, 2017 9:03 am

Zanpakuto

Shizenseishin ( nature spirit)

Sealed State Appearance: A long katana with

green hilt and black sheathe, covered by a black

scabbard.

Shikai: its Release Command is Awake .



Release Appearance: Shizen seishin is a regular

Chinese nodachi-length blade fitted with a Chinese, jian- type and pommel.



Spirit personality : the spirit has a serious personality he acts calm and does not seem to be afraid at the prospect of accepting a

challenge. Shizen seishin deeply cares for his master, Wuji. He fears for Wuji's fate about becoming a warrior haunted by loneliness, a
process that seems irreversible. When Shizenseishin is angry, he speaks less. In addition, his
fighting style becomes very different. Instead valuing efficiency and using Wudang's martial art
skills, his methods become very dirty such as using unorthodox means to achieve victory.



Spirit's appearance : Shizen seishin has the appearance of a young teen with light blue eyes
with white-spiky hair, thin eye brows eyebrows and has slightly tan skin. He wears a long
sleeved blue shirt, light beige colored pants and black boots.

Inner world : a vast land partly surrounded by stream, humongous trees, flowers and plateaus.



Element Type: Shadow/darkness



Ⓑ➄Darkness: Upon activation of his zanpakuto, tendrils of darkness completely surround his entire body. While the darkness can be extended up to 30m in range, Wuji can as well manipulate his own shadow. The shadow and darkness can be shaped to whatever form Wuji wills it to be and can be used to attack or as defense. Each of the tendrils and shadow are as strong as solid steel and possesses sharp end or tip just as any katana. Furthermore, the tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast within 100m.
*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely.

If not blocked with the tentacles, Wuji's shadow can negate 50% of light-based attacks. The power of the energy blast can range

from the equivalent of Kidou #11 to Kidou #30, as Wuji chooses. The Blast has a maximum range of

100m beyond the tip of the tentacle .


➄ Traveller: Wuji can partly or completely merge his body into a shadow/darkness and appear anywhere else from the same element. He's limited in the sense that he's no way faster than his own natural shunpo speed.





➄Dark zone: A spatial void of seemingly infinite magnitude, lit by a red moon. Inside this landless place, anyone can float and walk in midair to do combat. Unless resisted (vs. Wuji's Kidou stat), any opponent who steps on Wuji's shadow will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji. Once trapped inside, the zone possesses the ability to reduced the stamina of any opponents by 10% in each post for 4 posts if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent, and 3 posts if the opponent is higher in rank. The only way to escape the zone before the stated duration -- at which time everyone is released -- is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or is incapacitated by the opposition.
* Resisting being pulled in drastically slows the opponent for two post as they unstick themselves from the shadow.
* This ability can only be used twice in a spar.


Dark mark: Any being Shinzenseishin's darkness touched can never be forgotten for one day(i.e after one day, the mark will not exist), once the zanpakuto has been activated. In practical terms, the darkness bestowed a dark mark that only Wuji can see. Therefore, any projected attack launched by Wuji's darkness will Swiftly dwell and follow his foe as long as the opponent is within 30m.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#54

Post by Silverdrake » Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:24 pm

Zanpakuto

Shizenseishin


Zanpakuto

Shizenseishin ( nature spirit)

Sealed State Appearance: A long katana with green hilt and black sheathe, covered by a black scabbard.

Shikai: its Release Command is Awake .

Release Appearance: Shizen seishin is a regular Chinese nodachi-length blade fitted with a Chinese, jian- type and pommel.


Spirit personality : the spirit has a serious personality he acts calm and does not seem to be afraid at the prospect of accepting a challenge. Shizen seishin deeply cares for his master, Wuji. He fears for Wuji's fate about becoming a warrior haunted by loneliness, a process that seems irreversible. When Shizenseishin is angry, he speaks less. In addition, his fighting style becomes very different. Instead valuing efficiency and using Wudang's martial art skills, his methods become very dirty such as using unorthodox means to achieve victory.

Spirit's appearance : Shizen seishin has the appearance of a young teen with light blue eyes with white-spiky hair, thin eye brows eyebrows and has slightly tan skin. He wears a long sleeved blue shirt, light beige colored pants and black boots.

Inner world : a vast land partly surrounded by stream, humongous trees, flowers and plateaus.


Element Type: Shadow/darkness


Ⓑ➄Darkness: Upon activation of his zanpakuto, tendrils of darkness completely surround his entire body. While the darkness can be extended up to 30m in range, Wuji can as well manipulate his own shadow. The shadow and darkness can be shaped to whatever form Wuji wills it to be and can be used to attack or as defense. Each of the tendrils and shadow are as strong as solid steel and possesses sharp end or tip just as any katana. Furthermore, the tendrils can project darkness in form of energy blast within 100m.
*Light cannot overcome the darkness completely. If not blocked with the tentacles, Wuji's shadow can negate 50% of light-based attacks. The power of the energy blast can range from the equivalent of Kidou #11 to Kidou #30, as Wuji chooses. The Blast has a maximum range of 100m beyond the tip of the tentacle .

➄ Traveller: Wuji can partly or completely merge his body into a shadow/darkness and appear anywhere else from the same element. He's limited in the sense that he's no way faster than his own natural shunpo speed.


➄Dark zone: A spatial void of seemingly infinite magnitude, lit by a red moon. Inside this landless place, anyone can float and walk in midair to do combat. Unless resisted (vs. Wuji's Kidou stat), any opponent who steps on Wuji's shadow will find himself sucked inside the void together with Wuji. Once trapped inside, the zone possesses the ability to reduce the stamina of any opponents by 10% in each post for 4 posts if Wuji is higher or equal in rank to an opponent, and 3 posts if the opponent is higher in rank. The only way to escape the zone before the stated duration -- at which time everyone is released -- is if Wuji wills it to dissipate or is incapacitated by the opposition.
* Resisting being pulled in drastically slows the opponent for two post as they unstick themselves from the shadow.
* This ability can only be used twice in a spar.

Dark mark: Any being Shinzenseishin's darkness touches can never be forgotten for one day (i.e after one day, the mark will not exist), once the zanpakuto has been activated. In practical terms, the darkness bestows a dark mark that only Wuji can see. Therefore, any projected attack launched by Wuji's darkness will swiftly dwell and follow his foe as long as the opponent is within 30m.

I fixed the odd broken lines and excess blank lines, so you should be able to copy-paste what's in the spoiler for a clean copy.

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#55

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Fri Aug 18, 2017 3:38 pm

Name:: Tenbetsu
ability:Lightning
Type: Active
Description: Like Raijin Aoshi is aware of his surrounding electricity, but this time he can relate, influence as well make it his own. This allows for Aoshi to create lightning from thin air, Negate and outrightly render any form of lightning null and void, transform, create, turn anything he chooses to into lightning. Bending lightning into his will, Aoshi can also take the form of lightning thus granting him better flight. To be activated after the completion of 3post count.

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#56

Post by Silverdrake » Fri Aug 18, 2017 6:21 pm

Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Fri Aug 18, 2017 3:38 pm
Name:: Tenbetsu
ability:Lightning
Type: Active
Description: Like Raijin Aoshi is aware of his surrounding electricity, but this time he can relate, influence as well make it his own. This allows for Aoshi to create lightning from thin air, Negate and outrightly render any form of lightning null and void, transform, create, turn anything he chooses to into lightning. Bending lightning into his will, Aoshi can also take the form of lightning thus granting him better flight. To be activated after the completion of 3post count.
Active ability of what? If this is a change from an approved ability, post the approved version (with release level), then the requested change after it.

At what reiatsu cost?

Abso-fraggin'-lutely not.

Logia form doesn't exist within Bleach RP.

What is "To be activated after the completion of 3post count."?
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#57

Post by Akugaranwa Itachi » Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:22 pm

Silverdrake wrote:
Fri Aug 18, 2017 6:21 pm
Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Fri Aug 18, 2017 3:38 pm
Name:: Tenbetsu
ability:Lightning
Type: Active
Description: Like Raijin Aoshi is aware of his surrounding electricity, but this time he can relate, influence as well make it his own. This allows for Aoshi to create lightning from thin air, Negate and outrightly render any form of lightning null and void, transform, create, turn anything he chooses to into lightning. Bending lightning into his will, Aoshi can also take the form of lightning thus granting him better flight. To be activated after the completion of 3post count.
Active ability of what? If this is a change from an approved ability, post the approved version (with release level), then the requested change after it.

At what reiatsu cost?

Abso-fraggin'-lutely not.

Logia form doesn't exist within Bleach RP.

What is "To be activated after the completion of 3post count."?
Logia? What's Logia? I don't know what that is, or what anime it comes from, seeing as I just created it out of my very own invention.


This is not an approved ability, it was just made hours ago.

There are active abilities and there are passive abilities, by stating the type it helps for people to relate to which one it is.

Tenbetsu gets activated after a 3post count is done.(am sure you already knew this).

Been able to directly influence the surrounding electricity which Aoshi is capable of doing now, it should be noted that it would be only normal for him to have such level of control. As if u can influence something you can bend it to your will, make that same thing.....that is the idea.



Name:: Tenbetsu
ability:Lightning
Type: Active
Description: Like Raijin Aoshi is aware of his surrounding electricity, but this time he can relate, influence as well make it his own. This allows for Aoshi to create lightning from thin air, Negate and outrightly render any form of lightning null and void, transform, create, turn matter(except sentient begins). Bending lightning into his will. Tenbetsu can only be activated after the completion of 3post count. It should be noted that the ability take a toil on the user as it requires a lot of reiatsu for its useage

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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#58

Post by Silverdrake » Sat Aug 19, 2017 9:37 am

Akugaranwa Itachi wrote:
Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:22 pm
Logia? What's Logia? I don't know what that is, or what anime it comes from, seeing as I just created it out of my very own invention.
One Piece. The most powerful devil fruits turn the person into the substance (fire, mud, lightning, etc.). No such thing exists in Bleach.
This is not an approved ability, it was just made hours ago.
So this is a new ability, building on an existing one. Please include a link to your current approved zanpakutou and note which ability you are deriving this one from. It is not the reviewer's responsibility to go chasing down your zan post, nor to puzzle out where you're getting your idea. Furthermore, without seeing your current approved zan, the reviewer has no idea how this might fit in with what you already have, nor even if you have an open ability slot to take it.

When you post something for review, you are taking up the time of a real person. It is your responsibility to make things as clear and easy as possible so the reviewer can pay attention to the matter at hand.
Tenbetsu gets activated after a 3post count is done.(am sure you already knew this).
Had I known, I would not have asked, and being snarky does not advance your cause. Where you had the post count note made it unclear whether the entire ability activated at that time, or just the lightning form.
Been able to directly influence the surrounding electricity which Aoshi is capable of doing now, it should be noted that it would be only normal for him to have such level of control. As if u can influence something you can bend it to your will, make that same thing.....that is the idea.
There is a difference between influence and control. One can influence people around one's self, but that doesn't mean one can control them like puppets.
Name:: Tenbetsu
ability:Lightning
Type: Active
Description: Like Raijin Aoshi is aware of his surrounding electricity, but this time he can relate, influence as well make it his own. This allows for Aoshi to create lightning from thin air, Negate and outrightly render any form of lightning null and void, transform, create, turn matter(except sentient begins). Bending lightning into his will. Tenbetsu can only be activated after the completion of 3post count. It should be noted that the ability take a toil on the user as it requires a lot of reiatsu for its useage
Raijin is a god; Aoshi is not.

Negating lightning is a derivation of Hanki: "It nullifies an opponent's Kidō by hitting it with a Kidō of perfectly opposite speed and energy." So Aoshi will not be able to simply negate any and all lightning in his vicinity, but will have to individually counter each manifestation with the same reiatsu cost to himself as the opponent spent to create it. Beyond the matter of reiatsu expenditure, there is also that of limits. For example: If Aoshi can cast up to level 70 kidou, then he will not be able to completely negate a level 80 kidou-equivalent. His reiatsu control simply isn't up to the task. Likewise, if he needs to counter multiple incoming attacks, he can negate in total only up to his maximum kidou ability and the rest will get through. Along with this, Aoshi could choose to conserve reiatsu and partially negate an attack to a level that he -- or someone/something he is defending -- can otherwise resist, or at least survive.

What part of "Abso-fraggin'-lutely not." did you miss the first time?

When an ability has a charge-up period (3 post count) it should be noted at the beginning of the ability description.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#59

Post by Asano » Sun Aug 20, 2017 2:18 am

If I may intervene a bit here. First I’ll say that I’ll allow direct lightning invulnerability at limited or no cost.

Outright negation is a little trickier though, but I’ll also let that fly depending on how that shakes out. If negating anything lightning-based means someone casts as spell, but before it hits you, you essentially wipe it from existence that won’t play well. Should you face another lightning user, you effectively neutralize their entire Zanpakutou and that’s no bueno. In the case I describe, it removes any possibility for indirect effects to occur, like rather than taking you directly, they strike nearby and maybe an explosion happens and gets you...preventing that from even being able to happen isn’t cool.

But if you can assure that won’t happen (in writing), and describe another way this whole negation works I’ll let it be. If not, direct immunity to lightning/electricity is all you’ll get.

Turning things into lightning... interesting. Something else i almost want to say is cool, but it’ll be depending on how much matter or whatever you can convert at any given time and how much it’s costing you to do so.

But it should be noted that the idea does also play in a way makes this hard to pass, especially in conjunction with th lightning immunity.

So let’s say that someone attacks something near by you and it exploded. Logically some of the debris would fly your way. Excluding the explosion itself (the pressure wave and the fireball if there is one), you’d be immune to the debris by converting it to lightning. Nothing wrong in that case per se, but let’s look even further under the microscope.

Say you’re dealing with an earth user or an ice user that’s throwing earth/ice shards at you. Could you convert those into lightning? Don’t think that’d be cool in the slightest bit, since again you’re neutralizing entire Zan arsenals. So you’d have to limit what it can convert beyond what it is now.


Aside from that though I would almost say turning things into lightning is pointless if you can create it from thin air. Also what of your other abilities? Would this not be redundant if they all still exist? Seems like you have a lot of abilities that seem to do more or less the same thing?

Why not just... idk... do what I’m doing with Shiva’s Might:
Name: Shiva's Wrath 
Type: Passive
Element: Darkness/Fire
Description: Solus can cloak his dark hands with, or generate, move, and shape intense navy blue flames of highly concentrated reishi. With each punch, kick, or swipe of his claws, Solus can generate small waves reaching as far as 20m of the dark flames if he wishes.
Sub out flames for lightning and call it a day. It’s basically what you want to do, it’s not written in some over-the-top complicated way, and you can adjust the strength as need be.

Beyond that, let me ask you this? What do you want to do when you create these abilities? When I see stuff like this, I almost shake my head because I know abilities like what you wrote don’t do well. It’s just crazy power without any apparent thought for how to make proper use of it. A lot of the time come up because they’re broken as all hell, or because it looks cool. I’ve seen your Zan and familiarized myself with it (as you may have noted already). I’ll admit doesn’t full fit either of those two categories, but I can help but feel you tried to go as far as you possibly could. The end result is a lot of disparate abilities that are either redundant, easy walk all over, and don’t seem able to severe any effective purpose.

If you want real, and I mean genuinely good zanpakutou abilities you need to consider what your character can and can’t do, as well as how you battle as an RP’er. Nothing that’s clearly trying to game the system because that’s how you run into GM issues etc (and don’t think I haven’t noticed you trying that). And there’s no real need powers.

What makes a good zanpakutou isn’t how crazy the abilities are, or how much damage they can do just from how they’re written. No, a great zanpakutou is built on meaningful utility for its user. Each ability should serve around 1 or 2 specific functions that serve your strategic purposes.

For me, I built my zanpakutou on two basic ideas: Omni-ranged fighting (meaning Solus can fight effectively no matter what the distance is), and making it easy to stack effects to drive up damage potential (like I did to you in the HQ). Of course my zanpakutou is far more complicated than that, but it’s best to start simple.

So let’s take a quick look at my Zan on the most basic level.

Shiva’s Might. Basically allows Solus to shoot fire. What that ability does for me is either allows me to play a good zoning game. I can keep people out of our control where and where they can’t go by putting up walls of flame. Secondly, it lets me up my close range fighting ability by doing some fire punchies •u•. Of course there’s more it does, but you gotta walk before you can run.
Name: False Samsara 
Type: Passive
Element: Darkness
Description: By calling upon the powers of true darkness, Solus can create and telekinetically manipulate up to four arms of darkness. Each arm is as hard and as solid as steel. Additionally each hand possesses a set of claws just as sharp as any sword.


Name: Dark Mantra 
Type: Active 
Element: Darkness
Description: Using the power of shadow manipulation, Solus is given the power to expand and contract Zetsriel and her creations as he sees fit.
These are primarily defensive/support abilities. Summoning shadow hands gives Solus the ability to multi-task or deal/keep up with multiple attackers if he needs to. If not, overwhelming opponents with attacks from all the extra arms.

Making them bigger allows Solus to use them as barriers. Big objects that he can move around and position at will makes it hard to get in to do damage against him. But also if he needs to break things, having big hands helps.

Theravada should be well known, but it’s more or less a trump card. I only ever use it at full power for two reasons, when I can go for the kill, or I need to defend against something big. Otherwise it’s just a simple attack I can use at various ranges. And to make this clear, the reason why I have it matching the highest spell Solus can cast isn’t for the power. All that power is just a higher cost for a zanpakutou that already uses a lot of juice even when not used to the max. It’s mainly about the freedom to the exact amount of power I need to fit the situation. Power for power’s sake is useless. It’s always about how that power gets used that makes it worth a damn.

Then of course the real power comes from the fact that I often combine the abilities together, which is to enhance whatever purpose the abilities were created to serve. If you want a truly powerful zanpakutou, you should adopt this philosophy. Create abilities that severe 1 or 2 simple tasks in battle that can help you reach whatever goals you want to reach. Then also make abilities that also play well with each other.

To wrap this up, let me ask you something. What do you want to do? Want to be able to trap people? Want to fight close? Want to fight far? Let me know what you really want and then we can make and workshop some more meaningful and useful abilities. If you want, because you don’t have to rely on the nonsense to get anywhere.

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In a flash, the beast sought to let loose a calamity crafted by its own hands.
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Re: [7th Division] Zanpakutou Review

#60

Post by Silverdrake » Sun Aug 20, 2017 2:31 am

My problem with "convert anything to lightning" is that, beyond the OP-ness, it technically violates the element limit. Add in the difficulty of judging the volume of matter that can be converted and putting a reiatsu cost on it.

And since when are we allowing invulnerability? I just told Konami that he couldn't be invulnerable to light.
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